Episode two hundred and thirty eight of the damn TickyOff is what they call a doozy. I am however concerned that I have no idea who they are and what exactly a doozy is. Anyway, it is what it is, just do it, I’m lovin’ it, etc. The T-Boyz begin irritated at tedious people and the low standard of pandemic gags on Twitter., James has a new bike and may have taken his children to a dogging spot. Sam meanwhile makes a ‘vegetarian’ kimchi jigae and buys some mashed potato. Then Phil Bracey...

This episode of TickyOff is a true first for humankind. Unlike the moon landings and ventriloquism however, this is real. It’s the first transatlantic episode. That’s right. The TickyOff Two thumb their noses at many vast bodies of water, none more so than the Atlantic. They fling their mouthsounds from these foul green shores of Albion across that pathetic puddle of an ‘ocean’ and in return, from Gotham City aka NYC, they hear the mouthsounds of Youngmi Mayer, comedian and Mission Chinese...

It’s been a tough week for the TickyOff Boyz with not a whole lot of positives to kick off with. However, things could well be looking up, James has some solo chop-time upcoming alongside a snack of squid. In other cephalopod news Sam heard rumour of some cuttlefish nearby but didn’t find them and instead spent too much money on tomatoes. Moving past these epic rubbery seafood tales they get to talking bookshelves and the books upon them. Sam bought a fine book from Alcatraz and James reads...

Right, guess what? It’s still lockdown and jokers are still joking on with jokey joke sourdough. Therefore, The TickyOff Boyz decided as a public service to invite on a real bread whisperer to school you jokers. Martha Delacey (@marthadelacey) is here and she’s upending a yeasty, grainy, floury, rising, dutch oven full of bread related knowledge upon yr joker heads. Martha schools all on not following recipes, calming the hell down and her experiences setting up online classes during...

The episode of TickyOff that lies before your ears contains four mouths. Two of these mouths belong to the TickyOff Boyz. One each. One apiece. The remaining two mouths belong to the TickyOff Boyz wives. You come to each episode of TickyOff searching for qualities you cannot find in other podcasts. Traits such as speedy wit, semi-raw sexuality, towering intelligence upon such subjects as ghosts and skillets. Some people would tell you that these things do not in fact exist upon, within,...

The very definition of ‘scenes’ on this episode of TickyOff, Sam has grown a moustache. It is foul. Be grateful you cannot see it and only have to hear about it. Meanwhile, James has cooked a disappointing lunch, they both discuss a controversial article by chef Gabrielle Hamilton and Sam completely misunderstands the plot of ‘The Lion King’. Then author Evie Wyld arrives for her second appearance on the damn pod. Evie’s mouth creates noises which we, and you, interpret via human ears. These...

This episode of TickyOff features a second appearance by Tim Anderson, (@cheftimanderson) chef owner of Nanban and cookbook writer. Tim talks recording the Kitchen Cabinet during lockdown, using up strange flours in his pantry, and the benefits of laugh tracks. Tim also gets into disliking restaurant food despite being a restaurant owner, katsu sandos, caponata and selling his plasma to buy an iPod. Before Tim arrives, James tries to think of his five perfect films, attempts to film a potato...

This episode of Thine TickyOff (we do it all for you because we are kind and generous) features Joe Warwick creating mouthsounds, with his mouth of all things. It’s quite the performance. Joe is fresh from a tricky Instagram Live debut with Rene Redzepi of Noma and Amanda Cohen of Dirt Candy in NYC. Joe makes it very clear that his appearance on TickyOff is a far greater honour than yapping it up with the ant man and the veggie botherer… Before Joe arrives, Sam ‘reveals’ he’s hungover and...

This episode of The World’s Greatest and Most Popular Podcast Ever Made, Thee TickyOff, features Alex Andreou, writer, cook, man about Twitter and a whole bunch of other stuff no doubt. Alex calls in from Mykonos to discuss burning bread, elongating time, preparing snails for dinner, annoying Italians and some high grade tekkers on how to make a Greek burger. There’s also some very honest, and if I’m being honest, very moving, chat from Alex about caring for his mother in the late stages of...

James has shaved his head. It looks decent. Sam has recently eaten a saveloy in a mildly disturbing manner. And with a foundation like that, how could The TickyOff Boyz fail to deliver yet another episode of podcastical genius? Spoiler alert, they don’t fail. It’s an absolute aural triumph that the world should be very grateful for indeed. Today they are ably assisted by food writer Jonathan Nunn. Jonathan discusses lockdown forcing him back into the kitchen, his fear of baking and how much...

This Easter episode of Thee Most Holy TickyOff features a second appearance by chef and owner of King restaurant in NYC, Jess Shadbolt (@jessieshad) Jess is in lockdown in the wilds of Essex fighting over her mother’s stove, drinking lots of rose and watching Floyd get drunk across France in some relaxing British cookery television classics. Jess describes the coronavirus shutdown of NYC, how she’s trying to keep her business afloat, the coming together of the US hospitality industry and her...

This was the last episode of TickyOff recorded within the hallowed walls of the hallowed TickyOff Towers. Said episode was recorded at the start of the coronavirus hell that we all find ourselves in. Please forgive any comments underestimating the challenge that would present itself to us all following this. We didn’t know. We ain’t Marty McFly. And James ain’t Doc Brown. Anyway, its a great damn episode. Sami Tamimi and Tara Wigley of the Ottolenghi empire are here to talk their new book...

