566 episodes

Parent-teen researcher Andy Earle talks with various experts about the art and science of parenting teenagers. Find more at www.talkingtoteens.com

Talking To Teens: Expert Tips for Parenting Teenagers The Members-Only Podcast

    • Kids & Family
    • 4.4 • 169 Ratings

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Parent-teen researcher Andy Earle talks with various experts about the art and science of parenting teenagers. Find more at www.talkingtoteens.com

Listen on Apple Podcasts
Requires subscription and macOS 11.4 or higher

    Ep 288: The Balance of Power in Parent-Teen Relationships

    Ep 288: The Balance of Power in Parent-Teen Relationships

    Tiziana Casciaro, author of Power For All, joins us to explore the intricate power dynamics between parents and their teenage children, shedding light on effective strategies for sharing power, preventing power abuse, and empowering teens to make constructive choices in their lives and communities.

    If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! 
    Full Show Notes
    Raising teenagers presents a unique challenge in the realm of power dynamics. As children enter their teenage years, the once clear-cut power balance between parent and child begins to shift. Teens seek more independence, making decisions that parents may not always agree with, and sometimes even rebelling against parental authority. This shift can lead to frustration, misunderstandings, and power struggles within the family.
    This week on Talking to Teens, we dive deep into the world of power dynamics between parents and teenagers with Tiziana Casciaro, a professor of organizational behavior at the University of Toronto and co-author of the insightful book *Power For All*. Her extensive research and work provide a profound understanding of how power functions and can be used positively within relationships, making her the perfect guide for parents navigating these turbulent waters.
    The Essence of Power in Parent-Teen Relationships
    Tiziana breaks down power as simply the ability to influence others' behavior and explains how this concept applies universally—from the teen wishing to gain more freedom to the parent hoping to guide their child towards certain behaviors. Power dynamics within the family evolve as teens grow, seeking validation and influence beyond their parents, which can dilute the parents' direct influence over them.
    Empowering Versus Controlling
    One key to maintaining a healthy relationship with your teenager is understanding the difference between exercising power over them and empowering them to make their own decisions. Tiziana discusses how sharing power and responsibility with teens can lead to mutual respect and better decision-making. By recognizing and validating their growing need for independence and control over their own lives, parents can foster a relationship based on trust and shared goals rather than on authority and rebellion.
    The Impact of Power on Relationships and Identity
    Tiziana illuminates how power can change people, often leading to overconfidence or inattentiveness to others' needs and desires. This phenomenon applies to both parents and teens as they navigate their changing relationship. Parents must balance their authoritative role with their child's growing need for autonomy, while teens must manage their newfound power without completely rejecting parental guidance.
    Educating Teens on the Use and Abuse of Power
    An essential part of parenting is teaching teens about the implications of power in wider societal contexts, including the importance of democracy, collective action, and moral responsibility. Encouraging teens to critically evaluate the leaders and influencers they choose to follow can empower them to contribute positively to society.
    Strategies for Positive Power Dynamics
    The episode concludes with practical advice for parents on fostering positive and productive power dynamics within their family. By understanding what their teens value and strive for, parents can position themselves as allies in their teenagers' pursuit of happiness, security, and self-esteem.
    Additional Topics Covered:
    - Identifying and supplying what teenagers value as a strategy for shared power.- The role of democracy and collective action in teaching teens about power.- The dangers of unchecked power and the importance of accountability.- Encouraging teens to voice their opinions constructively, even in disagreement.- Real-life examples of power dynamics reshaping family relationships for the better.
    Listening to this episode will provide parents, educators, and an

    • 25 min
    Ep 287: The Science of Raising a Genius

    Ep 287: The Science of Raising a Genius

    Craig Wright, author of The Hidden Habits of Genius, explores the patterns and habits behind history's greatest minds, discussing curiosity, risk-taking, and why genius doesn't always equate to happiness.

