Episodes
What have I missed? Let me know. Email me. Tweet me. What have I missed? Subscribe at craigburgess.substack.com
Published 01/19/22
Published 01/19/22
It’s January. We’re all banging on about “building habits” like we’re building Lego. We’re all talking about becoming “better versions of ourselves” (whatever that means), learning “healthy habits” (whatever that means) and trying to stop making “bad habits” (whatever that means). Well. I’m not. I already failed my resolution. So let’s lean into my mistakes, shall we? Subscribe at craigburgess.substack.com
Published 01/12/22
We’ve all got ‘em haven’t we? We’ve been thinking about ‘em for a few weeks. Dreaming about ‘em. Planning for ‘em. Imagining what it might feel like to achieve ‘em. How beautiful it’d be to finally climb that mountain. Finally feel accomplished. Finally achieve something. That’d be nice wouldn’t it? I suppose it would. I wouldn’t know. I just failed my 2022 resolution with this podcast. Enjoy. IN THIS WEEK’S AUDIO SHOW NEWS LISTENER MISSIVES BANNED WORDS BIN OR BAND WORDS BIN I...
Published 01/05/22
Well that’s it. We killed 2021. It’s over. To celebrate its death I put together a super-duper-bumper-dumper episode this week. A real hum-dinger of a send-off for a year most of us will probably want to forget. I’ve even invented new features for you this week, because I’m a generous god. This week: SHOW NEWS LISTENER MISSIVES BANNED WORDS BIN OR BAND WORDS BIN “I WOULDN’T SAY” F IS FOR FAKE BILL BURR NAVAL GAZING JEAR CLAIMS TOBY’S TITULAR TIPS THE ACTUAL CONTENT Enjoy? Have a...
Published 12/29/21
As a Christmas treat I’ve discovered a draft version of a book that Robert Greene never released: The 48 Laws of Christmas Power. Enjoy. But more importantly: don’t listen to this and go enjoy your Christmas. If you’re curious, the full draft laws are below. If you want to enjoy them in the epiosde, ignore them. SPOILER BELOW. SPOILER BELOW. SPOILER BELOW. Maybe you want to spoil it for yourself. Never outshine the Christmas master Never put too much trust in Christmas friends but...
Published 12/22/21
James, so Clear of his purpose, asked James to Clear something up for him. This was a second James who was Clear of the first James. Just to Clear that up. “James,” Clear said with James in mind but Clear intentions, “James, Clear something up for me.” James obviously wanted to Clear up the confusion. No James likes being less than Clear of a situation. “James, what is a habit? The idea is not Clear to me.” “Oh my dear James. You must Clear this up for yourself.” “James, what do you...
Published 12/15/21
You decide to take a stand. This is it. You’ve had enough of it all. They’re all the same. They treat you like sh*t. They pretend to like you, they don’t really like you. You decide to take a stand. Sure, they send you messages and make you feel good. They give you good advice. Sometimes they even write you a useful thread. You even bookmarked that last one. You’ll read it one day. But you’ve had enough. You decide to take a stand. You take one last look at it. Millions of opinions fed...
Published 12/08/21
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but this is The Wednesday Audio. In this episode: I introduce new sound effects I introduce beer I introduce Jear Claims I introduce Listener Missives I introduce a feature I get interrupted by somebody I finish the podcast Welcome. Subscribe at craigburgess.substack.com
Published 12/01/21
I mean it’s all pointless isn’t it. This stuff I write here doesn’t get read. You scan it to see what this episode is about and when you realise I’m not going to give you that you move on and ignore it. That’s all it is. This is just c*ntent. It’s a means to an end as Thomas J Bevan would say. It’s here to get you to perform an action, not to actually enjoy your time here. It’s just filler. The wallpaper in the house. The pretty bow on the present. Maybe even the wrapping paper. When are we...
Published 11/24/21
It is Wednesday once again. Yes. Welcome. In this week’s episode: I try a more professional opening after watching some YouTube videos I actually have sympathy listener missives and try to be thankful I have the most ins*ghtful thing James Clear has ever said and I try to be impressed Enjoy? P.S. Your feedback is always appreciated. It is highly likely it will be featured in the next episode. I insincerely apologise. Subscribe at craigburgess.substack.com
Published 11/17/21
Hello? Hello? Are you still there? I think Carlos might have messed up my audience. First I asked Carlos to help me increase listeners. He told me to ask for reviews. Then I asked him for more tips, and he told me to be happier so I started telling jokes. THEN I asked him to help me develop an engaged audience and I think he’s messed everything right up. Is this still working? Let’s show Carlos who’s the real boss around here. Pop me a message. Let me know. Subscribe at...
Published 11/10/21
Hullo. It is Wednesday. That means I reach my hand outside of the prison bars I have put around myself to deliver you another piece of v*lue packed full of c*ntent ready for your perusal. This week: I discover I say ‘hello’ weird I discover this podcast is weird I discover you’re weird for listening I discover that our podcast rankings are dropping I discover that by saying ‘our’, you are partially responsible We solve The Switzerland Debacle We find another Jear Claims We enter...
