horizontal with lila Lila Donnolo

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Get ready for a 46 episode season of Sex Ed, with Pleasure!
Host Lila, Intimacy Specialist & founding member of the premier sex-positive intentional community in New York, explores intimacy of all kinds in this sex-positive talk show on timely, titillating, tender, & taboo topics.
Her guests are pro-Dommes, therapists, kink masters, sex coaches, non-monogamous people, & folx on the street with opinions.
Positively Sex! celebrates intimacy & our ability to design our own relationships.
PS! talks about all those sex things you want to know, but might be hesitant to ask.
PS! lays it all out for you.
PS! is sex ed, with pleasure.
Darling, that is Positively Sex!

Hello horizontal lover.
This is horizontal with lila, the podcast about intimacy of all kinds, recorded while lying down. Usually, the first part of our conversation is available wherever you listen to podcasts, and the last part is available exclusively to my patrons on Patreon.com/horizontalwithlila.
Navigate yourself on over to Patreon for 50+ exclusive horizontal episodes!
Season 4, however, is my Season of Experiments. The experiment of this episode... introduces you to my brand-new live show, Positively Sex! Sex Ed, with Pleasure.
Clubhouse pioneered a new form of media: interactive social audio. It’s like a podcast you can participate in... 
I joined the app in late February and promptly became deeply infatuated. Really. Full-on limerence. NRE: New Relationship Energy.
I hardly slept! I barely ate! I talked about it to anyone who would listen! I fell asleep at wee morning hours in Clubhouse rooms, the phone half under the pillow next to me. It was, if you will, horizontal with clubhouse.
It began by ‘raising my hand.’
Then Alec Murphy began making me a co-moderator, and passing me the mic to offer intimacy advice & sexual education. 
I started saying, “Just a sex ed moment here!”
As I moved from infatuation to bonding, I met other beloved favourites, like De’Andre Sinette & Shane Cottle & my Clubhouse wife Annie Block & my Clubhouse mistress Dani & Brittany Michalchuk & Angus McColluch & & & & … I became a regular in Angus’s club MATE. I found communities of people who shouted my name with joy when I entered a virtual room.
These relationships feel tender and warm and deep, playful and tasty and delightful. And real. I haven’t met these people in person (yet). But I know their voices. And I can feel them. They are a real part of my real life.
Clubhouse is the app of the zeitgeist. 
We are the most connected, and the loneliest we have ever been. Facebook Image Crafting & comparing and despairing on Instagram has most of us feeling so much less intimate. There is something unbelievably wholesome and grounding and genuine about dialing our digital connection to its very first form: a phone call — with the addition of a few bells & whistles.
It’s free. It’s global. It’s live. And it’s just, voice.
I think that’s marvelous.
 
I starting co-hosting rooms, like:
“Ask Men Anything” with Alec.
“The Sex-Positive Room” with De’Andre.
 
And then I opened rooms of my own:
Ladies of the Sex House (with my former housemates from the Villa)
I Just Found My Poetry Stash (which I actually did, from 10 years ago, when I was doing a page a day writing practice, and there is some glorious stuff in there!)
 
Then I formed my own club: The Sex-Positive Club, and began gathering about me wise, compassionate co-mod to carve out a space for sex-positivity.
My second week on the app, I happened upon the last few minutes of Abraxas Higgins’s “Apply to the Creator First Program” room. He was doing his very last reset — giving the information about the room for the last time before closing it. I snagged that link & stayed up 'til 4am working on the application, very horizontal, laptop resting on my thighs. At 4am, I fell asleep under my computer. At 7am, I woke and kept working. That was the due date. I submitted around 1pm.
I was chosen as a finalist.
There were 5,000 entries. 53 finalists each made a pilot episode (this episode), and 25 shows were chosen as the inaugural Creator First Class of 2021… and mine, mine was one of them.
YESSSSSSSSSSS.
This is basically the first time I’ve won something in 20 years.
Positively Sex! Sex Ed, with Pleasure airs a new live episode every Sunday night through September at 9pm EST / 6pm Pacific. 
Catch it live, or become a patron of the horizontal arts on Patreon.com/horizontalwithlila (that’s P-a-t-r-E-o-n.com / horizontalwithlila) for exclusive patron access to the entire 12-episode season. 
Prepare for SENSUAL C

