THE THÉNARDIERS THE THÉNARDIERS- represent the lawless subculture of society. they own an Inn and cheat their customers. The novel portrays them as brutal and abusive figures; some adaptation transform them into buffoonish characters, to provide comic relief from the generally more serious tone of the story. Master of the house- at the Montfermeil inn [Mr.Thenardier:] Welcome, Monsieur, sit yourself down And meet the best innkeeper in town-As for the rest, all of them crooks: Rooking their guests and cooking the books-Seldom do you see Honest men like me- A gent of good intent -Who's content to be-Master of the house,doling out the charm  -Ready with a handshake and an open palm-Tells a saucy tale, makes a little stir -  Customers appreciate a bon-viveur-Glad to do me friends a favor Doesn't cost me to be nice-But nothing gets you nothing -Everything has got a little price!-Master of the house,- keeper of the zoo -Ready to relieve them of a sou or two-Watering the wine,- making up the weight -Picking up their knick-knacks when they can't -see straight -Everybody loves a landlord -Everybody's bosom friend -I do whatever pleases- Jesus! don't I bleed 'em in the end! [Mr. Thenardier &  the Drinkers:] Master of the house, quick to catch your eye-Never wants a passerby to pass him by-Servant to the poor, butler to the great-Comforter, philosopher, and lifelong mate!-Everybody's boon companion-Everybody's chaperone [Mr.Thenardier:] But lock up your valises-Jesus! Won't I skin you to the bone!-Enter Monsieur, lay down your load-Unlace your boots, rest from the road-This weighs a ton, travel's a curse-But here we strive to lighten your purse-Here the goose is cooked-Here the fat is fried-And nothing's overlooked-Till I'm satisfied-Food beyond compare.- Food beyond belief-Mix it in a mincer and pretend it's beef-Kidney of a horse, liver of a cat-Filling up the sausages with this and that-Residents are more than welcome-Bridal suite is occupied-Reasonable charges-Plus some little extra on the side!-Charge 'em for the lice, extra for the mice-Two percent for looking in the mirror twice-Here a little slice, there a little cut-Three percent for sleeping with the window shut-When it comes to fixing prices-There are a lot of tricks he knows-How it all increases, all them bits and pieces Jesus! It'samazing how it grows! [Mr.Thenardier]: Master of the house, quick to catch your eye-Never wants a passerby to pass him by-Servant to the poor, butler to the great-Comforter, philosopher, and lifelong mate!-Everybody's boon companion-Gives 'em everything he's got-Dirty bunch of geezers-Jesus! What a sorry little lot! [Mrs. Thenardier:] I used to dream that I would meet a prince-But God Almighty, have you seen what's happened since?-Master of the house? Isn't worth me spit!-Comforter, philosopher' and lifelong shit!-Cunning little brain, regular Voltaire-Thinks he's quite a lover but there's not much there-What a cruel trick of nature, landed me with such a louse-God knows ,how I've lasted living with this bastard in the house! [Mr.Thenardier & the  Drinkers:] Master of the house!- [Mrs. Thenardier:] Master and a half! -[Mr.Thenardier & the Drinkers:]-Comforter, philosopher [Mrs. Thenardier:]- Ah, don't make me laugh! []Mr.Thenardier & Drinkers:] Servant to the poor, butler to the great- [Mrs.. Thenardier:]-Hypocrite and toady and inebriate!- [Mr.Thenardier & Drinkers:] -Everybody bless the landlord!-Everybody bless his spouse! -Everybody raise a glass -[Mrs. Thenardier :] -Raise it up the master's arse -[All]- Everybody raise a glass to the Master of the House! Master of the house - Alun Armstrong, Jenny Galloway (Les Miserables 10th Anniversary Concert - Royal Albert Hall in London) --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app