Episodes
Remember when you used to race to get Dolly magazine the second it came out from the news agency?! First you’d rip the free blue eyeshadow off that was stuck to the cover, briefly pause to have a smell of the new impulse fragrance and then you’d go quickly to the Dolly doctor section! There you’d find questions about nipples, pubes and intimate smells... Well this is kind of the podcast version of that, except not really. Em and Michael are the Dilemma Doctors and they’re here to solve your...
Published 09/24/20
Before we start, you might like to secure your tray tables and tighten your seatbelt because Em has issued a warning that this episode is an emotion charged, passionate discussion filled edition of the podcast and you’re gonna need to strap your shit in. To begin with we discuss Ellen’s apology and it’s a full deep dive, we talk ALL of the things from the backlash and her outfit choice, to the way the audience was shown and what we think will happen next. Then it’s onto Dan Andrews and we...
Published 09/23/20
It’s reflection time as we begin this podcast, and that doesn’t mean we are looking at ourselves in the mirror, but obviously if we are, then LOOK at how fierce we look. Anyway the type of reflection we’re talking about is the sort that Em needs right now to help inspire her to keep getting out of bed during lockdown. She needs to look for the lessons learnt and the silver linings, it’s just how her brain functions. So we open this podcast with a chat about all the positive things that have...
Published 09/21/20
We first heard from Liz on the "Live from the Roadside" episode back in May. Liz sent Em and Scotty a message asking for some help when she went for a promotion. Fast forward to this week and Liz has sent in another message, and let's just say, things are looking up. Good on ya Liz!   See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information.
Published 09/17/20
Need some advice? In the intro for this episode, Em presents us with the idea of her upcoming advice segment, it’s kind of like that grand tradition of obsessively turning pages to get to the Dolly Doctor section, but without any page turning, or help from whoever the hell Dolly was, or even any Doctors. Basically Em and her bestie Michael are going to take on your dilemmas and offer up a world of thought provoking and thoroughly unique advice. Their speciality is petty stuff, with petty...
Published 09/16/20
We got a bunch of feedback from you over the last few days, so we’re using that to start things off in today's episode. Some of you lovely listeners have lamented the loss of Em’s opening monologue, where she normally talks about life, her thoughts and the such and such that's been floating around in her mind. So she addresses that to begin with, there’s also time to address some of Em and Michael’s diet talk from last week, some of you reached out to say they felt there was a bit of fat...
Published 09/14/20
After Em and Michael decided a new lockdown extension was the perfect time to re-commit to losing the extra weight they’ve added during the first two lockdowns, New Lockdown, New Us was born. So it makes sense for Em and Michael to begin this episode with a full rundown of their health journey so far. That journey got off to a rocky start with Em experiencing a teensy hiccup on night one, where she found herself secretly eating in bed at 11pm. She can totally justify it though, which she...
Published 09/09/20
Get ready for a very special toddler themed treat to kick things off, because there’s a lovely little performance of Elio’s good morning song at the beginning of this episode. That teensy little adorable munchkin of delight that is Elio just happened to be seated on his mother's lap as we began the show, so we now have the one and only recording of Em’s world famous good morning song for everyone to enjoy, so huzzah to that. That done it’s then onto a surprisingly optimistic chat between Em...
Published 09/07/20
In this episode, with Em and her hubby Scott celebrating their 20th anniversary during the week, Em and her bestie Michael will deep dive into a chat about long term relationships, covering everything from how they last, to the different attributes of Michaels relationship compared to Em’s relationship. Then it’s on to the new book about Melania Trump written by her ex best friend called ‘Melania and Me - The Rise and Fall of My Friendship with the First Lady’ which naturally leads to the...
Published 09/02/20
Let's start by saying that when I got the recorded explainer from Em for this episode, so I could actually write this description for you, I fully got to the end of it, burst out laughing and said out loud to an empty room...WHAT? Which clearly means there's a lot to unpack, but isn’t there always? To begin, just know that within this episode, Em and Michael will tackle topics like death, cultural appropriation and Victorian politics, so already it’s nothing but light and fluffy content kids....
Published 08/31/20
To celebrate fifty whole episodes of Emsolation we’ve put together the top ten moments since the show was birthed in April, as voted by you! Expect Britney, Brett and the Bobbitts to make an appearance and of course our favourite sexy kidnapper will pop his head up too. You won’t feel lost baby girl, after reliving the hilarity and confusion of the first fifty episodes of Emsolation! See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information.
Published 08/27/20
The Emsolation podcast is celebrating its 50th episode, so huzzah, send us gifts, tell us how young and taut we look, and throw in something about this being the new 30th episode or some such complimentary thing. Together Em and Michael delve into the Republican National Convention, which was ushering Melania Trump up to the microphone as they started recording this episode. So naturally they fully got to witness her entrance, her outfit, and the full catwalk moment she delivered as well. All...