Hello horizontal lover. Intimacy investigator. Horizontalist.
Typically, horizontal is the podcast about intimacy of all kinds, recorded while lying down. The first part of our conversation is available wherever you listen to podcasts, and the last part is available exclusively to my patrons on Patreon.
But this: is Season 4, my Season of Experiments.
And this experiment is an installment of Alexa Martinez’s that sex chick podcast, which was, full disclosure, recorded while in bed, but (gasp!) sitting upright. For that sex chick, it’s episode 34, and for horizontal, episode 128. I’m told it’s the longest Alexa has ever gone with a guest, so, here’s to horizontal stamina. *wink*
In this episode, sex parties done right, I share the orientation I lead at my last play party — which is a Facebook-safe euphemism for a sex party — in its entirety.
Alexa’s super-connected sex-positive crew of curious kittens, a collective on Facebook called That Sex Group, have been really curious about these parties. Both of us have found it’s what a lot of people want to know about when they find out it’s a) something we’ve got a fair amount of experience with, and b) something we’re willing to talk about publicly.
So here! We made you an episode.
This contains the lion’s share of wisdom I’ve gathered about play parties during my 7 years in the sex-positive community. What can happen at a play party, how you prepare for it, how to communicate with your partner or partners about it, some points of etiquette, and some of my personal tales of play parties past.
I first met Alexa at a Future of Sex panel, curated by the podcast host and sextech expert, Bryony Cole, who was my guest for episodes 28. future of sex, and 29. sexual attitude readjustment day. This was also the very same event at which I met Bryan Stacy (who was on said panel) & Dominick Q., champions of men’s work and co-hosts of The Great Man Within podcast, who were also my guests for a Season Threesome on episodes 76. the discerning dick, and 77. post-sex choice. (In Season Three, I got horizontal with two guests at a time, who were in some kind of relationship with one another. Hence: the season threesome!)
Recently, I guested on The Great Man Within, and we did a deepdive into The Stoplight Game. It’s episode #220, titled, “How To Ask For What You Want in the Bedroom.” 
This to say that… in the not-so-distant future, when I have Alexa on my podcast AT LAST, we will all have been guests on each other’s shows, and isn’t that a particularly pretty podcaster-polycule? 
Yes. Yes I think it is.
Alexa is my kindred. She approaches sex, love, & relationships with the same kind of voracious curiosity I do, tickled through with playfulness. She was one of the first to encourage me to set up shop as an Intimacy Coach, and now, three years later, I finally have. She sometimes has purple hair and is always up for a frolic and a photo opportunity and a deep conversation. You can hear her smiling when she talks, and the way she shares her vulnerable relationship realizations with the world are both an affirmation and an inspiration to me. I love her. I hope you will too.
Come get figuratively horizontal with us, in Canggu, Bali, Indonesia, and Austin, Texas.

