Chronic Wellness Annette Leonard

Sleep is the foundation for everything! I’m Annette Leonard of https://www.annetteleonard.com find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theannetteleonard

If you're watching this on video you can see I'm wearing my dark shades -- that means my migraine is off the charts. Part of the reason is that my sleep is gone to s*it. If you're tracking, you'll also notice I haven't dropped an episode in a couple of weeks and that's down to the same reason.

We are the proud parents of (1:05) a 14 year old pit-mix rescue. She is entering a phase of old age (senility, deafness, etc.) that is wreaking havoc on our sleep. There are a variety of things at play from her trying to get into our bed, her deafness, and her incontinence that are having significant impact on our sleep. This has been building up for the last couple of months, but now our sleep is being interrupted multiple times a night, every night. I can't solve this simply.

Several things are happening because of this a) without a solid chunk of sleep every night, my migraines don't get a chance to reset so I'm starting at a worse place when I wake up; b) my physical pain is worse for the same reason; 3) my mind is mush brain fog and thoughts are so muddled I can't track anything; 4?) keeping up on what I need to follow up on as a professional patient or any extras in life are just shot; and.... I forgot the last thing.

Sleep is integral. Do I need to go to friends houses and sleep for a couple of nights? Do I need to sleep in our camper van for a few nights? There's a reason we use sleep deprivation for a mechanism of torture.

I acknowledge that I'm laughing right now and this isn't funny. I'm doing that out of discomfort and to put you at ease -- I'd like to have a good cry about this. However, crying takes a lot of oxygen and makes my head hurt worse. This has reduced me to tears. This had made me a jerk to live with.

The dog has not responded well to drugs and I can't find a drug strong enough to keep me asleep. We'll have to find some workable solution until the end of one of our days.

Do you have ideas about what to do when you aren't getting much sleep?

Also, every couple of weeks I'm hosting a Chronic Wellness Conversation on IG Live with authors, thought leaders, and sick people. Go check out those recordings on my Instagram. Talk to you when I get some sleep.

This is the Chronic Wellness Podcast. I'm Annette Leonard, speaker, coach, and sick person who believes that my illnesses do not define me. If health is the absence of disease and wellness is the presence of wholeness, then no matter what your disease status, we can work toward your wellness, your wholeness.

Whether or not you are ever "healthy" on paper, you can be well. Join me and others on the path back to wholeness at AnnetteLeonard.com. Whether you are a person experiencing chronic illness or are someone who loves or serves people with chronic illness I have great resources here on this channel or on my website for you.

Searching for joy? I’m Annette Leonard of https://www.annetteleonard.com find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theannetteleonard

I was recently reading about what to do if you've lost your happy. This is not specifically related to depression, which requires more specialized tools and perhaps deeper interventions. This is more about fleeting joy and temperamental stuff.

The suggestion was look your happiness the same way you'd look for your keys. "where did you last see it?" When was I last joyful? When did I last experience happiness? And mine those experiences for cues and clues for how to recreate it.

Were there things about the environment, the people, the things you were surrounded by or what you were doing that you aren't doing today? Perhaps you can't replicate the situation, but you might be able to dig into the experiences to find some of the paths back to happiness. No, all of the circumstances may not be available (because of situation, money, or our bodies) but some of conditions might be able to be recreated. Also, our brains like puzzles.

It's easy to think of all the reasons I CAN'T and I'm shortchanging myself I I'm not willing to dig a little deeper to seek out my own happiness. How can I take steps towards my own bliss?

How have you brought in more light or happiness?

This is the Chronic Wellness Podcast. I'm Annette Leonard, speaker, coach, and sick person who believes that my illnesses do not define me. If health is the absence of disease and wellness is the presence of wholeness, then no matter what your disease status, we can work toward your wellness, your wholeness.

Whether or not you are ever "healthy" on paper, you can be well. Join me and others on the path back to wholeness at AnnetteLeonard.com. Whether you are a person experiencing chronic illness or are someone who loves or serves people with chronic illness I have great resources here on this channel or on my website for you.

Colonoscopy and autoimmune disease? I’m Annette Leonard of https://www.annetteleonard.com find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theannetteleonard

Do you have an autoimmune disease and you're getting a colonoscopy? Consult your physician and take their advice, not mine. However, I have a lot of experience so let's get into that.
In advance of the colonoscopy, prep in advance for food. You'll get detailed instructions about what to eat. The instructions are daunting. At the very end your diet will be VERY limited. But keeping enough nutrients and calories is important. Prep, think in advance about what you'll need. Make sure you have broth, a way to get protein. For me I supplemented my clear liquids with collagen powder to get protein. Think about the quality of nutrients and shop ahead.

