“It was the annual Feathers’ Pub Quiz and I’d again paired up with Peter Penrice to defend our crown. Our main competition would come from Cabral and Sir Lawrence. The dancing Brazilian and wealthy benefactor had cleverly christened their team “Tango & Cash” and raced into an early lead spurred by Carbral’s familiarity with popular music. He seemed to know it all, from KC & The Sunshine Band to something called Pulp. I prefer my pulp to be in a delicious glass of hotel orange juice, not on a compact disc.
In the second half they pressed home their advantage thanks to Sir Lawrence’s encyclopaedic knowledge of World War 2. World War 2 was a global war that lasted from 1939 to 1945 costing millions their lives. The great news for us was that Peter Penrice had read Catch 22. Twice. We stayed within touching distance.
As the contest moved into the home stretch Sir Lawrence’s powers began waning. When you begin imbibing whisky at 10am it catches up to you by 9pm, and this left Cabral isolated. He could do many things, like perfectly timings a sliding tackle, or leaping to power home a corner, but he couldn’t tell you that the host of You Bet was Matthew Kelly. The victor would be decided in a sudden death question between me and Cabral. The topic was automobiles. I smirked. This was right in my wheelhouse. I almost laughed out loud at my pun. Then I pondered if a wheelhouse was the same thing as a garage, but snapped back to reality to hear Cabral already shouting answers to the question. What horse power did the 1972 Jaguar XJ12 have? I took a deep breath and announced “311”.
The next thing I remember was a chorus of “Stepha Barnesa, Stepha Barnesa”. Was I back in Rio? No, it was Cabral leading a verse of “Stevie Stevie Barnes, Stevie Barnes, Stevie Stevie Barnes” to the tune of KC & The Sunshine Band’s “Give it Up”. We had won. An hour later, I was forced to squint as I emerged from The Feather’s atrium. There was a constellation of flashbulbs coming from Ledersford Chronicle photographer Dennis Hirwin trying to get the scoop for tomorrow’s paper. I froze momentarily. I didn’t have a blond on each arm like some disgusting lothario did I? No, I had something much better. The Feathers 1997 Quiz Trophy on one arm and my old friend Peter Penrice on the other.”
Nick "Lazaridis" D via Apple Podcasts ·
Great Britain ·
12/20/19