Hello my horizontal lovers, my intimacy investigators, my horizontalists!
horizontal is the podcast about intimacy of all kinds, recorded while lying down (and usually, while wearing robes). 
With few exceptions, our conversations are languorous, meandering, and long-form, as though post-coital, or stargazing, or staring out onto the open road in the wee hours of a very long road trip. It’s a private conversation made public. It’s consensual eavesdropping.
Typically on horizontal, each conversation is between 3 and 5 hours long, and divided into two to four parts. The former half is available to all horizontalists, and the latter, is available exclusively to patrons of the horizontal arts. 
This is Season 4, my Season of Experiments. During this season, I’m investigating form and format, length and structure, context and content. Playing aurally. Trying things I haven’t tried yet. Thus far, Season 4 has seen a mash-up with Devin Person’s “this podcast is a ritual” show, episodes with more-or-less intrusive narration (you decide), and a session with a matchmaker in which I get interviewed, as the client.
you spilled your hot come on my hot girlfriend, this episode, is from my very first recording spotlighting a single sexy topic!
In episodes 126 & 127, I lie down with Dallas King, L.A. native, global hedonist, director, filmmaker, hot professor, model, and profoundly experienced bull. He is writing the book on cuckolding. Literally. That’s what he’s in Bali to do.
It’s called GASM.
For images featuring such highlights as Dallas’s rippling abs, brooding fashion sense, and graphic tattoos, witness his Instagram @dallasking1 
In this first half of our recording, we talk about:
craigslist personals what cuckolding means “the lifestyle” versus sex-positive culture working as a massage therapist in L.A. & becoming a bull his first time pleasing another man’s wife & being watched while doing it grappling with professional, mental, and religious inhibitions homophobia & sexual performance how being a bull can affect your romantic relationships humiliation & emasculation agreeing on where to come navigating couple dynamics dealing with your own expectations cuckqueens, and … my desire to be a female bull. For access to the spicy second half of this conversation, as well as 50 other exclusive episodes, navigate yourself directly to Patreon.com/horizontalwithlila. Make sure you click the link or type that in exactly, because, as a creator who is considered “adult,” my profile isn’t searchable on Patreon. (!)
Other than that, Patreon is great. It’s like the love child of crowdfunding and a subscription service. You can become a patron for $7/month on up, and the rewards get more and more sumptuous. For instance, at the $100 level, you get a 30-minute one-on-one Intimacy Guidance session with me every month...
This episode was mixed and mastered by Irving Gadhoury of IGrecording.com. My cover art was illustrated by Shana Shay, from 99designs. This intro music is a remix by acapella beatbox musician kidmental, whose motto is “theme songs for everyone.” Support a Black creator, and get a catchy jingle of your very own by hiring him on Fiverr or becoming his patron on Patreon.
Upcoming in Season 4, I have a recording from my guest spot on Dominick Q & Bryan Stacey’s “The Great Man Within” podcast, a couple of episodes with the journalist Sue Jaye Johnson, in which she interviewed me for her project “The Pleasure Report,” a 5-part mini-series with Jet-Setting Jasmine, who you must know — a badass Black therapist & porn star, and her incredible Dom husband, and a daughter that gives me hope for the future of humanity, as well as shows with segments, a la NPR, among other explorations.
Until next time: May you have someone to love, something to do, and something to look forward to.
I’m looking forward to scripting and rehearsing my first TED-style talk, and the event

Hello my horizontal lovers, my intimacy investigators, my horizontalists! horizontal is the podcast about sex, love, & relationships of all kinds, recorded while lying down, and usually, while wearing robes.
If you’ve listened to either one of my ‘between two wizard’ episodes, 85. well-hung psychedelic sex wizard / no hookups or 86. you’re trying to porn sex me, or my most magical recent horizontal mashup episodes, 123. this ritual is horizontal, or 124. this horizontal is a ritual, you’ve become acquainted with my Wizard friend, Devin Person.
During both of our horizontal recordings (one in-person, in his former wizard bed in Greenpoint, Brooklyn, and the other virtual, mediated by the magic of the interwebz, between Louisville, Kentucky, and Canggu, Bali, Indonesia) a remarkable fact about his relationship surfaced: he and his partner (now fiancé) don’t text. Ever. It’s one of their cherished relationship agreements, a social norm within the co-creation of their dyad. They just don’t text. If they want to communicate with one another, they need to actually pick up the phone, and dial their partner.
Well, that fiancé he doesn’t text with… is our storyteller today.
Typically on horizontal, each conversation is between 3 and 5 hours long and divided into two to four parts. The former half is available for all horizontalists everywhere, and the latter half is available exclusively to patrons of the horizontal arts. With few exceptions, our conversations are languorous and long-form, as though post-coital, or stargazing, or staring out onto the open road in the wee hours of a very long road trip. I consider it consensual eavesdropping.
When you become a patron you receive a key to the horizontal city, unlocking access to over 50 exclusive episodes. Become a patron of the horizontal arts by navigating directly to www.patreon.com/horizontalwithlila ... You must click on or type in that link directly, because sex-positive creators are still in quite a bind with social media these days. You can’t just go to Patreon and search my name, or the name of my show, because the search engine pretends all of its mature content doesn’t exist! I guess that makes Patreon sort of like the boyfriend who doesn’t want the world to know that we are dating, but it is the best crowdsourcing subscription service that I know at this moment. So. I take it as an indicator of just how far we still need to go to eradicate sex-negativity, stigma, shame, and taboo.
Usually, my Patreon tiers begin at $7 per month, but this month I’ve opened up ten $5 a month spots for access to The Full Horizontal. Two spot already got snagged before this announcement, so as of this recording there are 8 left. Claim one, and all the horizontality shall be yours.
At the end of each long-form recording, I ask my guest to tell me a story. It can be any tale that falls under the broad umbrella of intimacy. My only requirement is that they have a burning desire to share it with me. Because these stories usually take place in the part twos (or fours) of our recordings, most of you horizontalists never get to hear such tales as being carried down a mountain on the shoulders of a hunky guide, or donating your father’s body to science and then insisting on a connection with the medical students who studied him, or getting married every year — to the same person.
Occasionally, in pre-pandemic times, I’d host horizontal storytelling pajama parties. My launch party in May of 2017 was a pajama party! This quickie was recorded live during Pride Month in June 2019 at horizontal storytelling: the summer pride edition. We all donned rainbow pajamas, noshed on milk and cookies, and curled up together, horizontally, all 50 of us, to listen to the tales of five storytellers from across the LGBTQIA+ community, one after the other.
In this particular quickie, I lie down with Lisa Ann Markuson, also known as LAMARKS, queer cis femme bisexual woman bos

