Booze and B-Movies Booze and B-Movies

Some nut with a weird imagination gets all excited when the Winnie the Pooh classic hits the public domain and decides he needs to make a scary "what if" out of it.

Being abandoned by Christopher Robin drives Pooh and Piglet to uncontrollable violent rage. Young women have a girls' getaway in the woods. Paths cross. You can probably guess the rest.

Not a bad idea, but the execution misses. Poor writing and acting don't make you care about the characters. Repetitive, formulaic violence gets boring after a while. To be fair, an honest attempt on the budget available. It just doesn't do any one thing well. It was better than expected, based on the reviews, though. Maybe check it out if you're intrigued, but you probably won't watch it twice.

Winnie the Pooh Blood & Honey Final Grades

Steve: A good idea that missed the mark. Maybe after learning something here and getting a bigger budget for a planned sequel, they can put out a better product next time. 1.78/5

Brandon Couldn't hear things. Couldn't see things. Why don't British people speak English? This movie is like Pooh in your pool or Pooh in your treehouse or finding Pooh in your living room. Pooh. 1.59/5

Cocktail of the Week:
The Bees Knees, two ways

Steve gets gin, Brandon gets tequila

2 oz Gin or Tequila

1 oz Honey Syrup (50/50 Honey:Water)

3/4 oz Fresh-squeezed Lemon Juice

A couple dashes Angostura Bitters for the Tequila version

Shake the ingredients in a cocktail shaker and strain over ice in a rocks glass. Garnish with a lemon peel.

Cocktail Grade: Two very good cocktails. The tequila version with the bitters has a little better flavor profile than the gin version that is a little sweeter. Both of them are great if you've got a scratchy throat. It's just delicious cough syrup, really. Highly recommended for any sick days.

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A Schwarzenegger-style action movie with more goofiness and fewer steroids. Fictional countries are at odds. One of them hires the Megaforce, a band of skilled, highly-armed mercenaries to handle their dirty work for them. Plans go awry. The Expendables meets Spies Like Us.

Silly, unrealistic effects, like a flying motorcycle with 7" wings with no more flight controls than one man's hopes and dreams. Sweet dune buggies. Repurposed Death Cycles from Deathsport. More rockets than an eight-year-old boy could dream of. The old guy from Knight Rider. What more could you ask for?

A charming offering from the 80s. But what is intentionally campy or did it just miss the mark on a real action movie? Who knows? Doesn't matter anyway. The good guys win, even in the 80s. 'Merica.

Megaforce Final Grades

Steve: An above average addition to the subgenre. Dad jokes abound. Sweet dune buggies. 3/5

Brandon These silly 80s goofball action movies are finding a special place in this movie watcher's heart. This one was a little more family-friendly than the Roger Corman flicks of a similar style, meaning...less boobs. The motorcycles are painted like tigers. 3.57/5

Cocktail of the Week:
The Freedom Martini

2 oz Vodka

1/2 oz Raspberry Liqueur

1 1/2 oz Pineapple Juice

Shake ingredients in a martini shaker. Strain into frosted martini glasses.

Cocktail Grade: A fine little martini option. Good flavors, not too sweet. Maybe a hint of caramel on the back end, unless that's just the effect of using a 20-year-old bottle of liqueur?

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A low-budget warm-up to Aliens. A rescue party is sent to investigate a crashed vessel. Tentacles keep popping out of places. An unseen force kills off the the landing party one-by-one, using their greatest fears against them. It's a pyramid, just like the ones in Egypt. Coincidence?

If you've ever read Sphere by Michael Crichton or watched the movie adaptation, you kinda get the idea.

The guy who plays Freddy Krueger doesn't get killed, but also doesn't make it to the end of the movie. WHERE DID HE GO??

Galaxy of Terror Final Grades

Steve: James Cameron works magic on a Roger Corman budget. A likeable movie with better set dressing, costumes, direction and production than Ol' Rog usually gets. 4.2897/5

Brandon A not-as-scary space thriller. Missing a bit of psychological aspect that could have made up for a evil creature/force that's barely on camera. But, overall, a pretty good movie. Mostly a fun watch. 4/5

Cocktail of the Week:
Trader Steve's Lemon Gin Refresher

1 1/2 oz Old Tom Gin

3/4 oz Limoncello

1/2 oz Fresh-Squeezed Lemon Juice

Trader Joe's Lemon & Ginger Seltzer

Pour the gin, limoncello, and lemon juice in a Collins glass over ice. Stir to combine and top with the seltzer.

Cocktail Grade: A very refreshing spin on the classic Collins. Good flavor. Easy to drink. Makes you happy. 5/5

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Off to Scotland this week.

