Episodes
Published 07/23/22
It's the last episode of season 6, and it's an action-packed one! Once the agents get a few mistakes off their chests, they try to break out of the Vault and escape up to Earth. But the agents discover that escape isn't so easy.... especially when there are teenage devils to persuade, key codes to guess, clingy girlfriends to dump, riddles for Casino to answer, and selfless acts to perform. Will they escape? And what year is it out there....? Improvised by: Jesse Chimes, Isabel Galbraith,...
Published 07/23/22
The agents are still stuck together in the Vault, 24/7, and it's transforming them into different people... mothers and Don Drapers and Avon Barksdale types. Tense from being in the Vault for so long, the agents turn on each other. Each agent falls under scrutiny, and comes out looking suspicious, what with Kettle having shot Bobby in the last episode, Bobby having no past, Casino having borne the devil's child, and Corny's big, blank eyes. Mind games give way to pointed sidearms.... but,...
Published 07/16/22
This week, the agents learn that kidnapping and interrogating a potential alien is harder than it looks. Since the previous episode, the agents have kidnapped George (formerly known as Michael), the Amazon deliveryman.  George avoids the agents' attempts to trick him, answers their riddles, and even withstands Casino's advances. His empathy helps the agents realize that they're not living normal lives anymore. Despite this, things go haywire, and let's just say that "little" Lucifer learns...
Published 07/09/22
It's a big day in the Vault: Casino introduces her new son to the podcast listeners. She asks the guys for help raising the baby, but unfortunately they're not totally sure the baby should live. Meanwhile, Bobby's investigation is starting to point to Kettle as a possible alien, and we learn that Kettle's doctor is not a doctor. Both Bobby and Corny recount odd experiences they had going home, with Bobby's man cave now a she shed, and Corny's house now a ghost host. The agents agree that they...
Published 07/02/22
This week, the agent's come to the horrifying conclusion that time doesn't move at a normal rate when they're in the Vault.... after all, Bobby's suddenly out of touch with youth, Casino's missing issues of O Magazine, and Corny's mom is a year older now.  They try to focus on work, including Bobby's movie-related theories, Kettle's alien traps, and footage from the door cam. Plus, Mary the Google Nest witch has gotten into Taylor Swift, and the gang prepares the operating pool for the birth...
Published 06/24/22
After squabbling about chores, the agents share their updates. Bobby is uncovering patterns among the Blu-Rays, and Kettle is administering polygraphs on his days off. Kettle plays a tape of a session with Terrance Hardly, who claims to have been to Area 51. Plus: Corny joins up as Kettle's apprentice once again; Casino asks the guys if they've ever seen Rosemary's Baby; and it's Kettle's birthday! Improvised by: Jesse Chimes, Isabel Galbraith, Bryan Jackson, and Jamal Newman This podcast...
Published 06/18/22
This episode was recorded after another long week in the Vault, and the agents are not happy. They're thirsty, they have an unfair meal rota, the guys are treating Casino like their mom, and Bobby has developed some bad habits. The agents do a teensy amount of investigation into a strange catalog, looking for clues that it's for Martians, and hatch a plan involving the Google Nest.  But by the end of the episode, the agents have gone completely feral, and regress to talking about their...
Published 06/11/22
It’s season 6, and the agents have been reassigned (demoted) to the FBI's UFO Unit. We find out that Kettle is also testifying at the Depp vs. Heard trial; that Bobby's still in therapy; that Corny thinks there's something odd with the Google Nest; and that Casino doesn't know what an Eiffel Tower is. The episode was recorded at the end of a five-day shift in the Vault, which is why the agents are so punchy and filthy, spending an inordinate amount of time describing their own, and each...
Published 06/04/22
To record their last podcast episode of the season, the agents gather at Casino's house for coffee. The agents get an update from Bobby on his mental health, and the standard therapy he's done with Casino. Kettle then opens up about getting plastic surgery to make him look like an amalgamation of Dexter and Corny for his new undercover look. Casino plays a tape from her French/Jewish wedding day with the alleged murderer Chef Luc, which involved confessions, gunshots, cigarettes, stereotypes,...
Published 10/23/21
At an underground coffeeshop, punk baristas bully the agents for being uncool. Kettle shares a clip from the wire he wore at a Blue Lives Matter meeting, which turns out to be populated by a mix of Southern and Australian people. On the wire, we hear Kettle's double-undercover character tell the police supporters what the Black Lives Matters protesters are saying (to their dismay).  Kettle has another tape of an exciting hostage-taking moment, but it's in his car, so instead the agents...
Published 10/16/21
At a homey, Southern coffeeshop, the agents hop into high seats and chat about Brazilian butt lifts. Then, Corny asks for help dealing with an investigation into the Nature's Sunshine vaccine, which Kettle got (along with some of the side effects). That leads the agents to a scary question: will they be prosecuted for crimes committed while undercover? Kettle shares his experience being sent to Rikers after his last undercover mission, and the others apologize for not visiting.  Bobby then...
Published 10/09/21
After dealing with a depressed barista, the agents get an update from Corny about Nature's Promise's newest product. Then, the agents get to hear an excerpt from Bobby's wire, including a nerve-wracking conversation with Tony and an altercation with two Australian criminals.  Improvised by: Jesse Chimes, Isabel Galbraith, Bryan Jackson, and Jamal Newman. Check out PodChef, a Top Chef podcast hosted by Jamal and Bryan!  This podcast features the song “The last sipper and a ring” by Subhashish...