Published 08/26/20
This week we’ve moved from Em’s patented four phases of bench cleaning, to rooting around in the attic. That’s where Em has stuffed all her previous show wardrobes and just anything else from her life that needed to just be rammed into boxes. Naturally so it can never be acknowledged or addressed ever again. Lockdown life means she decided to tackle all of that and actually stumbled on something that was kinda traumatic. It reminded Em that every time she thinks she’s making progress on...
Published 08/24/20
Em chats to Rob 'Millsy' Mills in this weeks edition of Emsolation Conversation.
Published 08/20/20
Some hard truths to begin with, we aren’t even getting out of bed for this podcast, it’s cold, Em is comfy, so nestle in because it’s happening. In fact, you should probably just get back into bed when you listen to this episode, you know you wanna. Once you’ve settled in and all of your must needs are within reach, we can begin. We start with Em’s very important four stages of fully patented bench cleaning techniques, because quite frankly no one around her house is taking the cleaning of...
Published 08/19/20
Forget tears before bedtime, the new normal is tears before a podcast recording. Regular listeners will know that often this podcast is a reflection of Em’s headspace, hence this episode has proved to be all over the place, so expect an explain first up on why Em’s eye sockets were stained with tears. Then it’s on to how Em has suddenly found herself being reduced to watching shows ONLY about either cooking or wealthy housewives. On top of that revelation, is the fact that somehow, instead of...
Published 08/17/20
To mark the 10 year anniversary of the first episode of Offspring, Em & Michael chat with Asher Keddie aka Dr. Nina Proudman, to reflect on the show.
Published 08/13/20
First up, Em’s been reminded of the importance of reaching out and touching base with the people in your life and doing more than just sharing an RUOK hashtag. After seeing a video from a farmer who posted a deeply heartfelt message about a mate he’d recently lost, it’s been a timely reminder that it’s now more important than ever, for all of us to actually do the work, and check in with the people we care about. Then Em and Michael move on to the announcement of Kamala Harris running as the...
Published 08/12/20
Can I get a CONTENT WARNING? You sure can, and you seriously need one if you’re going to listen to this around little ears, unless you like having some really interesting conversations. Okay that done, let's move on. Now if you think you’re ready for Em’s Favourite Episode EVER, you ain’t even close to being ready, trust us. This episode we talk about Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion’s new song W.A.P., which doesn’t stand for Wonderful And Polite. It actually stands for Wet Ass...um...Mrs....
Published 08/10/20
As a semi-famous Simpsons character once said “Won’t somebody please think of the children'' and whilst it had zilch to do with inspiring Em, it’s also what she’s been thinking about lately. Em reckons it’s time we acknowledged all of the kids that are going through Covid lockdown and isolation, by giving them some props for being super resilient, tough and rolling with the punches. We’re encouraging you to reach out to the kid in your life, whether they be your own kids, or your nephews,...
Published 08/05/20
For her intro, with stage 4 lockdown conditions kicking in for Melbourne, Em reckons it’s time to acknowledge we’ve moved beyond ‘stay positive’ and into ‘it’s really hard right now’ territory. So we don’t have to feel like we have to solve it all now, it’s all about taking baby steps. You’ll also get Em and Michael’s reactions to all the different stages of the new lockdown rules, from Em not caring about curfew because she’s in bed by 8pm most nights anyway, Chella, not so much, to Michael...
Published 08/03/20
Em & Michael are back again answering YOUR questions in this bonus episode!
Published 07/30/20
We start this episode with a cameo from a quite cranky Elio, apparently Em’s introduction wasn’t up to a toddler's expectations, so the rest of us should be totally fine...phew. Then Michael returns to help Em work through Melbourne’s thirst for their Chief Health Minister, Professor Brett Sutton. His TV appearances as Victorians battle against COVID-19 have clearly been enough to inspire some light sexual objectification, so much so that he’s now the subject of erotic fan fiction on Twitter....
Published 07/29/20
Okay to start things off we’ve got a new obsession...but it’s a double edged sword, so it’s basically got this beautifully decorated handle, but the blade is a bit tarnished and kinda problematic. It’s called ‘Indian Matchmaking’ and it’s the latest go to obsession for Em and Michael on Netflix. They love it, but there’s quite a few issues surrounding it as well, like how they go about arranging the marriages, which has left them feeling a bit yuck about it too. Then it's on to the rise of...
Published 07/27/20
Lockdown means most of us have access to your own fridge and pantry all the livelong day, so it's feasible that you could easily sit down in front of it and inhale all of the things whilst gently sobbing about the situation we are currently in, or maybe you’re just double checking the light is still working inside. Regardless, the worst thing you can do right now is step on a set of scales and check your body weight...which is where we find Em right now. It was a disaster, so that’s where we...
Published 07/22/20