Episodes
Special guest professor Dr. Traci Baxley joins the Ask Lisa podcast. She is the author of Social Justice Parenting: How to Raise Compassionate, Anti-racist, Justice-minded Kids in an Unjust World. Dr. Baxley talks with Dr. Lisa and Reena about why it matters to raise caring, socially conscious kids - and how to do so. This episode unpacks the difference between compassion, empathy, and kindness and tackles questions from listeners including: How do you get siblings to be compassionate with...
Published 11/07/23
Parents can feel worried when their teen first starts driving or riding around in friends’ cars. What can parents do to help teens stay safe behind the wheel? What rules should be put in place and how well do those rules work? Dr. Lisa and Reena answer these questions and more while also addressing graduated drivers’ license laws and the part they play in reducing accidents among young drivers. Follow and subscribe to our new YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes:...
Published 10/31/23
A parent writes in about a middle schooler's intense emotional swings which leave the parent feeling uncertain about how to respond. Dr. Lisa and Reena dive into the psychology of these rollercoaster emotions, discuss whether this behavior is typical at this age, and address how parents can strike the delicate balance of offering support without amplifying the mood swings. Dr. Lisa also explains how parents and caregivers can know when they are looking at typical emotional growing pains and...
Published 10/24/23
A mother writes in asking how to protect her teen from a controlling and degrading relationship. Dr. Lisa and Reena discuss the nature of unhealthy relationships and how and when adults should intervene. Reena asks how parents can recognize the early signs of a harmful connection. Lisa explains how thoughtful people can find themselves in bad relationships and why the stakes can be incredibly high for a teen's well-being. Dr. Lisa’s Resource Guide   The National Domestic Hotline -...
Published 10/17/23
So what’s really happening when kids go through puberty? Dr. Cara Natterson and Vanessa Bennett join the Ask Lisa podcast to talk about their new book This is So Awkward: Modern Puberty Explained. The conversation takes a deep dive into the research on puberty and tackles key questions: When does puberty start and end? Why do kids suddenly smell bad, and how do we help? What’s the best way to respond to teens’ surging hormones? How do we support late bloomers? And more! Lisa’s Book...
Published 10/10/23
Parents who need to be out of town for the weekend worry their 16-year-old son will throw a party while they’re away. They want to trust him but can’t shake the feeling that something is brewing. What should parents know about leaving teens home alone? And when should they worry? Dr. Lisa explains the potential consequences of allowing teens to host parties. Reena asks if it’s safer to have teens drinking at your home when adults are present. Their conversation also considers what parents...
Published 10/03/23
Dr. Lisa and Reena tackle two letters about the challenges of parenting teens with chronic health conditions. The first letter centers on addressing a teen’s sense of feeling “different” and asks what parents can do to prevent social isolation. The second letter asks how parents and caregivers can stay out of a power struggle with a teen who may not be following doctor’s orders. Dr. Lisa and Reena answer both questions and, in doing so, offer guidance that will resonate with any parent...
Published 09/26/23
A parent feels uncomfortable when her preteen daughter wears crop tops. She worries about the attention her daughter might receive, but also wonders if she's the one who's out of touch. Dr. Lisa and Reena address the complexities of setting boundaries around what kids wear and how to balance policing attire with allowing kids to express their own style. Reena asks what parents should do if they suspect that a child sneaks prohibited clothing to wear when they're out - and if clothing choices...
Published 09/19/23
What causes kids to struggle with perfectionism? Dr. Lisa explains why young people sometimes hold themselves to unsustainable standards and how adults can help them to set realistic goals. Reena asks how parents can counter the harmful self-talk that often accompanies perfectionism and when parents should worry that perfectionism could lead to depression. In an episode packed with practical strategies and sample language, Dr. Lisa and Reena address how to help kids take a balanced approach...
Published 09/12/23
A mother writes in about the fact that her teen son and his friends - who come from a mix of racial, religious, and socio-economic backgrounds - "jokingly" use slurs. Does she have the power to stop this? Dr. Lisa and Reena explore what's driving the rise in hateful language and what adults can do to address this hurtful behavior. Reena asks whether it's realistic for adults to think they can change the dynamics that unfold when teens are with their friends. Dr. Lisa offers advice on how to...
Published 09/05/23
U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy visits the Ask Lisa Podcast to talk about the public health crisis you might not know about: loneliness. He joins co-hosts Dr. Lisa and Reena for a wide-ranging conversation on parenting, being a Dad, access to mental health services, the harms of social media, and what big tech companies can do to help protect our kids online. The episode ends with Dr. Murthy asking Dr. Lisa a thought-provoking question about what parents need now. Surgeon General...
Published 08/29/23
Season four of the Ask Lisa podcast kicks off with a special guest, author and journalist Jennifer Breheny Wallace, who discusses her brand new book: “Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic - And What We Can Do About It.” Dr. Lisa, Reena, and Jennie address how achievement pressure harms kids and what parents can do to combat grind culture. They unpack research from Harvard and the London School of Economics to answer key questions: What do the kids who are thriving in high...
