Narcissists use Rupars to gaslight us. The technique is obnoxious, and effective, and can make us hallucinate they are right, and we are wrong. So what is a Rupar, how does it work, and how can we avoid getting rupared by #narcissists?

Why don't narcissists admit when they get something wrong? There are two reasons. Until we understand them, we are likely to try to get them to see things from our point of view. That is exhausting and frustrating. But once we understand why we can't work through things with them, it becomes easier to stop wasting our time and energy.

When you first realise that someone matches the profile of a narcissist, and you tell your friends, many people will not believe you. There are some common sentences they will use to express. What basically is cognitive dissonance. In this episode, I run through 10 sentences and I share some perspectives and how to approach them.

Narcissists and cults use similar manipulation tactics to wear people down. In this livestream from YouTube, I share some thoughts.

What is the first sign of a toxic dynamic? We often look for behaviours and patterns, but maybe the first sign is a feeling we have, a sinking feeling, not feeling good enough. And maybe the first symptom of that is when we stop doing things that we love and that are good for us. The nice "focus boosting" drink called Magic Mind I mentioned, with many healthy ingredients, has a special offer in January, which you can find here: https://www.magicmind.com/JANfrederikribersson And if you...

Narcissists wear us down. It's the same tactics cults use. And their programming will stay with us for years, until we undo it. So the abuse continues. Why do they do they? And what can we do? The episode is kindly sponsored by Magic Mind, a drink that blends some well recognised mental stimulants to help increase clarity and focus, without overdoing caffeine. This is relevant because the incessant "too little sleep, too much coffee, being awake but jittery, too wound up to sleep, drinking...

Relationships with narcissists can't work out. And the reason is obvious, once we see it. A client was asking if things failed because of what she did, or didn't do, or say, or wear, or some other random detail. No, obviously not. But she was looked at the wrong level. In this episode, I share a simple model and question that help see the big picture and give us much needed perspective. On a different topic, a nice "focus boosting" drink called Magic Mind with many healthy ingredients has...

Though we don't control 100% of our lives, we control more than 0.0% of them. Getting away (and staying away) from narcissists is easier when we make some changes that seem small, but add up. Even in the the worst situations, there are some things we can do. In this episode I share 10 of these tips. The episode is kindly sponsored by Magic Mind, a drink that blends some well recognised mental stimulants to help increase clarity and focus, without overdoing caffeine. This is relevant...

Dr Heidi Brocke realised she was married to a narcissist. They had children. She took the incredibly difficult decision to leave, and leave her children with their father. Why? And what happened? (Spoiler: things turned out well). Now she helps people identify and escape toxic relationships. In this conversation, we discuss our observations around dynamics, share helpful ideas, and more. I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed interviewing Heidi. You can find more information about...

How can a simple 0 to 10 scale help us have a better Christmas, even with narcissists? How can it help us manage our expectations, get less wound up, and maybe even make things better? Tune in to find out. And a Very Merry Christmas to you!

Christmas is supposed to be a wonderful time with our loved ones. But all it takes is one narcissist to spoil this time. Here are a few tips to remember to decrease the likelihood they wind you up and ruin your Christmas. And Merry Christmas, and thank you for following this podcast!

Narcissists are really annoying. Often. But why? Some common beliefs make them hard to understand, but once we see clearly, it makes more sense. I had a few conversations recently trying to decode their logic and motivations. This episode might help you make more sense of their otherwise bizarre behaviour.

Breaking up with a narcissist can be a nightmare, if you decide to: emotional manipulation, guilt tripping, hoovering and more are common as means to torture you into taking them back, so they can extract more energy from you. But is there a way to get them to leave you so that they... leave you alone? Maybe. Tune in to find out.

With narcissists, there always is a first moment we sense something is wrong. A strange look. A fight coming out of nowhere. A suggestion they think we are a bad person. Them stabbing us in the back (or the face). What can we learn from this? How can we use this to reduce the risk of being taken advantage of in the future? I share some thoughts and stories.

We often wonder why narcissists don't change. It seems illogical, yet it is what we observe. But... why would they change? Here are some thoughts on why they don't - and why we don't want to change either.

Narcissists play toxic games. Many of these are common and can be recognised. In this episode, I share some tips to recognise games and we analyse a few of the games narcissists commonly play, as well as a few suggestions to avoid getting up in autopilot. You can read more about these games here: https://ericberne.com/games-people-play/im-only-trying-to-help-you/

Narcissists use double standards to create conflict. How? They escalate debates using semi-bad faith methods, being a bit provocative - but when we match them, they accuse us of doing what they did. What can we do? Tune in to find out!

Narcissists want us to turn against the people who actually have our backs. Why? It isolates us, makes us easier to manipulate - and makes it easier for THEM to do the manipulation.

When talking with narcissists and toxic people, we can get caught in bad faith arguments. How can we recognise this and avoid getting stuck in narc logic and, instead, highlight how their logic is illogical, unhealthy and dishonest? In this podcast exclusive episode, I share a few tips. Remember to tune in on YouTube at www.youtube.com/c/fribersson for more episodes.

Narcissists trick us into interacting with them. How? This short parable illustrates some of their tricks - and the second part of this episode deconstructs the main ideas. So you hopefully are less likely to get scammed again in the future!

If you have ever tried to warn people that someone might be a narcissist or is toxic, you probably noticed it almost never works. Why is that? In this podcast exclusive episode, I share some hypothesis, as well as some suggestions that have worked more often.

Psychometrics can be key in understanding ourselves in general. However, they become particularly illuminating when we seek to understand toxic dynamics with narcissists. I was delighted to interview Dr Stewart Desson, CEO and Founder of Lumina Learning, the psychometrics tool I use with my clients. A few features I particularly like with Lumina are: - a breakdown into 8 aspects of personality - each divided in 24 qualities - each divided into three "personas": when we are relaxed, how ever...

Narcissists conflate us describing things as they are, with saying how we want things to be. Using this simple picnic metaphor can help us avoid this trap.

Last night I witnessed a woman abusing her boyfriend over dinner. She operated in 6 stages to break him down. I share those six stages and some ways to reduce the risk of being hurt in such situations.

When a narcissist breaks up with us, that is commonly referred to as a "discard". However, today I came across a tweet from psychotherapist Jonathan Shedler that mentioned being "shrugged off". There is an emotional quality to this expression which I think is highly relevant to situations with narcissists.