“I’m not going to say that I haven’t made some bad decisions in my life but nothing terrible. I was working on a nursing career when my mother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I was very close to my family and one by one they have passed away. Two years after mom passed I began college again. The first day of classes I felt something was wrong. I went to my father’s home and found him on the floor naked, paralyzed. He had a major stroke. I immediately dropped school again. I was faced with life and death decisions that I did not want to make. My father was my best friend since I was a little girl and I miss him greatly. I shut down when he passed. Not long after he died my husband became very ill and died. For the first time in my life I was alone. One morning I woke up and I was mad at God for waking alive. I came within an inch of taking my life. I’m finally past most of the grief but everyday it seems I face major setbacks. Job loss, financially distressed. My home is almost paid for but I am barely hanging on. I don’t have water , electric or heat except for propane. And I certainly don’t have the resources to fix anything. Sometimes I pray and question why. At times I feel like Job without the sores. I’m scared all the time of being homeless and am suffering with lots of anxiety. I have signed up to go back to school and finally get my nursing degree. I don’t know how I’m going to swing this but I’m trying to walk in faith and not look past the moment. I never lived in poverty and had no idea anyone else did either. It is so hard and stressful. I do believe that it is my responsibility to move forward and make my life better but at times I think , wow , I’m 60 years old. Truthfully I am tired of the struggle but I’m trying to put one foot in front of the other. I have great empathy now for people living in poverty. This is America and I’m appalled at the lack of a helping hand. I’m sure others feel the same. The odds against the poor seem insurmountable. When I get thru this I’ll never forget and I hope to start some type of support for women in the same situation. Thanks for listening to me whine. I love your advise and insight to life. You truly have a gift”
Wishes!60 via Apple Podcasts ·
United States of America ·
01/05/20