Episodes
This week Holden scuttles up some spaget and BLOCKS MJ ALL FOR THE CIRCLE (JK they'll be back next week) while Jackie preps herself for the horrors of another stay in MILF Manor as a new season approaches. The Circle Season 6 - Netflix X-Men '97 - Max The First Omen - IN THE THEATAHS Civil War - in the THEATAHS Baby Reindeer - Netflix Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast
Published 04/24/24
Published 04/24/24
This week Holden, Jackie and Big Earl are gossin' about it bein' T Swift release week, complete with a 4/19 Taylor Swift album release stream, PLUS IS TAY DOING DDDDDRUGS IN DA WOODS?, Grimes rides out to her screaming Coachella doom on a robotic spider and probably wishes she had Will Smith's memory eraser from his Coachella performance as Agent J (complete with creepily muscular alien dancers), Madonna brings Ricky Martin on stage for to vouge and he subjects everyone to the outline of his...
Published 04/19/24
This week Holden, MJ and Jackie marvel at their singing being able to be pieced together by their vv cool producer. Holden gears up for The Circle while MJ discusses the newest episode of Bluey, a series which brings Jackie back to Adventure Time in terms of emotional gut punches from 11 minute kids shows. Physical 100- Netflix Married At First Sight Season 17 - Amazon Prime Bluey - Nickelodeon The Gentlemen - Netflix One Piece - Netflix Fallout - Amazon Want even more Page 7? Support us on...
Published 04/18/24
This week MJ, Jackie and Holden dawn their best bootleg KISS makeup to start their bad girl era as JoJo Siwa tries to reinvent herself much to all our chagrin (and delight), Mormons apparently love Taylor Swift (who just dropped a massive amount of playlists on Apple Music with some iiiiinteresting choices), April Real's day can't happen because they're STRAIGHT OUTTA REALS and no one is willing to step-up to the mantel, but FEAR NOT as Jackin' on that fated Friday, April 19th shall instead...
Published 04/11/24
TALKIN' TV IS BACK (WITH BONUS MJ) AND RELEASED FROM IT'S PATREON SHACKLES! Physical 100 - Netflix Mean Girl Murders - Netflix Quiet on the Set - Max The Truth vs Alex Jones - Netflix Seeking Sister Wives - Discovery plus, MAX Smothered Season 5 - Discovery plus, MAX Invincible - Amazon Prime Immaculate - movie theater! Monkey Man - movie theater! Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast
Published 04/10/24
This week Jackie's Jolene just wants cookies, Mr. WHITE CISHET MAN himself Holden's terrified of a specificly BUZZy set of fans and MJ's entered a new gay cowboy phase as they gush about Beyoncé's new country album 'Cowboy Carter', Jackie became the APRIL FOOL HERSELF while Holden's forcing the celebration of Men's Month, Lizzo QUIT (at least til she clarified), every company got out their silly sillies for April Fools, Holden mounts the classic Rock of Love on Hulu, Jackie would definitely...
Published 04/04/24
This week Jackie, Holden, and MJ are feelin' DYNAMITE despite a DARK NEWS WEEK complete with the Kate Middleton mystery ending with a Royal cancer announcement and Diddy's Empire seemingly crumbling (check out this week's Leftovers for even more terrible news with 'Quiet on the Set'), Jackie goes to bat for her ITALIAN heritage and is STILL trying to make Springsgiving a thing, Page 7 FLIPS THEIR STANCE ON GOOP, Rebel Wilson drops bombs on the path to the release of her autobiography which...
Published 03/28/24
This week Jackie's Hemorrhaging and passin' it on to Holden and MJ as they goss 'bout the name of Spring Thanksgiving, the drama currently going on with Sims Geoff, as Jackie gets on board with Yacht Rock and rekindles her love for Steely Dan, A KATE MIDDLETON UPDATE, Holden channels a robot provides a dismal update about the year 2035, Meghan Markle drops a homeware line which only adds to the Kate fire, as well as some more fallout from the no longer Royals failed Spotify deal, a man in...