Also, as you go through the process, disclose all of your conditions and medications to your endoscopist. There may be some medications you have to stop in advance of the colonoscopy and they may need permissions from other specialists to stop those medications (like blood thinners or statins). So there are lots of layers to the process.

Many of us with autoimmune disease have mixed connective tissue disorders. Because of that (and Reynaud's) I have poor circulation and I'm frequently cold. I called ahead to the surgery center and told them that. In any medical center I tend to be freezing. Add to that IV liquids, being in a paper or hospital gown, and having fluids injected into my bowel, I'm going to be very cold. Find out about whether they have the bear hug suits available or just warm blankets. But let them know in advance you'll need extra warmth. I also charge and bring my hand warmers.

Maybe your veins are poor. Talk to the nurses about where the best place to access your veins are. If you have a port, let them know in advance so they can have a port nurse available. Also, you may have sensitivities to particular forms of anesthesia. If so, it's critical to let them know about that or any allergies to anesthesia in advance so they can appropriately medicate you.

Bowel prep kits often times cause nausea. You can ask for anti-nausea meds to be prescribed at the same time as your prep kit. It's lousy to be nauseous on top of prepping.

Managing multilayered conditions while prepping for a colonoscopy is difficult but possible. These kits are designed to keep us from getting dehydrated, but be careful to keep fluids going while you prepare. Ask lots of questions if you haven't been through this process before.

If you have tips and tricks for dealing with a colonoscopy, please leave those in the comments below.

This is the Chronic Wellness Podcast. I'm Annette Leonard, speaker, coach, and sick person who believes that my illnesses do not define me. If health is the absence of disease and wellness is the presence of wholeness, then no matter what your disease status, we can work toward your wellness, your wholeness.

Whether or not you are ever "healthy" on paper, you can be well. Join me and others on the path back to wholeness at AnnetteLeonard.com. Whether you are a person experiencing chronic illness or are someone who loves or serves people with chronic illness I have great resources here on this channel or on my website for you.

I’m Annette Leonard of https://www.annetteleonard.com find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theannetteleonard

I recently read Emily Henry's, "The People We Meet on Vacation." She did a great job putting to language the ways we are confident and insecure, and how relationships expose us to new layers of ourselves. In the book one of her characters said that the more someone got to know her, the more she was afraid they'd discover the ugly and unlovable in her.

I highlighted that passage and returned to it because I think that any of us who carry any shame or worthiness wounds -- that's what's at the heart of it. That when all the trappings are stripped away, we'll come up short and be rejected. That anxiety is often to difficult to bear and so we: hustle, people-please, distance, get addicted, hurt others first, and many more habits of self-defense.

What's also interesting about this is that it's a commentary on the other person, too. It suggests that I'm so skilled at maintaining a façade that you can't see through, but if you did you wouldn't like what you'd see... So it also suggests that the other person (whose opinion we seem to care a lot about) is dupable or dim.

Perhaps in a life without many obstacles, it might be easy to never have to examine these questions. However, chronic pain and illness stops you short and requires facing these kinds of questions.

This weekend I was talking with a friend of a friend who had a life-altering surgery. They're questioning things like "What is my worth?" "What is my value if I'm not in the world of work?" "Will my partner stay if I'm significantly transformed?" These aren't simple questions.

In a world where productivity is tied to output, it's difficult to not see that as a commentary on our worth. While it's so simple for me to see that YOU have intrinsic worth, your value is your existence, your value is your YOUNESS. But, it's much more difficult for me (on a hard day) to say it about myself -- but that is the goal.

Do you struggle with these questions?

This is the Chronic Wellness Podcast. I'm Annette Leonard, speaker, coach, and sick person who believes that my illnesses do not define me. If health is the absence of disease and wellness is the presence of wholeness, then no matter what your disease status, we can work toward your wellness, your wholeness.

Whether or not you are ever "healthy" on paper, you can be well. Join me and others on the path back to wholeness at AnnetteLeonard.com. Whether you are a person experiencing chronic illness or are someone who loves or serves people with chronic illness I have great resources here on this channel or on my website for you.