John Craven of 'Newsround' fame is sadly not on Thee TickyOff today. If I’m being entirely honest then I can’t remember why I named this episode ‘John Craven’. All I know is that John Craven is mentioned at some stage. I wonder how John Craven is. I hope he’s holed up with his loved ones and taking good care of himself. Great jumpers, great news related mouth sounds, great guy. Anyway, J Crave ain’t here but we have someone far better, Zoe Adjonyoh is here. Zoe utilises her mouth to create...

Yeah yeah yeah. TickyOff is back. Wake up. What else do you have to do with your time? Today James and Sam kick off with some lockdown boozing chat, a little Michael Gove yap and they wonder a while on whether their wives should guest upon the TickyOff. Then Ryan Riley of Life Kitchen appears before them digitally via the new found miracle of video conferencing technology and those two digital mouths become three digital mouths and all three mouths speak, digitally on a number of topics....

Today on the damn TickyOff cook and author Jack Monroe is back. Jack reveals all about their hashtag #jackmonroeslockdownlarder and what’s been going on at Tin Can Cook HQ since the coronavirus lockdown began. It seems to involve twenty one hour work days, an undercut rapidly growing out of control and the wearing of many hats. Jack also discusses maintaining their sobriety during this crisis, why stewed steak is a great product and wondering why the Daily Mail is now being nice. Before Jack...

The second episode in yer ears this week was recorded, in a first for TickyOff Technologies, via Zoom. So forgive the occasionally ratty sound quality, we’ll get better. One positive is, for anyone who dislikes James, his signal sucked so he vanishes for large swathes of the pod. However he does then pop up near the end with an absolute worldy of a zinger concerning Richard Gere. In the midst of this technological ballyhoo, praise be to writer, restaurateur, journalist and all round legend...

This episode of TickyOff was recorded before the sweeping shut down of restaurants across the UK. Humble apologies therefore for any out of date statements. Having said that, if you’re listening to TickyOff for well considered and cutting edge thoughts…you’ve got bigger problems to focus on. This week James and Sam are joined by Neil Rankin, chef and owner of Simplicity Burger on Brick Lane in London. Neil utilises his mouth to create sounds concerning good agriculture, why he decided to...

This special episode of TickyOff features Will Beckett of the Hawksmoor restaurant group discussing the impact of the Covid-19 virus on the world of hospitality. James, Sam and Will discuss the impact on Pidgin, Sons + Daughters and the Hawksmoor restaurants around the country. They answer some questions received through Twitter and Instagram and discuss the hospitality industry’s response. This is an extremely fast moving situation and perhaps TickyOff isn’t the perfect medium to discuss...

Today on TickyOff, the TO2 begin with no energy, a frog orgy, a roti to the face of a small screaming child and some really interesting hat chat. With a power start like this, there’s only one way to go, up. Up in a lift, as Sam rambles on about lifts in restaurants for way too long. The reason behind all these elevator mouth sounds is soon revealed when this week’s guest arrives. Patrick Powell is the chef behind Allegra in Stratford and Allegra has itself a fine lift situation. Fortunately...

Revolutionary moments happen rarely in life. This week could well be one of them however. This week The TickyOff Boyz are releasing, for the very first time in TickyOff history, Episode 220. They have never before released the two hundred and twentieth episode of the podcast. That’s right, this week, history is made. Be there at the birth of something incredible. Download this episode and become pioneers, brave voyagers, the lucky few on the cutting edge of cultural achievement. We are...

The greatest night in podcast history lies before your ear holes. Mouth sounds delivered with panache, aplomb and lets be very honest here, a semi-raw eroticism. The TickyOff Awards 2020. A recording which will no doubt go down in the annals of humankind. Whatever ‘annals’ are. Sam is wearing a delightful couture gown. James, a horsehair tuxedo. Together they raise the art of award show hosting to levels hitherto unknown by homosapiens. Before the awards begin The TickyOff Boyz also...

Yeah yeah, it’s TickyOff again. It’s another week, another episode, yet another glittering aural extravaganza that has put James and Sam on the covers of Time Magazine, Pulitzer Weekly, The Hollywood Reporter, Nuts, Railway Modeller, Playgirl and The Chichester District Council in-house quarterly. Verbal performances at this level have also seen The TickyOff Two hosting world events such as The Oscars, The Grammys, Rear Of The Year and that restaurant magazine one sponsored by a Spanish beer...

It’s a low energy start for Thee TickyOff Boyz this week. James deep dives into a steaming bowl full of pommes aligot while Sam has again been watching far too many films. They discuss cold rice, drinking paraffin and drinking tequila. Sam also finds time to take a few more swings at a friend of the podcast for a shoddy salad recipe. Then Tim Siadatan of Trullo and Padella fame shows up and things get deep on the excitement of pre-opening a restaurant, new kit giddiness, following up a hit...

TickyOff is back! Back with a new episode after last week’s episode of TickyOff. That is correct. Your ears do not deceive you. TickyOff has returned seven days after it was last within your ears. It is truly un be god damn lievable…. This week we begin with a strange few minutes of yap involving Dr Dolittle, Grayson Perry, Daniel Day Lewis and Roald Dahl. Baffling, inane, nonsensical perhaps, but classic TickyOff all the same. Then hospitality PR titans Gemma Bell and Alice Grier of...

Hello. This is TickyOff. If you don’t know the drill by now then wake up. This is the 215th episode of this jazzy chat based ballyhoo and it’s a damn fine one. This week James opens huge with a long chat about an imaginary engine, goes to the pub with his children and has a weird obsession with doughnuts. Sam just about manages to equal this unbelievably top rate chat by de-icing cats, arguing with a customer about sourdough and possibly becoming pregnant. Then chef and restaurateur Gary...