124 episodes
Love and Abuse Paul Colaianni
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- Health & Fitness
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4.8 • 754 Ratings
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Helping you identify toxic communication, emotional abuse, manipulation, and other forms of bad behavior in relationships. Love and Abuse gives you the perspective of both the victim and the perpetrator. Full of tips and advice for your friendships, family, love life, and marriage.
You'll learn about covert abusive communication that takes away your power. And you'll discover how to pinpoint the specific toxic behaviors, such as narcissistic abuse and verbal abuse, before you are dragged into a game so deep you come out a shell of your former self.
Love and Abuse is the official podcast of The M.E.A.N. Workbook, an assessment and healing guide to help you evaluate the emotionally abusive and manipulative patterns in your relationship. Get the guide that will tell you exactly what's happening in your relationship over at loveandabuse.com.
Transcripts available upon request: https://loveandabuse.com/contact/
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Time with yourself is not only necessary, its required
You give, you adapt, and you change who you are almost to your very core... to what end? When you are overly compassionate to others, you might actually be taking away from yourself. This is as harmful to your mind as a lack of sleep is to your body.
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Emotionally abusive behavior is also physically painful
Victims of emotional abuse can experience physical pain from all the trauma, potentially leading to increased tolerance and resilience of harm. They can gradually lose their identity due to the abuser’s actions, becoming a shell of their former selves.
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When the good you do for them leads nowhere
Some emotionally abusive people don't change, no matter how much the victim of their hurtful behavior changes for them. Is there ever a point where they will be the person you want them to be? Or does anything you do really matter at all?
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A clever manipulation tactic that makes you believe you are the problem
There's a clever manipulation that can happen in some emotionally abusive relationships. It starts with superficial kindness and vague promises and leads to blameshifting and avoiding true accountability. This very subtle form of gaslighting will drive you crazy. I'll share with you how to spot it.
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When you think you're strong enough to get back into the difficult relationship
When you reach your breaking point with someone, you might make the decision to leave. During that time, you can regain your confidence and feel your power again. You might even decide to give the relationship a second chance, knowing that if you see any warning signs, you can address them right away.
That is until you are once again coerced into staying in a situation that seems destined to go down the exact same path as before. Now what? -
How emotional abuse can enter your life like an infection
Sometimes, you can't see the red flags before you're hurt. Emotional abuse can be like an infection that enters your body. You may not know it's there until a lot of time has passed, and you've invested a lot into the relationship.
In this episode, I share how emotional abuse acts like an infection entering your body and mind and help you understand the environment in which such an emotional infection thrives.
Customer Reviews
Time to yourself…
I suffered through over 25 years of emotional, spiritual and verbal abuse. And in listening to your podcast it has helped give me the courage to leave.
When you talked about how there can be a time when someone’s heart has been turned off towards their partner and that helped me so much to see that this had most definitely happened to me.
But the “time to yourself episode”, WOW, now that I’ve been out for about 2 months and just at 2 weeks of no contact, I listened to this episode. I was never allowed to do anything without my husband being with me or he’d have hurt feelings. But he’d also hyperventilate and cry if I had to go out of town, to see my mother with Alzheimer’s . It was extreme!! After I’ve now left he has been baker acted 3 times, once voluntarily and twice against his will. So it escalated even more after I left. I was extremely isolated and controlled in my marriage. And it’s still surreal that I got out. But I’m growing and healing. The work you do here is beautiful.
You are changing lives. Mine being one of them.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Great show to stop the abuser
Boundaries get confused with care and crossing boundaries - cruel behavior, manipulation followed Random acts kindness … it makes you feel crazy
Thankful to Paul to map it out
Very helpful
“ You can only change you” stuff don’t work
So, I have a question, could you explain the reasons with people that are narcissistic and emotionally abusive why the other spouse changing themselves doesn’t make or encourage the abusing/narcissistic spouse want to change? There doesn’t seem to be many people talking about it.
I’ve been there done that, tried it all, and my spouse continued to just be emotionally lazy, toxic, pass the blame, make excuses, continued draining me emotionally, and frankly be turned off by me completely unless he was treated with utter grace no matter how awful he acted, treated me, or how he messed up the money, I wasn’t allowed to get upset because it triggered him. Basically, I couldn’t be any sort of normal in my opinion.
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