Published 08/22/23
Getting kids ready for the new school year can be a hard transition from summer. In this encore episode we look at helping teens manage their responsibilities during and after high school. Staying organized isn’t just about getting into college - it’s also about having the ability to operate independently. A parent writes in worried about a charming, but disorganized, son. Dr. Lisa explains what executive functioning skills are - and how to help kids build them. Dr. Lisa and Reena address...
Published 08/15/23
When should parents limit - or even forbid - the use of TikTok? Dr. Lisa and Reena take a deep dive into the upsides and downsides of social media and how the norms kids encounter in online environments can influence real-world behavior. The conversation sheds light on the algorithms that drive social media, what parents need to be on the lookout for, when it's time to worry, and what parents should do.  AVAILABLE NOW: The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available...
Published 08/08/23
Why do kids suddenly turn on friends and ice them out of a group? It’s something Dr. Lisa says she's been hearing about more often in recent months as kids need shared interests to hold their groups together, and that "social glue" was depleted by the pandemic. We take a look at how this negative behavior can emerge in friend groups and quickly become destructive. Reena asks if adults should call out mean behavior or reach out to other parents when social groups turn sour. Dr. Lisa covers...
Published 08/01/23
It’s easy to track kids using cell phone technology. But is it a good idea to do so? Today's technology allows us to know a lot more about our kids than our parents ever knew about us. While parents might track their teens for supervision and safety reasons, teens often long for more independence and privacy than tracking allows. Dr. Lisa explains why this tension is an expectable, healthy part of adolescent development and unpacks two key questions: What, exactly, does tracking accomplish?...
Published 07/25/23
What are the signs of a gaming addiction? It’s easy in the summer to have lax rules and allow more gaming and screen time. But when does gaming cross the line into being too much? A mom writes in worried about her son who used gaming to connect with friends during the pandemic but now games alone while his friends spend time together in person. Dr. Lisa unpacks the research on gaming hazards and addiction, as well as some unexpected benefits of gaming. Reena gets answers to key questions:...
Published 07/18/23
Three time Olympian and Mom of three, Lauren Regula explains how we can all better manage the stresses of school sports. What do you really need to know when raising an athlete. I was surprised by the one question she asks her kids every night at the dinner table. We’ve started asking the same question in our home. We hope you’ll enjoy this encore presentation.  AVAILABLE NOW: The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.com and everywhere books are...
Published 07/11/23
How can we help our kids understand justice and fairness? Special Guest Preet Bharara, a former U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of New York, joins the Ask Lisa Podcast to discuss his children’s book, Justice Is… A Guide for Young Truth Seekers. Who are the history makers our children should know about? Dr. Lisa and Reena feel that there’s no better guest than Preet for this 4th of July encore episode.  AVAILABLE NOW: The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available...
Published 07/04/23
What’s the right age to give a kid a smartphone? There’s no simple answer to this question, but guidelines we can bear in mind when kids - at increasingly young ages - ask for one. In this encore episode Dr. Lisa explains what to consider, and the conversations to have before and after you give your child a phone. AVAILABLE NOW: The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.com and everywhere books are sold. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and...
Published 06/23/23
Schools out! Now what? Dr. Lisa and Reena take a look back at the highlights of Season Three - from key topics to informative guests to the launch of Lisa’s new book, The Emotional Lives of Teenagers. Their conversation covers what Lisa hopes parents will focus on now, the launch date for Season Four, and the upcoming episodes for the summer.  AVAILABLE NOW: The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.com and everywhere books are sold. Follow us on...
Published 06/13/23
While summer is a great time to be more laid back, a parent writes in asking whether kids should really have less structure in the summer. Dr. Lisa and Reena talk through key questions parents face once the school year ends: What's a reasonable bedtime - and how much sleep should kids be getting? What's fair to expect in terms of chores? And how much time should kids spend with digital devices, especially in light of the new, worrisome report from the U.S. Surgeon General? Their conversation...
Published 06/06/23
It can be hard to get your kids to be self-starters. How do we motivate kids to do the things they don't want to do? Dr. Lisa explains that there are times in parenting when offering encouragement and reminders just doesn't work. So can bribing your kids be a winning strategy for things like getting better grades? Dr. Lisa and Reena discuss motivation and rewards. What really works to get kids motivated? This is an encore episode that originally ran at the beginning of 2022 during the...
Published 05/30/23
With online betting now legal in most states, sports coverage is increasingly saturated with commentary focussed on betting and ads for gambling apps. Teens are noticing - and some of them are getting in on the action. It's increasingly easy and common for teens to bet on sports and, at times, to lose large sums of money. Dr. Lisa and Reena address how teens find ways to place bets, why they want to, and what parents and caregivers need to know if they have a teen who might be interested in...
Published 05/23/23
Why are kids mean to their siblings? Dr. Lisa unpacks the dynamics behind sibling conflict and takes us inside the mind of older siblings. The conversation addresses why the onset of puberty makes it hard for kids to control their emotions, gendered dynamics, and how to steer clear of shame when one child hurts another. Dr. Lisa offers guidance on what parents can do - both in the moment and after the fact - to prevent lasting harm. AVAILABLE NOW: The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa...
Published 05/16/23