Published 03/21/24
This week Holden (who is not missing), Jackie and MJ get deep(er) into the Kate Middleton photo conspiracy for the first 20 minutes or so before it's time for THE OSCARS (which Barbie dominated) complete with a live performance of 'I'm Just Ken', Holden gets a two day Twitch ban for Oscar streamin', Sloppenheimer and the beast he created took home Oscars, Paul Giamatti tearing up won Jackie's heart and John Cena brought out the cum storm drains, MJ thinks back to the days of Billy Crystal...
Published 03/14/24
This week on a very special Page 7 Holden, MJ and Jackie crack open the UK government's plan to keep whatever's happening with the Royal Family from the public with the early Conspiracy Corner: Is Kate Middleton Missing!?!, Jackie processes the changes to Nicole Kidman's AMC ad (THEY REMOVED THE PHRASE), Jackie lays out the specifics on her attraction to Austin Butler's Feyd-Rautha, MJ creates a family tree to help figure out what's going on with the Cyrus Clan, a list full of unlikely...
Published 03/07/24
This week Jackie, MJ, and what appears to be Pedro Pascal goss' 'bout Beyoncé getting accused of lifting the Franklin theme song for "TEXAS HOLD 'EM", Jackie and MJ head down the G Flip Slippery Slide, Machine Gun Kelly blacks out his nipples (and a good bit of the rest of his body), MJ's watchin' Full House with the kidz and it's brought up some very 90's conversations, Holden lays down his rules for inbox management and starts a chat about email and text etiquette, Olivia Rodrigo starts the...
Published 02/29/24
This week we're gossin' 'bout This Is Me... Now: A Love Story, Jackie refers to Affleck's mighty Phoenix as a mere bird, Mariah Carey appears on a remix of Ariana Grande's new single making a song only dogs can hear, Selena Gomez comes for Holden hard with her copycat fan name and Holden ends up calling for a total boycott of Page 7, the "I am Rectangular" singer got kidnapped with his family in South Africa, Zendaya wears a robotic Metropolis based outfit for the Dune premiere, the...
Published 02/22/24
This week on Page 7 we're gossin' 'bout ALL THINGS SUPER BOWL! Jackie unlocks the ancient wisdom of Lil Jon & the East Side Boyz and finally understands why Usher is sexy along with a full Super Bowl Halftime Show breakdown, Holden tries not to upset any Keysheads, both Lady Gaga and Beyonce announce new eras (Beyonce's goin Country Y'ALL!), MJ and Holden share Super Bowl party stories, and Jackie reveals she was too busy with Geoff and her Popcorn Fleshlight Bucket at the Dune re-release...
Published 02/15/24
This week we're gossin' 'bout THE GRAMMYS DOIN' A GREAT JOB! MJ's in a Tracy Chapman hole after Tracy Chapman killed it live, congrats Miley Cyrus on getting her first Grammy, Page 7 creates their own Grammys that we can all agree would be far superior, Tay-Tay brings home best album for 'Midnights' and drops her NEW ALBUM ART AND TRACK LIST, no one can own Eras, quick Crescent City check-in: Jackie's dislocating her jaw and devouring it (MAAS BABIES RISE UP), Billy Joel premieres new song at...
Published 02/08/24
This week we're gossin' 'bout the fact that Jackie H A T E S that she's talking to MJ "Literature Person" Knefel and Holden "Football Man" McNeely instead of gettin' lost in a tale of lust and revenge, book talk up talk with Crescent City book 3 droppin' this past Monday and brief talk on American Nightmare (Jackie recommends) after MJ reveals they're a beach read bitch, Taylor is headin' to the Superb Owl and some Football talk around 12:10, but if you skip it you'll miss how the Dems have...
Published 02/01/24
This week it's time for Oscar nom talk! Holden's excited for everything everyone hates, Rob Lowe did a Rob Lowe, WHERE IS THE CRISS ANGEL BIOPIC?!, More Saltburn and May December talk, Holden just wants a magician film PERIOD, ⚠️ NEW JLo movie This Is Me...Now: A Love Story ⚠️ pause around 1358 and WATCH THIS to prep for the coming watchalong event in February!, first ep of the new Buffy watchalong available on patreon for all levels!, MJ and Jackie fell in love with the same person, at the...