Four secondary school students (two delinquents, one street-tough poseur rapper wanna-be, and a diligent hardworker) are set off in the wilderness on the Duke of Edinburgh Award program. One of them wants to do a good job to pad his CV, the other three want to screw around and get high. You may be familiar with the setup.

The four soon find themselves in the crosshairs of an upper crust psycho whose annual sport is to kill the ne'er-do'wells who are sent out on this expedition. Hallucinogenic rabbit feces. Wackiness ensues. Social commentaries are made.

The movie has a hard time mixing the "psychological thriller" genre with the "goofball comedy" genre and end up offering a fairly inoffensive product. It is entertaining, though.

Get Duked Final Grades

Steve: Another middle of the road movie. It's a reasonable movie to watch, so don't avoid it, but there's nothing particularly noteworthy about it. Relatively family friendly. Calling this a "horror" movie is a stretch. 3/5

Brandon One of a handful of movies that don't stir a strong reaction for or against. Production quality is good. If the sense of humor in this movie suits you, you'll enjoy it. 3/5

Cocktail of the Week:
Rusty Nail

2 2/3 oz Scotch Whisky

1 1/3 oz Drambuie

Cocktail Grade: Essentially a Scottish Old Fashioned. Whiskey base and the Drambuie serves as a sort of Old Fashioned Mix. There are different theories on how to proportion the cocktail, so do what you want. The Drambuie is pretty honey-heavy and very sweet, so perhaps go with a stronger whisky pour than we did. Still a 5/5. Easy to mix, easy to drink.

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What would you do if you had $2000 burning a hole in your pocket, access to a university office building for a few hours, and eight friends who all had nothing better to do at the same time? Probably make a movie better than this.

Glenn Berggoetz is a magician who, through persuasion or spiked drinks, convinces a few other people to spend a beautiful, sunny Colorado day "filming" a travesty that he wrote, directed and produced. With all the hiking, cycling, and craft breweries within a short drive of the Metropolitan State University of Denver, there were a plethora of better options to waste an afternoon.

Glenn Berggoetz plays an English professor who "fights" bad guys. "Writing" that only amuse Glenn. Glenn wins. Society loses.

To Die Is Hard Final Grades

Steve: Always looking for silver linings, "Eternal Optimist" Steve says Glenn deserves some credit for production value, and praises the movie for being well lit and audible. But, he also didn't actively watch most of it. Bottom shelf.

Brandon would gladly be in a future Glenn Berggoetz production if he films another one within three kilometers of his house. Agreement all around that the movie featured good lighting and sound quality, but would have preferred if the movie could be neither seen nor heard. Bottom shelf.

Cocktail of the Week:
Wisconsin Old Fashioned

2 oz Brandy

Orange slice

Maraschino Cherries

A sugar cube

Lemon-lime soda

Muddle orange slice, cherries and sugar in a rocks glass. Add brandy quantity of your preference. Stir to combine. Top with your favorite lemon-lime soda. Garnish with additional orange wedge, more cherries and some of that sweet, sweet "cherry juice." Call your health care provider's scheduling line and make an appointment to get your A1C checked.

Cocktail Grade: A sugar bomb that will have the ghost of Wilford Brimley haunting your nightmares. But you know what, screw that guy. The residents and supper clubs of the Great State of Wisconsin know better. A+++++++

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Close your eyes and picture the 1980s. Well, don't close them because you have to keep reading. What do you see and hear? Aquanet? Bangs? A magazine hidden under a teenage boy's bed? High-pitched male vocals? Nunchucks?

Playboy Playmates...I mean Angels...I mean highly-skilled operatives of "The Agency" take down a presumably-notorious Kingpin. It's not paradise all the time. Unfortunately, investigation isn't LETHAL's strong suit, so we never really have any dots connected. But this movie is jam-packed with what The Agency does specialize in, explosions, gun fights, bikinis and boobs.

Hard Ticket Final Grades

Steve: Mid-Tier, middle of the road, perfectly average. Excellent soundtrack. Watchable. 50%

Brandon found a certain charm in the 1980s nostalgia and he has a soft spot for blow-up dolls that blow up and a toilet snake that can only be killed by a bazooka round to the face. Above average. 69%

Cocktail of the Week:
Tom Collins

2 ounce Old Tom Gin

1 ounce fresh-squeezed lemon juice.

1 rich simple syrup

Combine/shake ingredients in a cocktail shaker with ice. Strain, over ice, into tall/Collins glass. Top with Club Soda. Garnish with a lemon wheel and some Luxardo cherries.

An all-time classic. Tastes like summer.

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