How to Split a Toaster: A Divorce Podcast About Saving Your Relationships TruStory FM

Apologies and Relationships: How to Say Sorry and Mean It
In this episode of How to Split a Toaster, Seth and Pete dive into the art of apologizing effectively with special guest Susan McCarthy, co-author of Sorry, Sorry, Sorry: The Case for Good Apologies. Together, they explore the anatomy of a sincere apology, discuss common pitfalls, and share insights on how mastering the apology can improve your relationships, especially during a divorce – and we’re not just talking about with your spouse or ex but your kids as well!
Susan, a renowned author who has written about animal behavior and humor, brings her expertise on crafting effective apologies to the conversation. Seth and Pete engage her in a thought-provoking discussion on why people struggle with apologizing, the importance of teaching children how to apologize correctly, and how a well-executed apology can make a significant difference in the divorce process.
Questions we answer in this episode:
What are the key components of a sincere apology?How can a genuine apology impact divorce proceedings?Why is it crucial to teach children the art of apologizing?Key Takeaways:
A proper apology consists of six essential steps, including expressing remorse, acknowledging the specific wrongdoing, and demonstrating an understanding of the impact.Apologies can be powerful tools in mediation and can help couples reach agreements during a divorce.Mastering the art of apologizing can lead to healthier relationships and emotional well-being.This episode offers valuable insights for anyone looking to improve their communication skills and strengthen their relationships. Whether you're going through a divorce or simply want to learn how to apologize effectively, Seth, Pete, and Susan provide practical advice and real-life examples to help you navigate the complexities of saying "I'm sorry" and meaning it.
Links & Notes
SorryWatch.comGet Susan’s and Marjorie’s Book in hardback or paperbackSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!
(00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster
(00:26) - Meet Susan McCarthy
(03:07) - Analyzing Apologies
(03:30) - The 'Saving Your Pride' Problem
(04:04) - Apologies in the Divorce Process
(05:26) - Divorce and Apology Backstory
(08:42) - Six Parts of a Good Apology
(11:10) - Between Spouses
(12:45) - In Mediation
(14:19) - Not Making It Worse
(16:41) - Getting Past Grudges
(21:55) - Dissecting Apologies
(24:27) - The Media Matters
(27:03) - Positive Example
(29:25) - Receiving an Apology
(30:23) - Sorry Not Sorry
(30:45) - Changes to Apologies in Modern Culture
(33:29) - Apologies to Your Kids
(37:30) - Over-Apologizing?
(39:37) - Apologies with Gifts?
(41:01) - Practicing
(44:18) - Susan’s Book
(45:46) - Wrap Up

Divorce can be a complicated process, especially with children. The acronym PEACE can be used to remember the major points. We talk through each of the points on the show today. When filing for divorce, keep these in mind.
P – Parenting Plan: Required under Florida law and is split into parental responsibility (decision-making), child time-sharing (custody and visitation), and everything else that goes along with raising kids.E – Equitable Distribution: How your assets (things you own) or liabilities (debts you owe) will be divided. In Florida, the starting point is that marital property is divided equitably.A – Alimony: This is a payment one spouse makes to another spouse during or after the divorce. The main questions regarding alimony are: does one spouse have a need for alimony, and does the other spouse have the ability to pay alimony?  If the answer to those questions is yes, then the question is how much and for how long.C – Child Support: Child support is based on a mathematical formula. It typically lasts until the child turns eighteen or graduates high school.E – Everything Else: This includes the divorce process and how attorney’s fees get paid.This conversation goes back to the beginning for a refresher in the core elements to keep in mind when you’re going through a divorce.
Links & Notes
Parenting Plan ExamplesSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!
(00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster
(00:26) - P.E.A.C.E.
(04:24) - P for Parenting Plan
(21:00) - E for Equitable Distribution
(29:02) - A for Alimony
(32:22) - C for Child Support
(36:45) - E for Everything Else
(39:06) - Wrap Up

