Ambition Without Compromise Monique R. Shields

In this episode, we explore the intricate web of trauma, perfectionism and high achievement with Andrea Michel. 
As a developmental psychologist, trauma-sensitive leadership coach, and former corporate badass, Andrea peels back the layers of what it means to be a high achiever, how our childhood traumas shape our professional lives, and the subtle yet significant distinction between burnout and trauma responses in the workplace. She offers a compassionate lens through which to view our inner perfectionist – not as something to be vanquished, but as a part of ourselves that requires understanding and, if we choose, healing.


Whether you're a leader seeking to create a trauma-sensitive environment or an individual ready to confront the roots of your perfectionism, Andrea's expertise will guide you toward a path of self-awareness and empowerment. Press play to join the conversation.


Some key points discussed in this episode include:
Understanding decision-makingHigh-functioning behavior, overachievement, and childhood traumaParenting and traumaForming relationships based solely on achievementSelf-awareness and HealingDifferentiating burnout and trauma response GEMS DROPPED
“Simply ​put, ​trauma ​is ​any ​experience ​or ​any ​event that ​overwhelms ​our ​internal ​resources. ​​And ​when ​we ​feel ​out ​of ​control ​of ​a ​situation. So ​in ​other ​words, ​trauma ​is ​anything ​that ​happens ​to ​us ​where ​we ​feel ​like ​we ​have ​no ​control ​over ​the ​situation ​and ​we're ​basically ​stressed ​out ​to ​the ​max. And ​so ​I ​like ​to ​say, ​when ​we ​think ​about ​trauma, ​there ​is the ​event, ​there ​the ​experience, ​and ​then ​there ​is the ​expectations. ​So ​the ​event ​is ​the ​thing ​that ​happens, the ​experience ​is ​how ​we ​interpret ​that ​thing ​that ​happened and ​then ​the ​expectation ​is ​how ​do ​others ​around ​us ​respond ​to ​that ​situation.” - Andrea Michel
“What ​I ​come ​into ​contact ​with, ​even ​with ​some ​​clients ​in ​session, ​sometime ​we're ​asking, ​like, ​where ​does ​that ​come ​from? ​Why ​is ​that ​showing ​up? ​Why ​is ​that ​happening? ​What ​was ​that ​about? ​But ​we ​can't ​take ​it ​much ​further. ​And ​I ​just ​feel ​like ​sometimes ​it's ​just ​another ​reminder ​that ​you ​can't ​really ​do ​this ​alone. ​You ​can, ​many ​times ​only ​get ​yourself ​so ​far, because ​we ​can't ​see ​outside. ​We ​can't ​see ​outside ​of ​how ​we ​see.” - Monique R. Shields


“We ​have ​to ​unburden ​ourselves ​of ​things ​that ​we ​ultimately ​cannot ​control ​and ​we're ​not ​supposed ​to ​anyway.” - Monique R. Shields

“If ​you ​want ​to ​stop ​repeating the same ​cycle, ​you ​have ​to ​heal ​the ​trauma.” - Andrea Michel

MENTIONED
EP. 14 Spiritual Knowing and Self-Integrity with Josie Rosario 

GUEST LINKS
Learn more about Andrea Michel | Website | The ​Global ​Center ​for Trauma | Private Coaching 


STAY IN TOUCH
Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com.

Are you waiting for the perfect moment to make a change? 
In this episode, I am shattering the illusion of the "magical right time" that so many of us are waiting for. The truth is, that moment when you feel entirely ready, when everything is in place, and when you've done enough—it's a myth. It's never coming. The right time is now.


Join me as I dive into the language of limitation and how phrases like "I just need to..." can trap us in a cycle of perpetual preparation, holding us back from stepping boldly into the life we're meant to live, without compromise. I also challenge the narrative that familiarity equals safety and explore the power of tapping into the unbridled strength of our younger selves to fuel our courage for change. 


