The Prophet’s ﷺ marriage to Zaynab bint Jaḥsh (rA) stands unique among all of his marriages because of its explicit pronouncement in the Qur’an. Despite the stated theological, social, and legal goals the Qur’an posits as the reason for its contraction, the marriage has remained a topic of contention for centuries. This paper examines the many internal and external contradictions that characterize the story, many of which render the lovestruck narrative logistically unfeasible. It will ...