Untold: The Retreat Financial Times

As an identical twin who introduced both his identical twin brother and wife to Vipassana, I found this reporting resonating and helpful albeit one-sided. Myself having never done a Vipassana retreat (I work on the “self- selves- Self” divide in a slower, more conversation-based meditation group and do IFS therapy work in conjunction), I can’t claim first hand knowledge of these retreats. But many had recommended these Vipassana retreats to me as a ‘good swift kick in the butt’ introduction to meditation. I don’t think that’s how it works anymore and it plays on our western-capitalist modern-consumer-immortality seeking mindset—“it’s free, vegan, and will reduce stress and make me more effective? sign me up!”. In any case, I’d heard about it during my early seeking days, watched ‘doing time, doing vipassana’ and so I told them both about it. My wife says she had a net-positive experience at both of the 2 retreats she did (despite her passing out on the first day). My brother, however, came back from BOTH of the 2 retreats he did suffering from serious paranoid delusions which I and my wife had to help decode and help gather insight from in order to help him get enough of himself back with new understanding (updated beliefs—i.e. insight). Which is what Vipassana claims to be—insight meditation. But not every human has the same data and knowledge at hand to interpret and have ‘insights’ which is why a “one size fits all” mediation “bootcamp/surgery” program might not work and can potentially harm as many as it might help. From my understanding, practices like mediation are not just about experiencing bliss, or stress reduction, or happiness (as this podcast too often suggests and maybe what, at some level, much of humanity might be longing for) —rather I think it aims at an individuals search for meaning, insight, truth, and deeper inner connection with Being. And that often does mean leaving some parts of our psyche behind (or rather ‘updating’ them) which can often look like and become mental illness if not handled with care, love, attention, time, and a sense of the other. In any case—It was very scary and stressful for me to witness (not to mention the fear and stress my brother was experiencing) and that’s why I don’t think as highly of Vipassana work anymore. I know loads who have gained insight and claim ‘progress’ through these retreats. But like I’ve said, EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT and the Conditions and Prescriptions MATTER with respect to the level of change/energy that meditation can offer. Mediation of this quantity/duration (plus insomnia, which my brother also experienced like so many others) is like an LSD trip—and if you don’t have the necessary guidance, knowledge, time, energy etc. it can really not be the most productive step. Fast maybe, but thorough? Fast maybe, but at what cost? Not to mention if one has a predisposition to ‘mental instability’ (i.e. bi-cameral regression), which some families seem to have baked in. Ego death is not something to be played with. I was grateful to have been reading ‘LSD and the Mind of The Universe’ by Chris Bache Ph.D and his research of over 20 years after my brother’s second delusional episode —it helped me be less scared of the level of fear and danger he was experiencing, and interpret it on a more collective level. From his research, he concluded that as we go deeper into the layers of our own psyches, it seems we tap into the sufferings of the collective psyche. But let’s not get ahead of our own selves. Then again—I was just looking into doing a Vipassana last week lol. Twins can be convincing. This podcast is helping me think maybe I’ll stick to the longer, slower, gentler modality I’ve been in. Thanks for reading if you made it this far.

Such a well created, thoughtful podcast of a really important topic. I appreciated how the listener is repeatedly reminded that many people are helped by Vipassana retreats, and the language used allows for multiple perspectives. And the call to action is incredibly reasonable. In any other health organization, experiences like these would result in institutional changes.

I feel it’s unfair to blame the meditation center, it’s a silent retreat, there’s no communication. It’s not rehab. It’s not a cult (it’s not worshipping a person). It’s not like people there are brainwashed. It’s silent. Meditation is deeply personal. It’s impossible for the organization to tailor it to each individual. The most they can do is to put out disclaimers. Therefore it’s up to the individual to take the disclaimers seriously.