David Thompson is a marriage and family therapist, a certified sex addiction therapist, and half of the Two Therapists Talking podcast. In today’s episode he is invited to share whatever message “lights him up,” and he chooses to speak on the tremendous power of empathy. He even states that “empathy is the key that unlocks every door.” Of particular usefulness is David’s step-by-step guide for how to listen to a loved one with complete empathy. Empathy is impossible while still in shame, and...

If porn is a paycheck and I’m getting $200 a week and you tell me to just stop - the math doesn’t add up because I’m broke.  You have to give them hope - “what if I give you $500 a week in recovery.”  And that $500 is hope. This episode uncovers the understanding of unconditional love from God in talking with others and seeking God. Brother and Sisterhood, good 12 Step programs, bootcamps, etc. is what provides the larger payoff of a life in peace from the insanity cycle of acting...

Matt and Natalie were high school sweethearts, but unknown by her, Matt had been struggling with pornography since he was a boy. His struggles continued through high school and a church mission, and into their marriage, but he had never shared any of this with his parents, church leaders, or with Natalie. After their first year of marriage, she opened up to him about a childhood of sexual abuse, and Matt began a very slow process of disclosure to her… a process that lasted the next twelve...

Changing our state is a good practice when dealing with life’s stressful events – but getting outside and connecting to nature resets our minds. Chris, Steve, and James share what works best for them from hiking, sitting by a fire, or getting on a boat to help reset their state of mind.  The episode ends with a challenge to get outdoors and dive into nature. When you are done, go back to your car and get your phone and email a picture to [email protected].  Follow us on social...

Jacob and Trichelle, married for 32 years, both serve on the staff of Desert Solace, a pornography and sexual addiction treatment facility in St. George, Utah. In this episode, they recount their transformative journey from what they once described as 'soul sucking' to something they now see as 'beautiful'. Jacob's addiction overshadowed the first 26 years of their marriage but was difficult to identify as it oscillated between sex and workaholism. Their marriage teetered on the edge....

In this episode, Steve, James, and guest Kurt Francom explore the role of a higher power in addiction recovery. Recognizing the diversity of perspectives surrounding this topic, the trio transcends conventional definitions, offering insights grounded in their collective experience. The conversation touches on crucial themes, including wounds, surrender, identity, healing, and happiness. If you've ever pondered the complexities of this subject, you'll enjoy this thought-provoking and spirited...

Chris discusses his 15 years of sobriety and how it is defined with the group. Rather than a focus on abstinence from lust and acting out, recovery is a new way of life we walk with Christ. They also discuss the analogy of a marathon runner who trips up on mile 24 and how he doesn’t have to restart the race, he gets up and keeps on running.  What is your story in recovery? How have you defined reality and, more importantly, how do you define living a life with Christ in true hope and...

“When you are at rock bottom, you are super hard on yourself and you are just going to keep going further down - but when you finally have hope - you see the light and desire to keep going.” Brian and Alicia met in middle school, served missions for their church and got married. On returning home from South Africa, Brian got a smartphone and quickly found out how slippery a slope pornography is. He used it to medicate the negative emotions in life and got to the point where he couldn’t...

Recognizing that we have behaviors that are detrimental to both ourselves and others brings up some important questions. We wonder whether these actions classify as addictions, transient behaviors, or merely bad habits. More questions come up when we find that we can't easily stop the behavior. In this episode, we explore the reasons we even ask the questions. We contemplate the significance of the societal labels associated with such behaviors, the underlying factors contributing to our...

Today, Bryce is known among his friends as genuinely happy, and capable of putting an entire room at ease upon entering it. But it was only a few years ago that he reached out for help from the edge of despair. He had hit rock bottom in a lifestyle of porn and sex that was wreaking havoc in his life. Breaking free from shame and his destructive habits proved to be a challenging journey, but supportive individuals entered his life and guided him into therapy and helped him develop a community...

“Music can give me empathy like nobody around me can.”  Join us in a shorter 20-minute episode as Steven, James, and Chris share how music has helped them see God differently. Not just Christian music, but anything that uplifts, inspires, takes you to a sad place, or otherwise moves you into a place of reflection and learning.  Music is an amplifier of emotion which provides clarity and the opportunity to evaluate where we are in a moment of time - or to take us back to a moment of time....

At the age of 9, Kaylawnni began a challenging journey with sexual compulsion. Her struggle is marked by confusion and damaged self-confidence. A lyric from her favorite song boldly highlights the cause, "The devil lies, and twists the truth." She always assumed she'd take her secrets to the grave, but then, a close friend bravely disclosed his own battles, inspiring her to start her path to recovery.   In this bold and unashamed episode, Kaylawnni shares her insights and advice, highlighting...

"That was a moment for me that changed the trajectory of my life, my recovery; changed the connection with my wife, changed how I saw my kids; changed so much of me and who I was…" -Chris In this short ‘Live Unashamed’ episode, Steve, James and Chris discuss resources that make a difference and how to find them. Good resources can initiate breakthroughs and sustain recovery, but they must have qualities that work for you like giving hope, helping with emotions and encouraging accountability...

