Winger
The fog hung thick and I squinted through the windscreen, although I knew these Pennine roads like the back of my hand. I probably could have managed without any vision at all and if I became absent-minded, I was in safe hands. The precise and reassuring handling of the Jaguar XJ8 was there as a back-up and I felt like I was in the hands of what was virtually a driverless car, some twenty odd years before they are even invented. It had been three days now since our Welsh International winger, Bryan Riggs, had been found strangled in the changing room. Bryan had been a lightning fast player and was often too quick for opposition right backs who would carve him down at any opportunity. But strangulation? This sort of foul play had overstepped the mark. Despite being a talented player, Bryan hadn’t been without his enemies and creating a short list hadn’t been easy. But I had to start somewhere, even though at the back of my mind, I knew my priority should probably be focusing instead on the league visit of Brumingham on Saturday for our mid-table six-pointer. I pulled into the town of Brownburn and soon found the cul-de-sac which contained my destination. There were only three houses and I soon honed in on the one I was looking for. Number 47. As I killed the engine of the Jaguar XJK, the rolling monster glided to a stop. At that moment, the door of the house opened and three people emerged. In the middle was Dee Sharpe. He had played for us a few years ago, but the emergence of Riggs had left his opportunities limited and my old mate Peter Penrice had eventually signed him. “Typical,” I murmured to myself, as I surveyed the blonde on each arm. Unlike me, Sharpe had never been able to resist the lure of a temptress. The triumvirate made their way across the street in front of me in a tight formation. It occurred to me that they would make a passable back three, stepping up to catch the opposition offside. I made a mental note to phone Julie later to get her to investigate whether Sharpe’s colleagues were already contracted at professional clubs. “STEPHA BARNES! STEPHA BARNES!” I cursed. Being an instantly recognisable celebrity had its advantages, but when you’re trying to stay incognito while investigating the murder of your Welsh winger, it can be a right old nuisance. Sharpe’s head jolted round and he came back towards the car; he knew why I was here and I was a sitting duck. The Jag was as tough as I had been in my playing days and its Euro NCAP safety rating was unparalleled within its class. But these assessments had been with crash test dummies; Sharpe was no dummy and he now presented me with an entirely different danger. He was nearly at the car, and would have opened the door effortlessly thanks to the efficient mechanism on the inside of the impressive silver chrome handle, had a bullet not ripped through his heart and sent him flailing to the cold and wet tarmac in a heap. I was thankful that it was Sharpe rather than the bodywork of the Jag that had ended up crumpled, although the bullet exiting through his chest had caused an inconvenient scratch on the front wing that would probably start to rust if I didn’t T-Cut it soon. THE END
Efan Ekoku's Drifter via Apple Podcasts · Great Britain · 12/14/19
More reviews of Quickly Kevin; will he score? The 90s Football Show
This podcast has been responsible for several moments of laughter as explosive as Carlos Valderama's hair. A production that can be as slick as a Gheorghe Hagi through ball though but can also go off on tangents as meandering as a Gheorghe Hagi dribble.Read full review »
José Luis Chilavert via Apple Podcasts · Great Britain · 03/28/17
This podcast covers every blade of grass out there.
John Midgley via Apple Podcasts · Great Britain · 03/27/17
Had me from the fantasic title theme and soundbites. Smashing work. Lace up those predators!
Utility player D/M RLC via Apple Podcasts · Great Britain · 02/27/17
Do you host a podcast?
Track your ranks and reviews from Spotify, Apple Podcasts and more.
See hourly chart positions and more than 30 days of history.
Get Chartable Analytics »