    If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! 
    Full Show Notes
    Raising a teenager comes with its unique set of challenges, and one of the most daunting tasks for any parent, teacher, or guardian is nurturing the inherent potential within each young adult. Whether it's about encouraging academic excellence, supporting extracurricular passions, or simply guiding them through the trials of adolescence, the aim is often the same—to help them excel and perhaps, uncover a touch of genius along the way.
    But what really makes a genius? Is it an IQ score that soars off the charts, an unyielding talent in arts, or perhaps something deeper, something nestled within the folds of daily habits and choices? This week on Talking to Teens, we are thrilled to welcome Craig Wright, a Professor Emeritus from Yale and the esteemed author of The Hidden Habits of Genius: Beyond Talent, IQ, and Grit. Unlocking the Secrets of Greatness. With years of experience and research backed by travels across the globe to study history's most remarkable minds, Craig brings a new perspective on what truly cultivates greatness.
    Craig offers a fascinating breakdown of what defines genius, rebuking the traditional confinements of IQ scores and talents as sole indicators of a masterful mind. Instead, he introduces us to the equation G = S * D (Genius = Significance * Duration), opening a dialogue on how significance and duration play into the legacies of known geniuses and how these metrics can apply to our understanding of achievement and brilliance.
    Curiosity Over Scores
    Craig emphasizes the paramount importance of curiosity and broad interests as foundational elements of genius. The quest for knowledge and the eagerness to engage deeply with various topics can often outweigh the benefits of scoring perfectly on standard tests or focusing solely on specialized subjects. He argues that the SATs and academic grades, while important, should not be the be-all and end-all of a teenager's development.
    Embrace Risk and Learn from Failure
    The discussion delves into the idea that true geniuses are not only risk-takers but also individuals who see failure as a springboard for further exploration and discovery. Craig shares insights on how geniuses, despite their unparalleled contributions to humanity, often lead tumultuous personal lives, suggesting a degree of self-centrality required to push the boundaries of convention. Yet, it's this very ability to confront the unknown and recover from setbacks that fuel innovation and exceptional achievement.
    Cultivating Genius at Home
    For parents, the goal isn't to mould their children into the next Einstein or Da Vinci forcibly but to encourage an environment where learning, curiosity, and resilience are valued above all. Craig provides practical advice for fostering a safe space for intellectual exploration, emphasizing the importance of allowing teens the freedom to pursue their interests widely.
    Nurturing Tomorrow's Innovators
    In a world where specialization and immediate gratification often overshadow the virtues of patience and exploration, Craig's insights are a refreshing reminder of the values that truly nurture greatness. He advocates for a broader educational experience—encouraging teens to immerse themselves in liberal arts and humanities to develop empathy, critical thinking, and a broader understanding of the world.
    In this Episode...
    Join us as we discuss more hidden habits of genius, touching upon:
    The importance of moving and exposure to cultural epicentersThe distinction between prodigies and geniusesStrategies for improving concentration and productivityThe role of constraints in fostering creativityDon't miss this enlightening conve

    • 24 min
    Ep 287 [EXTENDED CUT]: The Science of Raising a Genius

    Ep 287 [EXTENDED CUT]: The Science of Raising a Genius

    Craig Wright, author of The Hidden Habits of Genius, explores the patterns and habits behind history's greatest minds, discussing curiosity, risk-taking, and why genius doesn't always equate to happiness.

    Raising a teenager comes with its unique set of challenges, and one of the most daunting tasks for any parent, teacher, or guardian is nurturing the inherent potential within each young adult. Whether it's about encouraging academic excellence, supporting extracurricular passions, or simply guiding them through the trials of adolescence, the aim is often the same—to help them excel and perhaps, uncover a touch of genius along the way.

    But what really makes a genius? Is it an IQ score that soars off the charts, an unyielding talent in arts, or perhaps something deeper, something nestled within the folds of daily habits and choices? This week on Talking to Teens, we are thrilled to welcome Craig Wright, a Professor Emeritus from Yale and the esteemed author of The Hidden Habits of Genius: Beyond Talent, IQ, and Grit. Unlocking the Secrets of Greatness. With years of experience and research backed by travels across the globe to study history's most remarkable minds, Craig brings a new perspective on what truly cultivates greatness.

