The Problem With Perfect Robin May and Denise Bickel

In times of crisis or as individuals approach life's end, it's often said that doubts about faith and spirituality come to the forefront—even for those who don't consider themselves religious. This phenomenon is sometimes captured in the adage, "There are no atheists in a foxhole."
Addressing the needs of those who haven't adopted a religious or spiritual identity involves sensitivity and care. Certain clichés and overused expressions are best left unsaid. Instead, finding the right language that offers genuine comfort and solace is key to providing meaningful support.
Reverand Richard Sullivan, a hospice chaplain, will join us today to provide insight and guidance for those nearing the end of their life, and for those who love them.  

Special Guest: Reverend Richard Sullivan
Reverend Richard Sullivan is an ordained minister with the General Council of the Assemblies of God headquartered in Springfield, Missouri. Richard has been a credentialed minister since 2007. In addition to his pastoral education, Richard completed four units of Clinical Pastor Education. Richard served on staff as an ecclesiastical endorsed chaplain with Boone Health for 17 years, providing support as a staff chaplain, hospice chaplain, and Lead Chaplain of Spiritual Care Services. During his years of ministry with Boone Health, Richard was active in bereavement care services, as well as, palliative care and ethics committees. His role also included working with patients and community members in education and completion of healthcare directives and durable power of attorney. Richard currently serves as lead pastor of Summit First Assembly of God, Holts Summit, Missouri and Legacy and Care pastor at Columbia First Assembly. Since July 2021, Richard, along with his wife Kellie, own and operate Bluegrass Senior Living in Ashland, Missouri.

In this week's installment of What To Know Before You Go, we explore the complexity of grief. Grief is a universal and intrinsic aspect of what it means to be human. Each experience of grief is deeply individual and intricately linked to the nature of the loss. 

Some individuals struggle with Anticipatory Grief, a profound sadness that precedes the death of a loved one suffering from a terminal condition. Chronic Sorrow is another facet of grief, often described as 'a normal reaction to an abnormal situation,' the response to an ongoing loss when an illness or disability is permanent and life-altering. When loss strikes suddenly and intensely, such as in the case of an unforeseen accident or suicide, one may endure Complicated Grief, marked by its traumatic impact and challenging road to healing.
As we delve into the various phases and stages of grief, it is crucial to acknowledge the unique nature of each person’s grieving process. There is no singularly correct way to navigate through grief, provided that the responses are not harmful. 

Join us in our exploration of the multifaceted nature of grief and share in the coping techniques we offer to manage this profound emotion.


Show notes:
Welcome to Holland Poem: https://www.hannahshope.org/pdfs/Welcome_To_Holland.pdf.
Smiling Through Your Tears: Anticipating Grief – Harriet Hodgson, BS, MA & Lois Krahn, MD

Ever considered the unforeseen consequences of putting off estate planning? Let's face it, it's not just about drafting a document – it's about ensuring your legacy thrives and your wishes are honored. Advance care planning extends beyond creating an Advance Directive or discussing our end-of-life wishes. It encompasses crucial legal and financial considerations that play a significant role in ensuring that all of a person's preferences are fully honored. 

Discussing finances and assets can often be a taboo subject within families. The legal jargon can be intimidating, and the thought of consulting a lawyer can be unsettling. However, it's crucial to explore questions like: Should you draft a Will or establish a Trust? Who have you entrusted as your Durable Power of Attorney? What does the term "Medicaid spenddown" imply?

In this discussion on Estate Planning, we'll be diving into these topics with the expertise of attorney Brett Barton at our side. Our conversation illuminates the pitfalls of deferring this essential life task and provides a compelling call to action to take control of your estate planning journey before it's too late.
As part of our ongoing series, "What To Know Before You Go," we invite you to delve into the intricacies of Estate Planning with us. Just like completing an Advance Directive, preparing for your estate is more than a mere task; it's a gift that provides peace of mind and eases the burden for your loved ones.

Special Guest: Brett Barton 
Brett is licensed to practice law in Missouri and Iowa and practices solely in the area of Estate Planning and all that it encompasses.  Brett has over 25 years of experience and is a frequent speaker on the topic of Medicaid Planning and the protection of assets from nursing home spenddown.  Brett is married and has four children, one grandchild, and another on the way.  His hobbies include snow skiing, table tennis, and European board games.

