Approach the question of capability with awareness and connection. Look at your own awareness of what they'e capable of or struggling with. You may be doing too much, leaving you unaware of what they can truly do. Do mini-experiments when they want to do things, and collect data. Help them have an opportunity to succeed or fail. Foster connection by not being critical or having huge expectations. Try to help them with their own awareness -- without expecting that they'll do the same, tell them what you're working on, and what you've learned gets in your way.