Listener Questions on Alimony, Co-Parenting, and More
In this episode of How to Split a Toaster, Seth Nelson and Pete Wright dive into their mailbag to answer pressing questions from listeners. From alimony calculations to co-parenting challenges, Seth and Pete offer their insights and advice on navigating the complexities of divorce.
Seth and Pete tackle a range of topics, including how judges handle parenting plans for previously uninvolved parents, the intricacies of Florida's new alimony statute, and strategies for dealing with uncooperative ex-spouses in co-parenting arrangements. They also share the origin story of the podcast and express gratitude for their dedicated listeners.
Questions we answer in this episode:
Can a judge order a step-up plan for a previously uninvolved parent?How is alimony calculated under Florida's new law?How can I handle an ex-spouse who refuses to accommodate extra time with the kids?Key Takeaways:
Judges must act in the best interest of the child when determining parenting plansAlimony calculations in Florida are based on net income, not gross incomeCommunicate openly with your ex-spouse about co-parenting issues and aim to be the bigger personPlus, Kristin asks about the origins of the How to Split a Toaster podcast. Seth and Pete take a walk down memory lane, recounting their initial meeting, early podcast ideas, and the journey that led to the creation of their successful show.
This episode is packed with valuable information for anyone navigating a divorce or co-parenting relationship. Seth and Pete's expert advice, combined with their engaging banter, makes for an informative and entertaining listen. Tune in to gain a deeper understanding of crucial divorce-related issues and discover strategies for handling common challenges.
Links & Notes
Schedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!
(00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster
(00:26) - Listener Questions!
(02:07) - Question #1
(07:46) - Question #2
(12:24) - Question #3
(18:38) - Question #4
(22:16) - Wrap Up

In this episode of How to Split a Toaster, Seth and Pete dive into the challenging topic of how divorce impacts children. They're joined by special guest Cathy Himlin, a reunification/conjoint family therapist, to discuss the child-centered approach in divorce parenting and what parents need to know to maintain a healthy connection with their kids.
Seth, Pete, and Cathy explore how parents' grief, anxiety, and emotions during the divorce process can affect children. They discuss the concept of "emotional contagion" and how kids pick up on and model their parents' behavior and feelings. Cathy shares insights from her work in court-involved family therapy, explaining how she helps children who have rejected a parent due to the emotional fallout of divorce.
Questions we answer in this episode:
How do my emotions during divorce impact my children?What can I do to help my kids cope with the changes and stress of divorce?How can therapy assist in repairing the parent-child relationship after a divorce?Key Takeaways:
Be mindful of how your emotions and behaviors affect your children during divorceFocus on your children's needs and create a safe space for them to express their feelingsSeeking professional help, like reunification therapy, can be crucial in maintaining and repairing parent-child bondsThroughout the episode, Seth, Pete, and Cathy provide valuable advice and strategies for parents navigating the challenges of divorce with their children. They emphasize the importance of validating children's emotions, offering sincere apologies when necessary, and consistently working to maintain a strong, supportive parent-child relationship.
This episode is a must-listen for any parent going through a divorce who wants to better understand their child's perspective and learn practical ways to help them cope with the emotional impact of this significant life change.
Plus, we answer a listener question about social investigations!
Links & Notes
Learn more about Cathy at Himlin ConsultingSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!
(00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster
(00:27) - Meet Cathy Himlin
(01:04) - Parental Grief Impacting the Kids
(04:10) - Chidren Impacted from High Conflict Divorces
(06:13) - Impact Down the Road
(07:28) - Working with Kids Who Reject Parents
(09:01) - Getting Them in the Car
(10:17) - Court-Involved
(12:29) - Triggers for Court-Ordered
(13:17) - When It’s Weaponized
(14:03) - Different Reasons for Rejection
(16:36) - Through the Process
(19:58) - When the Child Feels Heard
(21:07) - Feeling Pain
(22:20) - Apologies
(24:14) - Language of an Authentic Apology
(28:37) - With Different Ages
(32:44) - Permissive Parenting
(36:20) - Finding Cathy
(38:09) - Listener Question
(44:41) - Wrap Up

