In this FINAL EPISODE of "No Doorway Wide Enough, I'll explain how this book came by its name.  I'll serve up, perhaps, the WEIRDEST dream I've had so far, I'll share a poem I call, "Ode to an Adult Diaper," we'll wrap up the first round of physical therapy, I'll run down a list of things I wanted to discuss with my neurologist at the next visit,  and we'll wrap up this book, on the three year anniversary of the day I had my deep brain stimulation surgery. Thanks to the cats at Cheap Radio...

In this, the pentultimate episode, I start with the speech therapy.  I share my toughts on whether or not drowning in iced tea is a good way for a man to die.  Then I share some of the untold benefits of working at home, and I wondered aloud about the lack of Parkinson's Disease Awareness during Parkinson's Disease Awareness month and the reasons for it. One more episode to go!  Remember, you can get hard copies at practically every online bookstore, as well as through my website --...

In Episode 15, I talk with blessed assurance about what is going to happen to me after I die... and it has NOTHING to do with religion.  I cause a little kid to be terrified of old men and their walkers.  I have my first really vivid and well-formed hallucination.  I discuss the curse of nightly throat crud.  And I answer a Facebook posting from a very nice lady who said I sounded angry and suffering from hopelessness. We have just a couple episodes left, and I want to remind you again that...

In THIS episode, more bizarre dreams in which Evil Nurses call me a FAKER!  In addition to all my other difficulties, I start having trouble... talking!  It's time for another visit with the neurologist, and I wonder, who should I listen to... the doctor, or the ice cream.  Why is it that young people are in such a hurry when it's the OLD folks who are running out of time?  And everything you ever wanted to know about Parkinson's masking. All on Episode #14 of No Doorway Wide Enough!

In this episode, we'll discuss life immediately after my sister's untimely passing, more falling, more vivid dreaming, some of the more disgusting and gross aspects of Parkinson's disease, and why it sucks to be slow when it's cold outside. Don't let the description fool you.  This is a fun episode and a "must listen" for anyone who has ever pooped in the shower. Thanks to the cats at Cheap Radio Thrills for the music, and thanks to the gang at Podiobooks for putting this on their site. ...

This is No Doorway Wide Enough, the story of my Parkinson's Decade from getting the diagnosis in 2000 to volunteering for experimental brain surgery in 2007, to the mixed results I'm experiencing today. In Episode #11, we wrapped up with a little poem called, "Ode to a Frozen Foot."  In this episode, I'll talk about some of the practical applications of freezing, what happens when you step on a dog, a note from Vanderbilt that made me reconsider the wisdom of taking part in the clinical...

Welcome to Episode #11 of No Doorway Wide Enough on Podiobooks. In Episode #10, we saw how Parkinson's disease has begun to affect my driving skills and my ability to get to and from my job in mid-2009. And we started delving into the world of REM Sleep Behavior Disorder and the wacky dreams it causes. In Episode #11, the dreams get MORE bizarre, I break them down by category, and we'll wrap up the episode with a poem I wrote called, "Ode to a Frozen Foot." Thanks to all who have...

In this episode of No Doorway Wide Enough, we see how Parkinson's disease begins to affect my driving skills and my ability to get to and from my job in mid-2009.  And we start delving into the world of REM Sleep Behavior Disorder and the wacky dreams it causes. Don't forget, you can find hard copies of this book at: Lulu.com (Hardcover, paperback and eBook -- 15% off until 8/15/2010 -- details on my website) Amazon.com (Hardcover, paperback and Kindle) Barnes & Noble (Hardcover,...

Episode 9 begins with me falling in the shower.  I get to yell at God a little bit when I learn that my sister has terminal cancer.  I'm slowing down, dragging out, falling down and bleeding all over a hotel bathroom.  And one of my dogs won't stop peeing on the floor!  Such is the drama in my Parkinsonian life.  Welcome to another episode of "No Doorway Wide Enough" on Podiobooks!

In Episode 8 of "No Doorway Wide Enough", pull up a chair and join me for a delicious "Lump o' Egg" as we sweat our way through Droolfest II -- that 8-day period at the Vanderbilt University Medical Center's General Clinical Research Center when they turn off the Deep Brain Stimulation devices, take away the Parkinson's disease medications... and watch the deterioration! It's FUN! (BTW:  If you'd like to see some Droolfest video, go to http://www.youtube.com/bschmalfeldt and search the word...

All the deep brain stimulation hardware is in place.  Now it's time for the programming.  Unfortunately, I live near Baltimore and the guy doing the programming is in Nashville.  This makes for some interesting day trips. Let the programming begin as you listen to Episode 7 of "No Doorway Wide Enough." (BTW: In this episode -- I SING!!!)

The first two surgeries are done and over with.  There's one left, the one they said was "piece of cake, in and out, two hours, no problem."  So why did my neck hurt so bad when it was all over with? Enjoy Episode #6 of "No Doorway Wide Enough."  And remember... any donations I receive will go to the National Parkinson Foundation and the DBS Research Fund at Vanderbilt University Medical Center! See ya on my web site -- http://parkybill.com

In this episode, I take you with me into the operating room for a seven-hour surgery to place electrodes deep into my brain.  But first, I have to deal with some jagoff at a bar, try to get a good night's sleep while staring at the grim spectre of death and have a catheter put in.  Then, after the surgery, I have to wait many more hours for a hospital room and try to sleep as my brain absorbs the air that got into my skull during the surgery -- snap, crackle, pop! Then I get to go home.

At Vanderbilt, they do DBS surgery in three stages.  In this episode, I have the first stage done... the placement of four bone markers that are screwed into my skull.  I walk around with these things in my head for about a week before the main surgery.

Once I was accepted into Vanderbilt's clinical trial, I had to undergo an 8-day stay at their General Clinical Research Center during which my Parkinson's medications would be withdrawn and I would be monitored and studied.  At the end of the 8th day, my symptoms would be compared with the symptoms I had on the first day.  And then they would reach into the hat and tell me whether or not I would be "randomized" to the surgery group, or the "control" group -- one of the 15 who would continue...

A big part of my job as Production Manager at the National Institutes of Health Radio News Service was to write and produce podcasts informing the public about the importance of clinical trials in the search for new and better treatments for diseases.  So here I was, with a perfectly good case of Parkinson's disease.  What was I going to do with it? I learned of a clinical trial into the safety and tolerability of "deep brain stimulation" in the early stages of Parkinson's.  The theory the...

Was it karma that caused my Parkinson's disease?  Well, I was less than kind to an old farmer I worked for in high school (behind his back, of course) who suffered from the disease.  So who knows.  This first section of "No Doorway Wide Enough" tells the story of my challenge to get a diagnosis in 1999 and 2000 (I kept hearing, "You're Too Young!"), through 2007 when a neurologist told me I not only seemed to HAVE Parkinson's, but a fairly classic case of it.  The segment ends on a...