Press play and let's explore what it means to live freely and authentically, and how to back it into a plan that propels us forward.


GEMS DROPPED
“This ​magical ​right ​time, ​​the ​time ​when ​you ​feel  ​ready, ​when ​things ​are ​in ​place, ​when ​you ​have ​done ​enough, ​when ​you ​have ​prepared ​enough, ​and ​you ​know ​that ​this ​is ​up ​for ​you, ​that ​this ​is ​a ​challenge ​for ​you ​right ​now… ​The ​whole ​thing ​is ​a ​trick.”


“When ​you ​keep ​saying ​stuff ​like, ​well, ​I ​just ​have ​to ​think ​about, ​or ​I ​just ​have ​to ​decide, ​or ​​I've ​got ​to ​give ​some ​more ​thought ​to … ​I ​need ​to ​do ​some ​preparation… ​I ​just. ​I ​just. ​I ​just. ​I ​just. y'all. ​This ​is ​all ​danger language. ​Danger, ​danger, ​danger, ​danger, ​language. ​We ​start ​backing ​ourselves ​into ​deep ​limitation ​​because ​we ​are ​fearful ​of ​giving ​ourselves ​permission ​to ​be ​specific ​about ​what ​it ​is ​that ​we ​truly ​want.”


“​I ​recognize ​that ​in ​order ​for ​this ​next ​part ​of ​me, ​this ​next ​phase ​to ​come ​to ​fruition, ​for ​that ​to ​happen, ​I'm ​gonna ​have ​to ​relinquish ​the ​reins. ​I'm ​gonna ​have ​to ​let ​this ​other ​part ​of ​me, ​this ​free ​and ​creative ​and ​open, ​this ​vulnerable ​part ​of ​me, come ​up ​to ​the ​driver's ​seat ​​and ​I ​might ​have ​to ​get ​in ​the ​back, ​I ​might ​have ​to ​get ​in ​the ​trunk ​at ​some ​point. ​That ​feels ​so ​risky. ​It ​feels ​so, ​so ​risky ​internally.”


“We ​disconnect ​from ​that ​part ​of ​ourselves. ​We ​leave ​those, ​air ​quote, ‘​childish ​things’ ​behind ​and ​we ​get ​serious ​about ​life ​and ​we ​put ​on ​new ​coping ​skills ​and ​different ​things ​toughen ​us ​up ​and ​rough ​us ​up, ​and ​we ​forget ​that ​that ​wild ​and ​free ​little ​version ​of ​us, ​has ​so ​much ​power.”


“​I ​hope ​that ​if ​you ​are ​sitting ​in ​stagnation ​and ​not ​realizing, ​I ​hope ​that ​if ​you ​are ​sitting ​in, ​‘I ​need ​to ​wait ​for ​the ​right ​time’, ​or ‘​I ​just ​need ​to ​think ​through. ​I ​just ​need ​to ​figure ​out,’ ​or ‘​I ​just ​need ​to, ​you ​know, ​shore ​up ​x, ​y ​and ​z,’ ​that ​you ​bust ​down ​those ​walls ​and ​get ​real ​with ​the ​truth ​of ​what's ​going ​on ​here, ​which ​is ​​knowing ​that ​you ​don't ​have ​to ​cling ​to ​what's ​familiar ​and ​that ​you're ​not ​going ​to ​find ​your ​freedom. ​Your ​salvation ​will ​not ​come ​from ​this ​place.  ​You ​have ​everything ​you ​need ​t

In this episode, I'm tackling a question that is rattling around the corridors of the minds of us highest achievers: "When will it ever be enough?" It's a relentless echo that reverberates in the silence left by our latest triumphs, a whisper that lingers even as we scale the peaks of what I’m calling “Money Mountain” with the weight of the world on our shoulders.
For those who've pushed themselves to the brink, who've crafted empires with their bare hands and sheer will, this episode is a soul-stirring examination of the unsustainable pace of success and the personal toll it exacts. We're pulling back the veil on the harsh truths behind burnout, the undercurrents of systemic pressures, and the personalization of collective dysfunctions that lead us to question our worth, our work, and our way forward.