Published 11/03/21
P.S. I refer to this episode as the 21st episode. It is not. It is the 24st. P.P.S. The episodes are slowly getting longer. I will never apologise for this. P.P.S.S. I missed out half of the listener missives this week. I’m sorry. I’ll try to be better. PPPSS. The Jear Claims bit is good this week. You’ll enjoy it. PPPSSS. The internal monologue I have with myself is quite funny time. You’ll love a bit of that. PPPPSSS(?). Go listen to The Wednesday Audio. Bye bye. Subscribe at...
Published 10/27/21
Art
I went out tonight to enjoy a lovely movie. I had a lovely night out, lovely company. Even had a meal. It wasn’t lovely, it was TGI Fridays and it was actually quite lacklustre, especially seeing as though they didn’t bring over any cutlery and I had to eat my starter with my hands and then the cutlery they did bring was comically large especially the knives, but I had a lovely evening. Then I come home and I have people moaning at me that I haven’t done the Wednesday Audio. Messaging me on...
Published 10/20/21
Welcome to another edition of my podcast that is exclusively about Wednesdays, recorded on a Wednesday and driving for a better Wednesday for all except me. This week: I decide to talk about c*ntent I speak to you I pretend to value your input Graeme says my name wrong I throw some words in the Banned Words Bin I read out some tweets I love (?) I talk about Wednesdays I get bored of writing these bullet points I forget where I am in the episode I realise I still need to eat some...
Published 10/13/21
First of all, apologies. I’ll get back to writing stuff soon. I’m enjoying making these stupid podcasts at the minute. In this week’s episode: V*alue Lots of c*ntent I tell Mike how he can listen to more of my podcasts I read out reviews I read out your comments I read out Carlos’ reply I give you an update on podcast positions I talk about the Value Trap Thank you. Bye bye. P.S. Amazingly, my podcast is now available to listen elsewhere. See Pod Link to signup with your...
Published 10/06/21
In this week’s episode: Carlos tells me I must ask for more reviews I ask for more reviews I keep asking for reviews Have you thought about reviewing? I say some stuff about content voice Enjoy. Bye bye. Get on the email list at craigburgess.substack.com
Published 09/29/21
The Wednesday Audio is back in its exclusive Wednesday spot, where I only talk about Wednesdays, on a Wednesday, exclusively on a Wednesday. Last week was a temporary shift-change required because I wasn’t going to be at my computer and I wasn’t going to change my entire schedule just so you could get a genuine Wednesday Audio experience. Anyway. In this week’s episode: I have recorded on a Wednesday this time I go through your comments Graeme asks me to keep something out of the banned...
Published 09/22/21
First of all I apologise for my transgressions. This episode was recorded on a Tuesday. I have falsified the records. I have faked the podcast. The curtain has been drawn back only to reveal an empty open bird cage. Your bird escaped. You are sad. Tim probably hit it in the last episode. Anyway. In this week’s episode: I hit the gong I record on a Tuesday instead of a Wednesday I talk about Clames Jear I read out your silly comments I read out my silly comments I accidentally rant...
Published 09/15/21
Happy Wednesday. It’s a return to normal programming this week without Thomas. In this week’s episode: Mike starts Mike Wars We await Mike’s response John 1 gives feedback John 2 tells a story Tim hits a bird We find out what James Clear’s top tip about creativity is V*alue C*nsistency I talk about a*dience-b*ilding the right way As always, send me in your nonsense. I love reading it. I love taking the piss out of it. I love you really. Bye bye. Get on the email list at...
Published 09/08/21
You’re so lucky today that I’ve given you two pieces of quality, broadcast-level content. As Thomas and I intellectually battled with the idea of James Clear in our last episode, in this episode we got into the meat of all the hot topics of the day. In this episode: We discuss NFTs We discuss Smart Contracts We discuss Dumb Contracts We discuss Smart Dumbs We discuss Dumb Smarts We discuss content vs art We discuss art vs content I discuss my sanity with myself as I type this list...
Published 09/01/21
Another Wednesday is upon us and that can only mean one thing: I have to record another one of these things like a performing monkey. I have to sit down with mic (not Mike, we found him) and pretend to be sad and pretend to be funny and pretend to like talking to you and pretend Wednesdays are fun and pretend I’m not just doing all this to ‘build an audience’. Happy Wednesday. I just recorded 1.5 hours of things with Thomas J Bevan. This is part 1 of 2 that you will get to listen to...
Published 09/01/21
We’ve lurched towards another Wednesday and my ceremonial activity of calling in the Wednesday has arrived. Happy Wednesday. It’s actually a sad Wednesday for me today because I think we’ve lost Mike. He used to leave me comments each week and we had a bit of a laugh and he said it was the only podcast he listened to. Somewhere along the way I’ve probably annoyed him and he’s gone. Sorry Mike, for whatever I did. I didn’t mean it. I was just trying to be funny, probably. I may also need...
Published 08/25/21
Who knew we were going to climb to such dizzying heights as the fourteenth episode? It’s pretty impressive when you consider that nearly every episode consists of absolute nonsense that I make up off the top of my head with no planning whatsoever and no editing after the fact. I don’t know who it’d impress. Probably not you. But it’s got to be impressive to somebody hasn’t it? In this week’s episode: I discuss the tonal differences between my bell noises I add more words to the B*nned...
Published 08/18/21