Published 01/25/24
This week Hard Clappin' Holden is joined by Jackie and MJ as they discuss Holden's future downfall at the hands of nearby burgers, You Are What You Eat nearly scares Jackie away from almost all red meat, Jackie faces the allegation that her and Geoff are SWINGBAITERS, Holden's nemesis takes time away from licking doughnuts (WE HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN) lets everyone know she's REALLY into SpongeBob, Sofia Vergara does NOT put up with an interviewer making fun of her accent, some old fashioned Page 7...
Published 01/18/24
WE'RE BACK BABY!!! Jackie finally got her WISH, MJ went outside of the house 2 times this weekend! (GETTIN' OUT 2024) and Holden's embracing his bourbon haze goblin life with Bad Surgeon: Love Under the Knife and peepin' on nudey gobs in Baldur's Gate 3. SOMETHING HAPPENS IN SALTBURN!!! Calvin Klein has blessed our 2024 with a gift of an ad, Jacob Elordi ate a bunch of bacon to be Elvis and Gideon doesn't get all these Elvis references, Holden sure knows a lot about the new Ariana Grande...
Published 01/11/24
It's the New Year and Holden, MJ, and Jackie are channeling the spirits of New Years past this week as they talk about some of their favorite holiday memories! Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast
Published 01/04/24
IT'S THE HOLIDAYS and Page 7 hopes everyone had a Merry Christmas and wishes a Happy Monkey Bob to All with this Best. Christmas. Ever! watchalong! Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast
Published 12/28/23
Jackie's kicking off sexy Christmas with a seductive rendition of I Think Ya Might Like It, MJ's having responsible adult Christmas BLAH, and Holden's thinkin' bout those solid bricks of rumchata. Shane MacGowan's funeral got everybody in the church dancin', Panera Bread's D̶e̶a̶t̶h̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶a̶ ̶C̶u̶p̶ Charged Lemonade keeps making headlines, Jackie is now a converted shower pisser and gives a Pissgate update, Holden goes Full Dad, Taylor Swift is a billionaire based only on music releases and...
Published 12/21/23
On this weeks Page 7 Jackie is havin' SEXY CHRISTMAS in swishy ski suits and fake fur, Holden's having a true blue teenage sad boi Christmas and MJ is bringin' the Family Values! Whamageddon is explained, SantaCon NYC rips through the streets and leaves sorrow and pain in its path DESPITE MJ's claims, Mariah Carey celebrates her love of Jackie Zebrowski and (I guess) 1 BILLION streams of her song All I Want For Christmas Is You on Spotify by wearing a DIAMOND ENCRUSTED Prada bucket hat,...
Published 12/14/23
On this weeks Page 7 Jackie and MJ are burstin' with the spirit, but Holden's found his own personal hero AND enemy as Rocking Around the Christmas Tree hits #1 FOR THE FIRST TIME, The Daily Wire spews forth a giant wad of phlegm they call "Lady Ballers" AND Sean Hannity taps Jim Breuer for an equally awful "film", Jackie pushes for a WWE with kisses at the end, Catholic Rob Schneider now worried about making jokes, Jane Fonda doesn't like old skin (listen up you decrepit 21+ers) and there's...
Published 12/07/23
IT'S THE HOLLYDAAAAZE AND HOLDEN RUINED JACKIE'S THANKSGIVING! but the stream definitely made up for it! MJ confronts Jackie and Holden on their Josh Gad hate, The Rock is cookin' up some fancy shmancy ice cream cakes with Salt & Straw, Jackie got her own fancy ice cream cake that was dressed to impress, Snoop Dogg is human clickbait, Jackie's ready to go to bat for Napoleon and there's a spot on rendition of House O GUCCI, people won't let Taylor Lautner ever stop being Jacob (with...
Published 11/30/23