Join me as we explore the deeper questions that should be guiding our pursuit of fulfillment. We'll navigate through the false narratives of entrepreneurship, the courage to be beginners in the public eye, and the vulnerability required to ask for what we truly want. Tune in and transform the way you approach your goals and your life.


MENTIONED
13 | Re-Mothering Ourselves
03 | What Are You Playing For? (CEO Series)


GEMS DROPPED
“In ​this ​quest ​to ​say, ​’Am ​I ​doing ​enough? ​​Is ​it ​enough? ​Have ​I ​ascertained ​enough? ​Have ​I ​done ​enough? ​Have ​I ​created ​enough?’ ​We're ​really ​searching ​for, ​’Will ​I ​ever ​be ​enough?’ That's ​the ​real ​question ​that ​runs ​beneath ​all ​of ​this, ​is, ​will ​I ​ever ​be ​enough?”


“We're ​asking ​ourselves ​at ​the ​end ​of ​the ​day, ​why ​am ​I ​not ​enough? ​Why ​am ​I ​not ​rising ​to ​the ​occasion? ​Why ​is ​this ​wearing ​me ​out? ​Why ​am ​I ​having ​these ​emotional ​reactions ​and ​responses? ​Why ​am ​I ​being ​a ​fucking ​human ​being? ​We're ​punishing ​ourselves ​for ​our ​basic ​needs, ​and ​it's ​wrong. ​​It ​is ​wrong. ​It ​is ​misguided. ​It ​is ​misdirected. ​So ​I ​want ​you ​to ​turn ​that ​energy ​into ​some ​better ​questions. I ​think a ​better ​question is ​’Am ​I ​fulfilled, ​well, and whole?’“


“That ​moment ​where ​the ​decision ​is ​available ​to ​you, ​it ​can ​feel ​like ​you ​don't ​have ​a ​choice. ​And ​we ​always ​have ​a ​choice. ​We ​always ​have ​a ​choice.”


“At ​a ​certain ​point, ​money ​no ​longer ​delivers. ​There's ​no ​return ​on ​that ​investment emotionally. Once ​you ​get ​past ​a ​certain ​level ​it ​caps ​out ​and ​you're ​not ​going ​to ​get ​any ​more ​enjoyment, ​fulfillment, ​happiness, ​even ​delight. ​All ​of ​that ​just ​falls ​flat. ​And ​so, ​well, ​what ​are ​you ​even ​playing ​for? “


“There ​really ​is ​no ​enoughness that's ​going ​to ​truly ​satisfy ​you…the ​feeling ​that ​you're ​actually ​seeking ​to ​​meet, ​which ​is ​fulfillment. ​If ​fulfillment ​is ​what's ​lacking, ​​none ​of ​this ​other ​stuff ​even ​matters. ​And ​I ​think ​that ​that's ​what ​we ​end ​up ​getting ​ourselves ​to ​when ​we ​first ​start ​asking ​this ​question. ​What's ​enough? ​You're ​enough. ​What ​do ​you ​want? ​Who ​do ​you ​want ​to ​be? ​Who ​you ​desire ​to ​be? ​Start ​there.”



STAY IN TOUCH
Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com. 

In today's episode, we celebrate the one-year anniversary of Ambition Without Compromise, a testament to the power of persistence and the beauty of evolution. Join me as I take a reflective journey down memory lane, recounting the origins of this podcast, born from a desire to connect authentically and serve a community of visionary women.
From the humble beginnings of voice memos sent out to a small circle of friends and family, to the robust, twice-monthly musings that reach an ever-growing audience, this journey has been one of learning, growth, and unwavering commitment to my vision. I delve into five key lessons learned along the way, from embracing imperfection to tuning into the data, and the importance of meeting ourselves where we are.


