How often should you and your partner be having sex? Is there a magic number that signifies a healthy relationship? It’s easy to obsess over these questions, and sometimes, this fixation can even harm stable, loving partnerships. These concerns are amplified not only by idealized media portrayals but also by the underlying fear that we might not be living up to some invisible standard of a successful relationship. In this episode, I’m moving away from the perfect, passion-filled narratives that often dominate our screens and digital spaces. Instead, I'll delve into the true essence of intimacy—how it’s expressed, experienced, and nurtured in diverse relationships. I'll challenge the myths about how often couples 'should' be having sex and broaden the discussion to include a deeper, more nuanced understanding of desire, one that’s often glossed over by social media influencers and alarmist magazine articles warning that you’re not keeping things spicy enough in the bedroom.   This conversation is about breaking down the pressures and expectations that cloud our perceptions of intimacy and can sabotage perfectly healthy relationships. I'm here to empower you to communicate openly with your partner and redefine intimacy in ways that resonate with both your needs and desires, free from societal myths that falsely equate constant physical intimacy with relationship quality. By exploring different types of desire, you'll learn how to foster a connection that’s based not on frequency but on mutual satisfaction and deeper emotional bonds. Let’s throw those random stats and the so-called 'rules' about relationships in the trash where they belong. Settle in and get ready to redefine intimacy on your own terms. ✧ Click here to follow Shan Boodram on Instagram (@shanboodram) [source for the reel at the beginning of this episode] TIME STAMPS: 00:00 – 40:37.45: Part 1 (Exploring societal pressures, media influences, empirical studies, medicalization of desire, and generational differences affecting perceptions of intimacy and sexual health.) 40:37.45 – 01:14:07.42: Part 2 (Delving into types of sexual desire, the reality of long-term intimacy, and the importance of aligning values and libido levels in relationships.) Enjoyed this episode? Explore more as a Premium Submarine. Dive deep into hundreds of hours of ad-free exclusive content and full-length episodes on Patreon, including my original BPD recovery series, guided meditations, and much more. Click here to preview the premium collections you’ll unlock access to for as little as a couple of cups of coffee a month. Learn more and join at backfromtheborderline.com. The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. acast+ https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.