Of the many roles women undertake in their lifetime, the act of caregiving stands out as one of the most universal and demanding. The Institute on Aging reports that women make up roughly 75% of caregivers and typically dedicate up to 50% more time to caregiving duties compared to their male counterparts. It appears that being a woman—whether you're a daughter, daughter-in-law, distant relative, or simply a friend—often means taking on the responsibilities of caregiving with family and friends.

Caregiving comes with a host of challenging effects. Absorbing the financial costs associated with caregiving is often problematic. Time away from work for medical appointments, along with the expenses associated with medications, necessary medical equipment, and the hiring of supplementary private care to alleviate the primary caregiver's duties, can be financially overwhelming. Beyond the monetary impacts, caregiving can also lead to severe emotional and physical fatigue. And as the baby boomer population prefers to age in their own homes, the demand for more comprehensive aid and support from caregivers escalates.

Join us as we welcome Lauren Eisleben, Clinical Director at IMF Counseling. Lauren brings her extensive experience as a Licensed Professional Counselor to the “Family and Friends Groups” aimed at supporting caregivers. With her specialized knowledge in aiding those who care for individuals with chronic illnesses, mental health issues, substance use, and eating disorders, Lauren provides invaluable guidance. Her compassionate approach not only recognizes the challenges caregivers face, but she also offers empathetic, constructive advice to caregivers and those who support them.

Show notes:
To learn more about Lauren Eisleben, go to: https://imfcounseling.com/therapists/lauren-eisleben

Caregiver Support Groups: https://caringbridge.org/resources/caregiver-support-groups

The Emotional Cost of Caregiving: https://online.simmons.edu/blog/emotional-cost-of-caregiving

Caregiver Bill of Rights: https://www.caregiver.org/resource/caregivers-bill-rights

Caregiving Is Crucial: How To Support Caregivers And Why It Matters So Much:
https://www.forbes.com/sites/tracybrower/2021/08/14/caregiving-is-crucial-how-to-support-

The U.S. population is older today than it has ever been. In fact, one-fourth of the total population is 65 or older. Researchers predict a 47 percent increase in this demographic between 2022 and 2050, resulting in 82 million citizens 65+ years old. Approximately 10,000 baby boomers will turn 65 every day for the next few decades.

The fact individuals are living longer, divorcing later in life, and choosing to live alone and age in their homes has resulted in a significant caregiver gap. Whether you are a baby boomer or love someone who is, the likelihood is you will find yourself in the caregiver role at some time in the future.
Preparation, knowledge, and advance care planning are paramount to navigating what some are calling the Silver Tsunami. 

Our April series on various aspects of advance care planning, the benefits of palliative care and hospice, as well as support and suggestions for caregivers is intended to elicit conversations, provide knowledge, and prepare those who embark on the caregiving role. 

Special Guest:
Dr. Jaymi Meyers is with us today to continue our discussion about all things hospice. Dr. Meyers is a family medicine physician, palliative care specialist, and hospice medical director in Seneca, SC. He studied at the University of Iowa (home of Caitlin Clark) and currently practices at
Oconee Palliative Medicine and is affiliated with Prisma Health Oconee Memorial Hospital.

Today, we delve into the concept of toxic positivity. Recognizing and appreciating the optimistic intentions behind encouraging words from our loved ones is crucial. However, it's just as critical to remember that expressing our emotions authentically, including the painful, fearful ones, should come without the burden of guilt or shame.

Toxic positivity is the belief that no matter how difficult or dire a situation is, people should maintain a positive mindset. We’ve all been there…the friend who reminds us to “Cheer up, it could be worse,” or a family member who encourages us with “Everything happens for a reason.” That’s toxic positivity.

When bad things happen to good people, it's often difficult for their loved ones to stand by and watch their struggle. While comments filled with toxic positivity are intended as encouragement, they don't always offer the solace we seek. The reality is that there are certain life events that positivity alone cannot overcome. Indeed, at times, toxic positivity may intensify the emotional distress someone is feeling.

Please join us as we deconstruct toxic positivity. Why it's harmful, what it sounds like, and how to avoid and cope with toxic positivity in our relationships with others.

Show Notes:
Toxic Positivity – Why It’s Harmful and What to Say Instead: https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-toxic-positivity-5093958