As we step into the next year of the show, I invite you to celebrate the milestones we've reached together and the space we've created for daring questions and honest answers. Whether you've been with me from the start or have recently joined our community, I hope you find inspiration in the realization that ambition does not have to be compromised when we listen, adapt, and serve with heart.


In honor of our anniversary, I ask for the gift of your feedback. Leave a review and share how this podcast has impacted your journey. Your words not only help others find this podcast but also guide the future of our conversations. Send me a DM or an email to let me know your thoughts, and together, let's step into another year of uncompromised ambition.


REQUEST
Share your anniversary well-wishes by leaving a rating and review for Ambition Without Compromise on Apple Podcast. Your engagement fuels this journey, and I can't wait to hear from you.


MENTIONED
13 | Re-Mothering Ourselves


GEMS DROPPED
“Perfection ​is ​not ​required ​to ​do ​the ​next ​thing ​that ​you're ​trying ​to ​do. ​I ​just ​want ​to ​remind ​you, ​if ​you ​don't ​already ​know, ​or ​if ​you ​know, ​that ​you're ​placing ​this ​undue ​pressure ​on ​yourself, ​that ​perfection ​is not ​required.”


“Sometimes ​it's ​not ​about ​you ​having ​said ​the ​perfect ​thing, ​​crafted ​the ​perfect ​positioning, ​​and ​language, ​and ​put ​all ​of ​this ​thought ​and ​science ​and ​art ​just ​melding ​together ​into ​this ​gorgeous ​piece ​of ​work. ​​Sometimes ​it's ​just ​the ​way ​you ​naturally ​say ​things. Someone ​else ​out ​in ​the ​world ​needed ​to ​hear ​it ​in ​that ​way. ​Someone's ​looking ​for YOU.”


“Sometimes ​we ​think ​we ​need ​to ​over ​prepare ​when ​it's ​like ​you ​are ​enough ​as ​you ​are, ​that ​your ​rawness ​is ​actually ​the ​best ​gift ​you ​can ​give ​people, ​for ​people ​to ​get ​a ​real ​taste ​of ​the ​essence ​of ​you.”


“You ​have ​everything ​you ​need ​to ​start, you ​just ​need ​to ​be ​creative. Just ​allow ​yourself ​to ​have ​the ​freedom ​to ​have ​like, ​a ​quick ​and ​easeful ​creative ​exploration. ​If ​you ​give ​yourself ​permission​ ​to ​be ​where ​you ​are ​and ​to ​listen ​to ​what ​exactly ​it ​is ​that ​you ​want.”


“Listen ​to ​the ​data ​to ​block ​out ​distraction. ​Most ​of ​the ​time, ​I ​think ​the ​distractions ​are ​like ​our ​insecurities, fears ​or ​doubts.”


STAY IN TOUCH
Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com.

In this heart-to-heart episode, I'm peeling back the curtain on my personal journey of self-investment and well-being. As I navigate the ebbs and flows of life, I've come to realize that to manifest the life I aspire to, I must over-invest in my well-being. Join me as I share the strategies and practices that are guiding me through 2024, from embracing the power of coaching to the subtle magic of herbal remedies and the transformative impact of environment organization.
I'll dive into the profound clarity that comes from addressing health and healing holistically, the importance of community and nurturing relationships, and the spiritual nourishment found in nature and the innocent play of children. This episode is an intimate exploration of how prioritizing ourselves can lead to attracting higher quality opportunities and achieving professional abundance with seemingly effortless grace.


Whether you need a nudge to take that first step towards self-care or you're seeking affirmation that your path of personal investment is valid, this episode is a gentle yet powerful reminder that when we take care of ourselves, the universe conspires to take care of everything else. Tune in to be inspired, to find permission, and perhaps, to make that life-changing decision for yourself. 


