On the show today we welcome Xanet Pailet, tantra educator, sex coach, and author of Living an Orgasmic Life. Xanet is here tell us all about her work and how accessing your sexual blueprint and core erotic themes can guide you to a more fulfilling sex life and transform your whole world. We discuss Xanet’s own journey and the events in her life that led up to her current vocation before launching into some examples of the difficulties that people can have accessing and communicating their sexual needs. We talk about lowered libido, sexless marriages, shame and how these relate to our early development and socialization. Xanet gives great insight into simple ways to approach these sensitive subjects and shows just what a difference these measures can make. We finish off the chat thinking about some pragmatic solutions to these issues and ways in which individuals and partners can make progress in this regard. Highlights Some of Xanet’s personal and professional background. The experiences that contributed to her pursuing a career in sexual therapy. An anecdote showing the damage an unspoken desire can do to a relationship. Some of the reasons for sexless marriages and lowered libido. The issue of shame and socialization related to pleasure. An example of the crippling effects of shame on our bodies. Core Erotic Themes and our underlying sexual emotions. How to go about communicating sensitive needs or fantasies.  Using games or apps to start the process of communication. Redefining sexuality and finding ways around tricky needs. Explaining Attachment Theory and it’s different formulations. And much more! Tweetables “I think most women have never really had continuous great sex. I know that’s a big statement to make but I think it’s really true.” [0:08:35.9] “And I think that is what people really need to understand and to realize is that they really need to look at sex in a much, much wider spectrum than what we currently talk about it as.” [0:27:21.6] Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode Xanet Pailet — https://www.ecstaticliving.com/teachers/xanet-pailet Power of Pleasure — https://powerofpleasure.com/ Living an Orgasmic Life — https://www.amazon.com/Living-Orgasmic-Life-Yourself-Pleasure-ebook/dp/B07BWKTWVT/ OkCupid — https://www.okcupid.com/ Jack Morin — https://www.linkedin.com/in/jack-morin-ph-d-0824851a The Erotic Mind — https://www.amazon.com/Erotic-Mind-Unlocking-Sources-Fulfillment-ebook/dp/B009YJYEKK MojoUpgrade — http://mojoupgrade.com/ John Bowlby — https://www.verywellmind.com/john-bowlby-biography-1907-1990-2795514