Published 10/02/21
At an unusually pretentious Caribou Coffee, the agents have to barter for regional coffee from Gardenia, the barista; luckily Corny, has Nature's Sunshine butt spray to trade. Once they're settled, Bobby fields a call on Tony's phone from someone demanding money. Kettle shares the logistical struggles of coordinating a disaster between the two BLMs. Casino reveals that she said "oui" to Chef Luc's proposal, but found something disturbing in his bathtub. Also, Tony seems to be using Bobby's...
Published 09/25/21
At Peet's Coffee, the agents deal with an unusual barista, then score a booth. Bobby realizes that he's accidentally swapped pants with his boss, Tony. Casino asks for help understanding Chef Luc's new modus operandi. Kettle shares an excerpt from a speech he gave at both BLM meetings. Lastly, Corny practices selling a sugar alternative to the barista.  Improvised by: Jesse Chimes, Isabel Galbraith, Bryan Jackson, and Jamal Newman. Check out PodChef, a Top Chef podcast hosted by Jamal and...
Published 09/18/21
The agents meet at Starbucks this week to discuss their undercover operations. The gang helps Casino figure out Chef Luc's modus operandi, and yet Casino is reluctant to wrap up her inquiry. Kettle admits that he's fitting in more with the Blue Lives Matter group than with the Black Lives Matter group, prompting a thoughtful discussion of race and identity. The gang also cautions Bobby not to get in too deep with his boss Tony, who's been taking drastic steps that may be connected to open...
Published 09/11/21
It's season 5, and the agents are running undercover operations! To discuss their progress in secret, they meet at Phil's Coffee rather than at the FBI. Casino shares that she's building a profile of a French chef who is suspected of murder, and who is also quite attractive. Bobby is working undercover at a legal THC shop, Sw33tGr33n, where he's become indispensable to Tony, who is a sweet guy. Kettle is working as a double agent by going undercover at Black Lives Matter and Blue Lives...
Published 09/04/21
During the final episode of season 8, Kettle rats on Casino, prompting a discussion of Corny's approach to drug testing, which involves copious amounts of urine. The agents also learn some unsettling things about Dex as Corny rifles through Dex's desk and laptop. And while Bobby didn't get the monopoly-busting position that he'd applied for, he gets a case to solve by the end of the episode! Improvised by Jesse Chimes, Isabel Galbraith (GALBRAITH & MISHORY), Bryan Jackson (PODCHEF) and...
Published 06/05/21
With Dex out on paternity leave, the agents welcome a new member to the team: bagel-deliveryman-turned-FBI-agent Bobby Kendall! He may have failed the test multiple times, but he prevailed, and now has an FBI fob that he keeps in his Kill Bill wallet. And with Dex out on leave, Corny is the Acting Head of Human Resources. Casino gives an update on the Britney case, revealing that both she and Britney have crushes on someone named Jason. And, lastly, we learn that Corny has a lot of sex, and...
Published 05/29/21
The agents accidentally crash their colleague Wendy White's meeting. Wendy and Dex discuss the baby manager that they're about to have, and the agents angle to book the baby on their side projects.  August accidentally insults Wendy, and then feels bad about it, prompting a major reveal.... Improvised by Jesse Chimes, Sean Paul Ellis (NOX, SATURDAY MOURNING CARTOONS), Isabel Galbraith (GALBRAITH & MISHORY), and Jamal Newman (www.jamalnewman.com, Washington Improv Theater (WIT) feature...
Published 05/22/21
Agent August September confesses that he's 30 hours short of earning his polygraph certificate, so the other agents agree to be polygraphed on air to help him reach the goal. Strangely, though, the questions seem centered around former special agent Kettle Black... Improvised by Jesse Chimes, Sean Paul Ellis (NOX, SATURDAY MOURNING CARTOONS), Isabel Galbraith (GALBRAITH & MISHORY), and Jamal Newman (www.jamalnewman.com, Washington Improv Theater (WIT) feature ensemble LENA DUNHAM,...
Published 05/15/21
The gloves come off in today's episode as the agents practice "radical candor." They also hear from SmarterChild, the A.I. that Corny is managing, and learn about Britney Spears' master plan. Plus, the agents debate whether tariffs are dull, and whether Casino is mean. Improvised by Jesse Chimes, Sean Paul Ellis (NOX, SATURDAY MOURNING CARTOONS), Isabel Galbraith (GALBRAITH & MISHORY), and Jamal Newman (www.jamalnewman.com, Washington Improv Theater (WIT) feature ensemble LENA DUNHAM,...
Published 05/08/21
In today's episode, August grills the agents about their thoughts on Kettle Black. Along the way, the agents learn more about SmarterChild, the A.I. program that Corny is managing. The agents agree that SmarterChild's voice should sound posh and British, and give Corny some examples of what it could sound like.  Improvised by Jesse Chimes, Sean Paul Ellis (NOX, SATURDAY MOURNING CARTOONS), Isabel Galbraith (GALBRAITH & MISHORY), and Jamal Newman (www.jamalnewman.com, Washington Improv...
Published 05/01/21
Corny tells the agents about his new TikTok channel on crushing it and finance, then leads them in an affirmations practice that he learned at a management course at the National Harbor. Casino shares her news, which is that she's consulting as a psychiatrist for the Britney Spears conservatorship trial. Does Casino think Britney's insane? Does Casino think she and Britney have a lot in common? Listen to find out. Improvised by Jesse Chimes, Sean Paul Ellis (NOX, SATURDAY MOURNING CARTOONS),...
Published 04/24/21
Published 04/17/21