152 episodes

Meet Vanessa and Xander Marin, your new BFF couple friends! She’s a sex therapist with 20 years of experience and he’s a regular dude. Together they’re the shockingly open, slightly nerdy, and seriously funny couple you want to grab sushi with. They share the ups and downs in their relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours. Subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally do-able sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors, and so much more. It’s the sex education you WISH you’d had!

Pillow Talks Vanessa & Xander Marin

    • Health & Fitness
    • 4.9 • 1.9K Ratings

Meet Vanessa and Xander Marin, your new BFF couple friends! She’s a sex therapist with 20 years of experience and he’s a regular dude. Together they’re the shockingly open, slightly nerdy, and seriously funny couple you want to grab sushi with. They share the ups and downs in their relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours. Subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally do-able sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors, and so much more. It’s the sex education you WISH you’d had!

    Breaking Down A Text Fight

    Breaking Down A Text Fight

    You’ve had a fight over text message with your partner, right? Most of us have! Maybe you sent a text to your partner that was a little too snarky, or maybe you read too much into a message. Odds are your text fight did not end well…
    Today we’re breaking down a real text fight one of our followers sent in. It started off as a fight over facial hair, but like most fights do, evolved into something much deeper. We covered topics like body confidence, broken trust, and validation. We point out the things they did right, and the ways things went oh so wrong. You’ll get a fascinating sneak peek into another couple’s conflict, plus tons of communication tips along the way.
    Links & Resources:
    Our Instagram: @vanessandxander
    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!
    Thanks, Green Chef! Go to GreenChef.com/60pillow and use code 60pillow to get 60% off, plus 20% off your next 2 months

    • 55 min
    How To Get Your Partner To Open Up About Sex (Even If They’re Resistant)

    How To Get Your Partner To Open Up About Sex (Even If They’re Resistant)

    If you’re a Pillow Talks listener, you’re probably on board with the idea of talking about sex openly. But what do you do if your partner is a lot more hesitant?
     
    In this episode, we’re going over why your partner might be feeling resistant, and how you can encourage them to open up. You’ll learn our secret to intimacy-building conversation, plus tons of creative (and even sneaky) ways to get your partner to talk about sex.
     
    Links & Resources:
    Book:  Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life (https://sextalksbook.com/)
     
    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!
     
    Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com (http://cozyearth.com/) and get 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS

    • 49 min
    Smash Or Pass? We Try The Wildest Sex Tips You’ve Ever Heard (Volume 3)

    Smash Or Pass? We Try The Wildest Sex Tips You’ve Ever Heard (Volume 3)

    We really went there…
     
    It’s time for another round of Smash or Pass! The series where we find the internet’s weirdest sex tips, try them out, and report back to you with all the details.
     
    We dug deep to find the craziest ideas for us to try, and what we found was well… interesting. We’re even taking you into our bedroom during one of the tips so you can hear our live reaction!
     
    The Countdown Method… using a glove… the Nose Dive method. Are any of these new tips Pillow Talks Approved? You’ll just have to tune in and find out!
     
    Links & Resources:
    Course:  Art Of Initiation (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/the-art-of-initiation/)
    Guide:  Ultimate Foreplay Guides (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/foreplay-guides-2022/)
    Guide:  Next Level Intercourse (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/next-level-intercourse/)
     
    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!
     
    Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow (http://DipseaStories.com/pillow).
     
    Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com (http://cozyearth.com/) and get 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS

    • 57 min
    Partner Having Penis Performance Problems? Here’s What To Do - And What Not To Do

    Partner Having Penis Performance Problems? Here’s What To Do - And What Not To Do

    “This, uh, isn’t working…”
    Most of us have experienced a partner having some performance issues in the bedroom, and feeling wildly confused about what to do. How do you react? What do you say?
     
    And let’s be honest, most of us women take these moments personally. We get into our heads thinking things like, “Am I not attractive enough? Am I bad at sex??”
     
    Today we’re breaking down for you why penis performance issues happen, and how men need you to respond in those extra-sensitive moments. Xander is also helping us non-penis owners understand what’s really going on inside men’s heads, and the pressures men feel around sex.
     
    Links & Resources:
    Guide: Sexual Mastery Package (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/sexual-mastery-package/)
     
    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!
     
    Go to Zocdoc.com/pillow (https://www.zocdoc.com/) and download the Zocdoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor.

    • 41 min
    “Help Me See Where My Partner Is Coming From!” (Advice Episode)

    “Help Me See Where My Partner Is Coming From!” (Advice Episode)

    “I just don’t understand where you’re coming from.”
     
    Have you ever been in the heat of an argument with your partner, and felt totally unable see their perspective on the issue?
     
    We put up a question box on Instagram and asked people to tell us about a conflict where they’re experiencing that kind of genuine confusion. Now, we’re breaking down the trickiest situations to help you see your partner’s point of view in a brand new light. You’ll get a fascinating sneak peek into what other couples fight about, and tons of useful relationship advice you haven’t heard before!
     
    Links & Resources:
    Guide:  Mental Load Workbook (https://vmtherapy.thrivecart.com/mental-load-workbook/)
     
    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!
     
    Thanks EarthBreeze!  EarthBreeze.com/pillow (https://earthbreeze.com/pillow) to subscribe to Earth Breeze and save 40%!

    • 59 min
    Your Sexual Fantasies Revealed

    Your Sexual Fantasies Revealed

    Have you ever wondered what everyone secretly fantasizes about? We anonymously polled our audience, and we’re spilling all the secrets today!
     
    We’re also doing a deep dive on all your fantasy questions. Where do they come from? What do they mean? Is there something wrong with you if you don’t have any?
     
    Links & Resources:
    Guide:  Sexual Bucket List (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/sexual-bucket-list-29/)
     
    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!
     
    Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow (https://DipseaStories.com/pillow).
     
    Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com (https://cozyearth.com/) and get 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS

    • 48 min

Customer Reviews

4.9 out of 5
1.9K Ratings

1.9K Ratings

mattchamema ,

Love it!!

Such a good podcast 🔥🔥 if you are considering listening, just do it!! Wish my wife and I found it sooner it took us years to learn to figure out some of the topics they tackle. Even though we weren’t having issues in our sex life and our conversation has always been open, it is WAY better now then ever!!! Vanessa you are killin it!! Xander, sorry you are not a regular dude any more. You are a best selling author. The book is amazing too. Go buy it!!

Joeamy2012 ,

Helping us one podcast at a time

My husband and I have been in a major slump since some big life changes happened. I feel our marriage slowly being restored as we listen to these together. Some of the episodes have made us crack up laughing or had us pause episodes to talk about certain topics. Thank you for talking about the real life relationship stuff and always taking one for the team on your smash or pass episodes. -Amy and Joe in Washington

Coachjb4364 ,

The BEST podcast for couples

I am absolutely loving this show. I’ve enjoyed the content on social media for years but just started listening to the show a week before my vasectomy. Xander’s honesty made me feel way more comfortable before the procedure, but now I’m tuning in because the other episodes are the perfect blend of hilarious with honest tips for healthy communication. I’m loving how listening has already helped me navigate a few hard conversations with my wife, and I’m hoping that this review serves as the push for another hetero-normative dude to listen in so they can gain these tools to improve their intimacy. Thanks for all you two (and the team!) are doing!

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