Astro Bachie - Week One
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Description
Sorting the Potential Wifeys from the Reject Stunt Cast is what Episodes 1 and 2 of The Bachelor are all about. Rosie Waterland recaps The Bachelor for her friends Emily and Jacob. Highlights include the Chinese Tourism Robot, the Stage 5 Pube Stealer and of course, a bad batch of sh*t cake.
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Hey all you cool cats and kittens. Rosie tells Jacob the tragic story about the little girl who’s only remembered for being a murdered child beauty queen. (Also TIGER KING CAROLE BASKIN DID IT GOODNIGHT.)
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He stole billions of dollars through the biggest Ponzi scheme in history... which meant Rosie had to figure out what the hell a Ponzi scheme is so she could explain it to Jacob. Also Jacob questions the origin of Rosie's 'BREAKIN' NEWS' accent and Rosie is not happy about it. 
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Felt apt this week, no?
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