Can setting boundaries be life-saving? I’m Annette Leonard of https://www.annetteleonard.com find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theannetteleonard

$49 Boundary Course (through April 2024) https://jennywalters.thinkific.com/courses/boundary-uprising

A few more words about boundaries. With chronic illness boundaries are critical for our health. I recently read Dr. Pooja Laskhmin's best-selling book book "Real Self-Care." She examines the difference between what capitalism has told us "self-care" is and what is authentic self care. True self-care is 1) an inside job, 2) is values driven, 3) is a journey not a destination. Like so many things it is a practice.

In her book, she examines four ways we claim the sacred territory of self-care and boundaries is one of those avenues. Women, in particular, tend to be poor at setting boundaries. From our conditioning to put others first, to people-pleasing tendencies, to examples of martyrdom, boundaries are not something that comes easily for most of us.

However, when we are sick and our time and energy are so limited, boundaries are essential. One of my dear friends who is very healthy and active, is down from a recent surgery. I checked in with her this weekend. She's having a hard time slowing down. That isn't surprising. However, because she now has a month off, people are laying claim to her time. People are coming over in droves. She's feeling wiped out from the visits. She told me she's so depleted. I suggested that she needs to say "no," or set limits on how long people stay. She's having such a difficult time. I think that's so understandable.

When we are unaccustomed to setting limits with people in our lives, it's very difficult to start. The first reason is likely guilt, the second is something like not wanting to offend or inconvenience others.

When I was starting a new friendship years ago, my new friend told me: "Annette, I want to be closer to you, but I see you saying 'yes' to everyone and everything in your life." And I thought "yeah, because I'm a good friend!" and then she said: "until I see you saying 'no,' I can't trust your 'yes.'" That was a revelation to me! We need to be able to trust one another's "yeses" by knowing that they will say "no" when they need to. That will give me permission to do the same.

But when we accommodate, people-please, and guilt-trip, that isn't always what we were socialized to do. But, as Anne Lamott says "'No.' Is a complete sentence." and so is "I've changed my mind."

As the spring kicks off, maybe you can grow a new habit around boundaries. Please sign up for Jenny's class if you need a tune up in this area. Also, please use the comments to share your tips, tricks, and brags with the community about the ways you've set or improved your boundaries recently.

This is the Chronic Wellness Podcast. I'm Annette Leonard, speaker, coach, and sick person who believes that my illnesses do not define me. If health is the absence of disease and wellness is the presence of wholeness, then no matter what your disease status, we can work toward your wellness, your wholeness.

Whether or not you are ever "healthy" on paper, you can be well. Join me and others on the path back to wholeness at AnnetteLeonard.com. Whether you are a person experiencing chronic illness or are someone who loves or serves people with chronic illness I have great resources here on this channel or on my website for you.

Can setting boundaries be life-saving? I’m Annette Leonard of https://www.annetteleonard.com find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theannetteleonard

You know that I'm a big fan of Dr Gabor Mate. His book, "When the Body Says, 'No'" is a big part of why I'm still ALIVE today. That's a big claim and I really mean it. His work has transformed my life. If you've had cancer or an autoimmune disease, get this book. He talks about how our personalities, our family structures, our emotional tendencies, and our background have likely contributed to our illnesses. While this is not about blame, it is about getting to root causes and, therefore, solutions.

When we are back in the drivers seat, we can make different decisions.

The job of our emotional system is to help us self-regulate and to allow in all that is nurturing, generative, healthy, and loving. It is also designed to keep out all that is harmful, toxic, and poisonous. He draws a parallel between our emotional system and our immune system which fundamentally does the same job to keep in all that is nurishing, nurturing, feeds growth, and to keep out all that is toxic, harmful, poisonous, and leads to cell damage/demise.

For those of us with chronic illnesses learning to set boundaries is a necessity. Self-care means learning to prioritize our self and in doing so, we have to set boundaries. In Gabor Mate's new book "The Myth of Normal," he has an activity about what keeps us from setting the boundaries we need to set/want to set in our life.

The more often we examine, work our way through this activity, the greater potential for change we are given. It is four questions for us to respond to:
1) Where in your life are you not setting a boundary?
2) What is your belief behind not saying "no?"
3) Where did I learn this belief?
4) Who would I be without this belief?

The illusions we hold about why we stay stuck have an opportunity to fall away. Boundary work is self-care. We'll keep talking a bit more about boundaries and chronic illness.

Here's my challenge: brag on yourself! How are you setting boundaries? What did you learn from this activity? When did you say "no?" or any other aspect of boundary setting?

Because when we are sick and have any bit of the disease to please, setting boundaries for our own self-care is really challenging. So tell us all about it!