    Craig offers a fascinating breakdown of what defines genius, rebuking the traditional confinements of IQ scores and talents as sole indicators of a masterful mind. Instead, he introduces us to the equation G = S * D (Genius = Significance * Duration), opening a dialogue on how significance and duration play into the legacies of known geniuses and how these metrics can apply to our understanding of achievement and brilliance.

    Curiosity Over Scores

    Craig emphasizes the paramount importance of curiosity and broad interests as foundational elements of genius. The quest for knowledge and the eagerness to engage deeply with various topics can often outweigh the benefits of scoring perfectly on standard tests or focusing solely on specialized subjects. He argues that the SATs and academic grades, while important, should not be the be-all and end-all of a teenager's development.

    Embrace Risk and Learn from Failure

    The discussion delves into the idea that true geniuses are not only risk-takers but also individuals who see failure as a springboard for further exploration and discovery. Craig shares insights on how geniuses, despite their unparalleled contributions to humanity, often lead tumultuous personal lives, suggesting a degree of self-centrality required to push the boundaries of convention. Yet, it's this very ability to confront the unknown and recover from setbacks that fuel innovation and exceptional achievement.

    Cultivating Genius at Home

    For parents, the goal isn't to mould their children into the next Einstein or Da Vinci forcibly but to encourage an environment where learning, curiosity, and resilience are valued above all. Craig provides practical advice for fostering a safe space for intellectual exploration, emphasizing the importance of allowing teens the freedom to pursue their interests widely.

    Nurturing Tomorrow's Innovators

    In a world where specialization and immediate gratification often overshadow the virtues of patience and exploration, Craig's insights are a refreshing reminder of the values that truly nurture greatness. He advocates for a broader educational experience—encouraging teens to immerse themselves in liberal arts and humanities to develop empathy, critical thinking, and a broader understanding of the world.

    In this Episode...

    Join us as we discuss more hidden habits of genius, touching upon:
    * The importance of moving and exposure to cultural epicenters
    * The distinction between prodigies and geniuses
    * Strategies for improving concentration and productivity
    * The role of constraints in fostering creativity

    Don't miss this enlightening conversation with Craig Wright and discover how you can support the teens in your life in unlocking their potential fo

    Ep 286: Embracing Self-Compassion in Parenting

    Ep 286: Embracing Self-Compassion in Parenting

    Kristin Neff, author of "Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself," sheds light on the pivotal shift from cultivating self-esteem to fostering self-compassion in our children, especially through the tumultuous teenage years.

    If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! 
    Full Show Notes
    Parenting teenagers is an odyssey filled with highs and lows, during which we often focus on bolstering our kids' self-esteem and ensuring they excel. Yet, emerging research pivots our attention towards the essence of self-compassion, a force equally potent yet profoundly different.
    We're joined by Dr. Kristin Neff, a pioneer in the realm of self-compassion. As the author of "Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself" and a mother to an autistic teenager, Kristin introduces us to self-compassion not just as a concept, but as a transformative practice. Through her own journey and extensive research, she's unearthed how self-compassion can be a beacon of hope and resilience for parents and teens alike.
    The Self-Esteem Trap
    Often, our parenting journey is underscored by a drive to boost our kids' self-esteem. However, an overemphasis on self-esteem can entangle our teens in a web where their worth is contingent on accomplishments, appearance, and external validation. Kristin sets the stage for a conversation on why shifting our focus from self-esteem to self-compassion can lead to healthier, more fulfilling adolescent years.
    How do we cultivate an environment of self-compassion in the midst of teenage turmoil? Kristin delves into the practical applications of self-compassion, from understanding its components—mindfulness, common humanity, and self-kindness—to embracing exercises and strategies that foster an inner sense of unconditional worth.
    The Ripple Effects of Self-Compassion
    Drawing from her personal experience with her son, Kristin illustrates the profound impact self-compassion has on parenting. She discusses how embracing our own imperfections as parents and fostering an attitude of kindness and understanding towards ourselves can profoundly influence our children's sense of self-worth, resilience, and overall well-being.
    In a world where teens grapple with identity, societal pressures, and the quest for belonging, self-compassion emerges as a compass guiding them towards authenticity. Kristin explores how self-compassion empowers teenagers to navigate these challenges with grace, encourages genuine self-exploration, and cultivates a robust, unwavering sense of self-worth that isn’t tethered to accomplishments or external approval.
    In This Episode...
    Understanding the distinction between self-esteem and self-compassion.Strategies for integrating self-compassion into daily life and parenting.The transformative power of self-compassion on teenagers’ mental health and self-worth.Practical exercises to foster a self-compassionate mindset in both parents and teens.Join us as we unravel the potential of self-compassion to revolutionize how we parent and empower our teens to lead lives marked by kindness, resilience, and unconditional self-acceptance.
    Listen to this episode, and subscribe to Talking to Teens for more insights into navigating the complexities of raising teenagers with empathy, understanding, and compassion.

    Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

    • 22 min
    Ep 286 [EXTENDED CUT]: Embracing Self-Compassion in Parenting

    Ep 286 [EXTENDED CUT]: Embracing Self-Compassion in Parenting

    Kristin Neff, author of "Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself," sheds light on the pivotal shift from cultivating self-esteem to fostering self-compassion in our children, especially through the tumultuous teenage years.

    Parenting teenagers is an odyssey filled with highs and lows, during which we often focus on bolstering our kids' self-esteem and ensuring they excel. Yet, emerging research pivots our attention towards the essence of self-compassion, a force equally potent yet profoundly different.

    We're joined by Dr. Kristin Neff, a pioneer in the realm of self-compassion. As the author of "Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself" and a mother to an autistic teenager, Kristin introduces us to self-compassion not just as a concept, but as a transformative practice. Through her own journey and extensive research, she's unearthed how self-compassion can be a beacon of hope and resilience for parents and teens alike.

    The Self-Esteem Trap

    Often, our parenting journey is underscored by a drive to boost our kids' self-esteem. However, an overemphasis on self-esteem can entangle our teens in a web where their worth is contingent on accomplishments, appearance, and external validation. Kristin sets the stage for a conversation on why shifting our focus from self-esteem to self-compassion can lead to healthier, more fulfilling adolescent years.

    How do we cultivate an environment of self-compassion in the midst of teenage turmoil? Kristin delves into the practical applications of self-compassion, from understanding its components—mindfulness, common humanity, and self-kindness—to embracing exercises and strategies that foster an inner sense of unconditional worth.

    The Ripple Effects of Self-Compassion

    Drawing from her personal experience with her son, Kristin illustrates the profound impact self-compassion has on parenting. She discusses how embracing our own imperfections as parents and fostering an attitude of kindness and understanding towards ourselves can profoundly influence our children's sense of self-worth, resilience, and overall well-being.

    In a world where teens grapple with identity, societal pressures, and the quest for belonging, self-compassion emerges as a compass guiding them towards authenticity. Kristin explores how self-compassion empowers teenagers to navigate these challenges with grace, encourages genuine self-exploration, and cultivates a robust, unwavering sense of self-worth that isn’t tethered to accomplishments or external approval.

    In This Episode...
    * Understanding the distinction between self-esteem and self-compassion.
    * Strategies for integrating self-compassion into daily life and parenting.
    * The transformative power of self-compassion on teenagers’ mental health and self-worth.
    * Practical exercises to foster a self-compassionate mindset in both parents and teens.

    Join us as we unravel the potential of self-compassion to revolutionize how we parent and empower our teens to lead lives marked by kindness, resilience, and unconditional self-acceptance.

    Listen to this episode, and subscribe to Talking to Teens for more insights into navigating the complexities of raising teenagers with empathy, understanding, and compassion.

