112 episodes

There are good gay movies out there, but we won't be talking about them. We're three unqualified nobodies who discuss the very worst that gay cinema has to offer. At We Read Movies, we don't just watch movies, we read them for filth.

We Read Movies We Read Movies

    • Health & Fitness
    • 4.6 • 39 Ratings

There are good gay movies out there, but we won't be talking about them. We're three unqualified nobodies who discuss the very worst that gay cinema has to offer. At We Read Movies, we don't just watch movies, we read them for filth.

    Brooklyn Bizarre

    Brooklyn Bizarre

    This week, we watched the not-really-a-movie movie Brooklyn Bizarre. It's 80-90% montages of upsetting weirdo burlesque performances, and then there's a completely unexplained murder at the end, but join us as Eric tries to convince us that it actually means something.

    Topics discussed:


    What exactly is burlesque?
    Chris describes a very short porno
    Mumblecore movies that pretend they're gay movies
    Russian accents
    What exactly is a metaphor?


    We Read Movies

    This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

    • 1 hr 13 min
    Departing Seniors

    Departing Seniors

    This week we watched the 2023 slasher movie Departing Seniors. When a gay high-schooler is pushed down the stairs by bullies, the blow to his head that almost kills him actually gives him psychic powers, which he can use to see the future. He then uses that power to save his bullies (who, you may remember, just pushed him down the stairs) from a vengeful serial killer, it's unclear why, tbh

    Topics discussed:


    The 3 Body Problem is kind of a dumb show
    But so are a lot of shows we like
    Other movies that have psychic powers in them
    Bad hair
    Never forget that, in the comic books, Thanos wants to make love to a skeleton


    We Read Movies

    This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

    • 1 hr 31 min
    Adam and Steve

    Adam and Steve

    This week, we watched the 2005 rom-com Adam and Steve featuring Parker Posey and Chris Kattan (and starring two other people). We say rom-com, but there's not really any romance, nor is there any comedy. Instead, we're given confusing bits about family curses and a full performance of a song from the Sound of Music.

    Topics discussed:


    We watch a lot of tv shows and they're all more interesting to talk about than this movie
    Hair in the 80's
    9/11
    The hottest cowboys


    We Read Movies

    This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

    • 1 hr 38 min
    Devil's Path

    Devil's Path

    This week, we watched the 2018 thriller Devil's Path. When two obvious lunatics meet on a cruising ground within a state park, each with their own secrets, they begin a deadly game of cat and mouse. Or, at the very least, they wander the woods for about an evening, yelling at each other about whether love exists or not. The movie doesn't make much sense, but, hey, at least it only an hour and 22 minutes long.

    Topics discussed:


    The name of the pokemon Muk
    The efficacy of half a deck of Tarot cards
    Cruising and the movie Cruising
    Brother fucking, yay or nay?


    We Read Movies

    This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

    • 1 hr 21 min
    The Fruit Machine

    The Fruit Machine

    This week, we watched the 1988 British film The Fruit Machine. Which, yes, does mean it's time for some positively terrible accents from us while we discuss a film where a couple of teenagers witness a murder, go on the run, get abused by a famous opera singer, and finally rescue a magical dolphin. It's a truly wild film.

    Topics discussed:


    Robbie Coltrane
    Flipper's jean shorts
    Are fish creatures?
    Are dolphins fish?
    What exactly is the X-Simulator?


    We Read Movies

    This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

    • 1 hr 19 min
    Holiday Heart (with Mark Finley)

    Holiday Heart (with Mark Finley)

    This week, we were joined by Seattle drag royalty Mark Finley to talk about the movie that he appears in, Holiday Heart. When a drag queen with the legal birth name of Holiday Heart (played by Ving Rhames) befriends an addict (Alfre Woodard), and her daughter, he puts all of his dreams on hold for the benefit of people who don't seem to deserve his kindness, or even want it. Also then he gets into a relationship with the addict's drug dealer/ex. It's all very strange.

    Topics discussed:


    What people care about in France
    Tucking
    The music of Super Smash Bros
    The slowest moving car related death in history


    We Read Movies

    This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

    • 1 hr 25 min

Customer Reviews

4.6 out of 5
39 Ratings

39 Ratings

ThatGuySomewhereOverThere ,

Thanks, mister Shyamalan

Knock at the Cabin made me crazy angry and only this podcast could restore my sanity. I came for the validation and stayed for the bewilderment, gay sass, and boner pills.

easy with a good purpose ,

Funniest show. So much ugly snorting.

This show makes me ugly snort. It’s so d*mn funny. The incites have me actually learning things about history, to boot. Thanks team. My only note is it could use more Bea.

JimmyD ,

They mostly amuse themselves.

They don’t talk about bad movies. They rip on whatever happens to catch their attention at the time. I tried listening to a few episodes. They think they are more clever and witty but they sound like that obnoxious table at every gay bar: Listen to us! LISTEN TO US!!!
Go home. You’re drunk.

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