Navigating Your Financial Mindset After Divorce
In this episode of How to Split a Toaster, Seth and Pete dive into the psychological impact of divorce on financial decision making. They're joined by certified financial planner Ben Hockema, who shares his insights on helping individuals rebuild their lives and relationship with money post-divorce.
Seth, Pete, and Ben explore how divorce can drastically change one's financial psychology, often leading to a scarcity mindset. They discuss the importance of processing the loss of a "financial partner" and the stages of undoing the experience with a poor one. Ben emphasizes the need for a grieving period before making any irrevocable financial decisions and shares his approach to helping clients start fresh with a new financial plan tailored to their individual goals.
Questions we answer in this episode:
How does divorce impact your financial psychology?What are the stages of undoing the experience with a poor financial partner?How can you rebuild your financial life after divorce?Key Takeaways:
Allow yourself time to grieve the loss of your financial partner before making major financial decisions.Start fresh with a new financial plan that aligns with your individual goals and values.Seek support from a financial planner or therapist to help navigate the emotional aspects of money post-divorce.This episode offers valuable insights for anyone navigating the financial and emotional challenges of divorce. Seth, Pete, and Ben provide practical advice and reassurance that with time, support, and a fresh perspective, it's possible to rebuild a healthy relationship with money and move forward with confidence.
Plus, we answer a listener question!
Links & Notes
Find Ben and Illuminate Wealth Management on the web, Instagram, LinkedIn, and FacebookSchedule a call with BenThe Trance of Scarcity by Victoria CastleSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!
(00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster
(00:27) - Meet Ben Hockema
(01:53) - Financial Psychology During Divorce
(03:43) - Scarcity
(07:12) - Financial Partner
(10:17) - Stages
(13:40) - Surprises
(18:07) - Extracting the Info
(22:23) - When It Was Never Your Job
(26:21) - Learned Skill
(27:08) - Trance of Scarcity
(28:06) - Post-Divorce Checklist
(32:34) - Where to Find Ben
(33:36) - Listener Question
(40:54) - Wrap Up

In this episode, Seth and Pete welcome Josef Stetter, also known as "The Résumé Whisperer," to share his insights on creating a compelling post-divorce résumé that will help you land the job you desire.
Seth and Pete discuss with Josef the challenges faced by individuals re-entering the workforce after a divorce. They explore strategies for highlighting transferable skills, quantifying accomplishments, and showcasing the unique value you bring to the table. Josef emphasizes the importance of tailoring your résumé to the specific job and company you're targeting, rather than relying on generic approaches.
Questions we answer in this episode:
How can I make my résumé stand out after being out of the workforce for an extended period?What transferable skills should I highlight on my post-divorce résumé?How do I get past the AI filters and ensure my résumé reaches human eyes?Key Takeaways:
Quantify your accomplishments and contributions to demonstrate your valueTailor your résumé to the specific job and company you're targetingBe proactive in your job search by making personal connections and following upJosef also shares practical tips for acing the job interview, including coming prepared, projecting confidence, and focusing on quantifiable achievements rather than just duties and responsibilities. Seth and Pete engage in a lively discussion with Josef, providing examples and actionable advice for listeners navigating the post-divorce job search.
This episode is packed with valuable insights and strategies for creating a standout post-divorce résumé and acing the job interview. Whether you've been out of the workforce for a while or are looking to switch careers, Josef's expert guidance will help you showcase your unique strengths and land the job you deserve.
Plus, we tackle a listener question about bringing AI into your divorce.
Links & Notes
Find Josef on the web, LinkedIn, Twitter/X, Instagram, Facebook, and YouTubeSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!
(00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster
(02:00) - Meet Josef Stetter
(06:18) - Crafting Your Resume
(08:23) - Telling Your Story
(11:02) - Finding the Relevance
(14:09) - Accomplishments
(18:24) - Getting Noticed
(25:46) - The Interview
(29:49) - Different Demographic Jobs
(32:20) - Personal Touches
(35:07) - Finding Josef
(36:07) - Listener Question
(43:04) - Wrap Up

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