Kurt Francom, the Executive Director and Host of 'Leading Saints', returns to discuss the concepts behind his recently released book, "Is God Disappointed in me? Removing Shame from the Gospel of Grace." This episode explores the inspiration behind the book, drawing on Francom's experiences within the Unashamed Unafraid and Warrior Heart Boot Camp communities. The book's title resonates with those of us navigating journeys marked by brokenness. Satan whispers that God is ashamed and that He...

“I know where shame lives - and that’s in isolation.” Breaking anonymity shares how God has changed us and the desire to help one person to change their life is real when we come alive in Christ’s healing. It is reaching out with the most important messages in a shame-filled world - “you are not alone, and you are worth everything.”  It is easy for us to compare our suffering against others. To think our story is too small compared to others. Regardless of “little t traumas'' or “BIG T...

Caitlyn's life could have been shattered when she learned that her father, brother, and then the man she was thinking of marrying all struggled with addictions to pornography. However, steadfast in her faith in God and supported by therapy, she chose to view her loved ones independently of their addictions and to love them unconditionally. She dove into a life seasoned by recovery and hasn't looked back.  Doing hard things is a defining aspect of Corbin's life. Summoning immense courage, he...

Join us as we dive into stereotypes about addiction that are regularly aired in the shame game of trying to run and hide and act out in secret. A few mentioned early in this episode:  Everybody who is an addict is non-functional - cannot hold down a job or a family.Don’t let ANYBODY know because it is the worst thing you can be doing - my kids can’t play with other people’s kids anymore.Once an addict, always an addict … The husband is a villain, the wife is a victim. Listen to this episode...

My name is Hunter and this is my story. From the outside, my life seemed to be on a perfect track for success and happiness. I grew up with two parents in a loving and loyal family. I was a talented young man who especially did well in school. All of the adults around me felt that I had a bright future ahead of me in basically any career that I could want. My peers all saw me as simply another kid who was goofy and got good grades. But on the inside, I had a pain that I couldn't even fully...

“When I watched porn again or relapsed, I felt God was done with me now … but Jesus fully sees me and fully knows my whole story, and still loves me. That is so powerful.”  Amanda stumbled on pornography at an early age. Thinking she was alone in her addiction she finally decided to share it with a friend - willing to accept rejection - only to discover that her friend Katie struggles too. Along their journey they found other women similarly struggling and so they decided to start an...

Matthew and Brooklyn brought both honesty and baggage into their relationship. Brooklyn’s achievement-based upbringing coupled with past mistakes left her wrestling with her sense of self-worth. Matthew's addiction to pornography led to a struggle with comparisons that cast a shadow of pain and darkness over the early years of their marriage. Despite it all, their story is a heartwarming journey from light to darkness and on to redemption and deepening love. It’s full of God, good advice and...

The UU crew get together to wrap up the year and answer the following questions: What has been your favorite episode this past year and why?What has been an area of growth for you this past year ?If people can pray for you what do you need most?What has been a meaningful worship song for you this past year? As our gift to you, here is the song list from the UU team of their top 2023 “go to” tune: Hurt People Hurt People – Tim McGraw Holy Spirit, Come – Patrick Maybury Rattle – Elevation...

“A relationship with a healer cannot exist without a wound to heal. Telling Jesus to go and heal another because ‘I’m good’ doesn’t allow Christ room to heal your heart and deepen a relationship with Him.” Kurt shares his story of struggling in constantly seeking validation. He got an early massive dose of feeling good enough when he was called to be a bishop/pastor in church in his twenties and then continued to ascend up in leadership responsibilities. For him, his “lightbulb moment came...

Physically, emotionally, and sexually abused as a child, Pete tried to navigate through shame, anger, and confusion alone while self-medicating with many things, but especially with an addiction to lust. Constant cycles of confession and relapse didn’t help, but getting a deeper relationship with Jesus Christ and multiple bands of brothers have helped him find the path to hope and healing. Through reaching up and reaching out, Pete’s story magnifies God’s glory.  Do you have a story you are...

Anita Anita used to avoid looking at herself in the mirror to hide from deep feelings of shame and brokenness. Life started out rough for her and led to years of drug and sex addiction, abortion and an affair. Today though, she looks in the mirror and feels joy and is cherished by God. In this episode, she shares the story of her transformation: a journey from being broken, to being healed through Jesus and into a life of joyful service to other broken women. Steve sums up the episode with...

“We are only standing where we are because of Jesus.” - Kylie  Wife of a pastor and worship leader, Kylie felt alone in her sex addiction which began in her late teens around the same time of her parent’s divorce. Her husband Chris had his own struggles with substance abuse and other addictions. Together they struggled to juggle an exterior life of ministering while internally battling their secret lives. Now unashamed and unafraid they are working on their recovery and sharing their story...