MENTIONED
25 | Avoiding The Real Work


GEMS DROPPED
"We'll sabotage what could be big for us. We'll sabotage what could be incredible and exciting for us because we know that we don't have it within us, energetically, emotionally, spiritually, physically, that we don't have it to rise to that occasion”.


“If you take care of yourself, the things you want get taken care of, too. So how can we aggressively take care of ourselves?”


“Listen to your body and respond”.


“Every time you walk past something in your house and you're like, I got to figure out where to put these things, or I've got to figure out how to make that work better. But you don't have the tools to do it, or you don't have the time to do it. You leak energy … It's a cognitive drain, and it's small. But we're walking through our spaces…the environments that we're existing in, that we're working in, that we're living in, and we're having these little moments of energy, of attention that are being drained away from us because we don't have a space that fully supports the humans living in it and the belongings that we have.”


“Stop tolerating discomfort with setting up these systems, adhering to systems that actually support your financial well being, because that has everything to do with how you feel energetically, emotionally in your day to day life.”


“When we don't feel alone in the paths that we're walking, the journeys that we're on, because we know someone else is holding space for us, someone else is thinking about us. Or we can reflect back on the inside joke that came out of the last time we spoke, or the vulnerable share, and we can hold space for that person outside of it. It's just so important.” 


“Once you leave the college and the grad school of it all, there are very few spaces that will forge that kind of bonding and connection because we don't have the same level of interconnected … intensity of a shared experience. Right? We have to create them”.


STAY IN TOUCH
Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com. 

Often, we tell ourselves that the key to expanding our leadership is merely becoming better at asking for help or refining our delegation skills. But what I've unearthed in my work as a coach to CEOs and leaders is that the challenge goes deeper than tactics and tips. It's not just about optimizing to-do lists or honing delegation strategies; there's a profound internal barrier between us and the help we seek.
Join me on this exploration of the struggle of asking for help and the complexities surrounding delegation. I’ll dig into the fears of appearing incompetent, needy, or even abusive when asking for help (especially as women and POC) .  I’m also dissecting the misconception that unlimited capacity equates to competence and pull back the covers on how shifting our perspective can transform our leadership dynamics. 

Press play to tune in as we peel back layers and challenge the narratives that may be holding us back from authentic and sustainable leadership.


GEMS DROPPED
"What I am constantly finding is that it's not about the tactics, it's not about the tips, it's not about the tricks, it's not about optimizing your to-do list, not at least at first. That's not the first step. There's something that runs much deeper within us around what feels like a barrier between us and the help that we want to better leverage”.


“Building this skill, building confidence and comfort, around asking for help, employing help, receiving help, it's gonna be make or break for whatever it is that you're trying to build. It creates a ceiling immediately if you can't move through this and expand and grow this part of yourself.”


“I think women and people of color, we can carry a great deal of undue pressure on our leadership design… that maybe makes us account for too many variables. Trying to hold too many things, and maybe not always the things that matter the most.”


“There is a level of thoughtfulness that we try to bring to our own leadership, to not repeat and not recreate a culture around reckless and uncaring delegation, and I think that there's a weight to that intent that we carry around …being better, trying to be more thoughtful… that just adds another layer of pressure to what it means to ask for help, what it means to delegate or to set expectations for someone else… what it means to be responsible when you are occupying a position of a great deal more power within a power dynamic, trying to be respectful and responsive to that.”


“You're wanting to make sure that basically, the team knows that you can handle hard shit, that the team knows that you have horsepower, that they can believe in your work ethic, and your ability to handle things… but what's happening, because you have such a focus on this, on proving to this team, appearing to this team that you have what it takes, and essentially, that you are strong, is that you are conflating capacity with competence. Meaning, you’re trying as hard as you can to always appear competent through how infinite your capacity is, which it's not.”  


“When we're focused on, I just need to be the strong one that's getting all the things done, we don't create space for relationships and for what really needs to be invested in here.” 


STAY IN TOUCH
Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com.