Hello horizontal lovers & ritualists,
horizontal is the podcast about sex, love, & relationships of all kinds, recorded while lying down. this ritual is horizontal is part of my Season 4, the Season of Experiments. 
Usually, I have a guest or two reclining next to me, sharing a pillow, but This Season in the Era of Covid, my guest is often lying down across the world from me, as Devin is here... and we have an intimate, vulnerable, long-ranging and long-form conversation that unfolds over the course of  3 - 5 hours, and gets divided into 2 - 4 episodes. Typically, the first half of our conversation is available in all the podcast places, and the latter half is available exclusively to patrons of the horizontal arts.
In the latter part of our conversation, which will be episode 124 on horizontal, we discuss a bit of ghosting wizardry, dating reviews, self-holds, and parenting our inner child. Then I tell Devin a story about being photographed nude in a nest, and the most miserable sexy dance party, and Devin conjures a 3-point spell for alchemizing connection across distance. One way to gain access to episode 124 is to become a patron of the horizontal arts on Patreon. 
Patreon is a portal to the work of the modern-day independent artist, like the love child of crowd-funding and a subscription service. A monthly contribution to my Patreon unlocks over 50 exclusive episodes, and a monthly contribution to Devin’s Patreon offers you access to magical rituals centered around numbers of, shall we say, modern-day interest — one of which I participated in. The number: was 69, and the episode is titled “How to Pleasure Yourself and Others.” Last night, I listened back to it (for the first time since the recording) and got turned on! so I highly recommend it. To become a patron, navigate directly to Patreon.com/horizontalwithlila or Patreon.com/thispodcastisaritual
The other way is this — as a rare gift in honor of our collaboration, you can gain access to the full episode if you head over to Devin’s this podcast is a ritual feed, even if you aren’t a patron of the horizontal arts! Which means, if you are listening to this on Devin’s feed, you get the whole thing right now.
The experiment of this episode, as Devin described, is a mash-up, and this is my very first mash-up episode. When I think about mash-ups, I think of some intrepid songstress like my friend Meghan Tonjes and the way she puts two pop songs in a blender on YouTube and makes something creamily delicious — both capturing the infectious joy and the hook-iness of the original songs, and somehow also more than that, the alchemy of two entities enjoined, creating something that does not exist before they are enmeshed. In other words: Magic.
In this part of our conversation, I tell Devin the story of Hamilton & the Hondalorian, and we talk about connecting across distance, phone calls vs. video calls, charting-new-territory friends and rerun friends, the nutrients of digital communication & joy of sexting, the Seamlessification of dating, resilience, rejection, & confidence, & icing on Tinder.
This mash-up was mixed and mastered by Irving Gadhoury of IGrecording.com. My cover art was illustrated by Shana Shay, whom you can hire on 99designs. The remix of my original intro music was created by kidmental, whose motto is “theme songs for everyone.” You can both support a Black creator, and get a theme song of your very own by supporting him on Fiverr or on Patreon.
Until next time, my horizontal ritualists, my ritual horizontalists: 
May you have someone to love, something to do, and something to look forward to. I’m looking forward to assembling my camera kit with 4K video capabilities and proper studio lighting... and finally shooting my Master Class-style course on connection! If you want information on that, and future horizontal endeavors, follow @horizontalwithlila on Instagram, or sign up for my email missives on horizontalwithlila.