    Ep 285: Breaking the Cycle of Teen Drama

    Ep 285: Breaking the Cycle of Teen Drama

    Louis Weinstock, author of "How the World is Making Our Children Mad and What to do About It," explores toxic communication patterns, the impact of societal pressures on teen mental health, and strategies for fostering emotional empowerment and resilience.

    If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! 
    Full Show Notes
    Today's teenagers are navigating an increasingly complex world. With the rise of social media, economic pressures, and an overabundance of information, it's no wonder that parents are seeing an uptick in mental health issues among their teens. From anxiety and depression to learned helplessness, the challenges are myriad, but understanding their root causes is the key to effective parenting in modern times.
    Joining us on this episode is Louis Weinstock, a therapist, co-founder of the charity *A Part of Me*, and author of "How the World is Making Our Children Mad and What to do About It." Louis uses his extensive experience working with troubled kids and teens to discuss the deeper issues affecting our children's mental health and how parents can navigate these challenges to foster resilience, emotional empowerment, and healthier communication.
    Understanding the Impact of Modern Society on Teens
    Louis kicks off our conversation by delving into how society's ever-increasing demands and pressures have contributed to a rise in mental health issues among teenagers. He explains the importance of looking beyond labels and diagnoses to understand the root causes of our children's struggles. The first step toward change, Louis suggests, is for adults to do the inner work required to support our children through these tumultuous times.
    The Power of Emotional Empowerment
    One of the key themes in our talk with Louis is the concept of emotional empowerment versus resilience. He challenges the traditional notion that teens should simply "power through" adversity, advocating instead for a balance between acknowledging one's emotions and finding constructive ways to manage them. Louis offers insights into how parents can encourage their teenagers to be emotionally empowered, rather than resigned to their circumstances or overly reliant on parental rescue.
    Redefining Success and Navigating Social Media
    We also explore the crucial topics of success, social media, and the disconnection from our bodies. Louis presents an alternative view of success that goes beyond competition and material gains, emphasizing the importance of instilling values like kindness and compassion in our children. Additionally, he shares strategies for helping teenagers navigate the complex world of social media and reestablish a healthy connection with their bodies.
    Practical Exercises and Insights
    Throughout the episode, Louis shares a variety of practical exercises and strategies for parents and their teens. From defining family values to engaging in meaningful conversations about uncomfortable topics, these tools aim to challenge toxic patterns, encourage critical thinking, and promote a healthier, more balanced lifestyle.
    In the Episode...
    Exploring the Drama Triangle and its impact on family dynamicsStrategies for breaking the cycle of learned helplessnessThe importance of unconditional love and slowing down in parentingPractical exercises for fostering emotional empowerment and resilience in teensRecommendations for navigating social media and redefining successJoin us for an enlightening discussion full of actionable advice on how to support your teenager through the challenges of modern society. Don't forget to share and subscribe to "Talking to Teens" for more insightful episodes on the art and science of parenting teenagers.

    Follow us on Social Media! We're @talkingtoteens on Instagram and TikTok

    • 23 min

Customer Reviews

4.4 out of 5
169 Ratings

169 Ratings

S9Gwolf ,

Great stuff but….

Love the podcast and you tackle great issues. From a place of gratitude and constructive feedback, I find all your “ahs” and “mmm’s” as the guest is speaking to be quite distracting. Some of your comments are valuable and Of course elucidating followup questions are super valuable. But the noise for noise’s sake makes it hard to stay focused on what the speaker is saying.

eliz4004mom ,

So helpful

Thank you so much for putting so much thought into this show. It has helped my family so much. We’ve replayed so many episodes that explained exactly what we were going through at the time with regards to raising our teen. I highly recommend this podcast to parents of teens. Even if you don’t have challenges at this moment, this podcast will surprise you with how many experts and resources there are available. It’s given us a lot of hope and also help us feel like we’re not the only ones going through this :) Thank you again!!

Michelle B Chang ,

Exactly what I need heading into the teen years

Every speaker is top notch and totally relatable. The pace of the conversation is just right for me, it allows me to think between statements and reflect on my own experience. I really appreciate this podcast. Thank you!

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