Dan Savage, Eli Sanders, and Rich Smith wade through the confusing arrival of “The Mueller Report.” The report is finally in, but only Attorney General William Barr and a small handful of people at the Justice Department know exactly what it says. All we have is a very short “Barr Report” that summarizes Mueller's findings, plus President Trump's take on Barr’s report: “No Collusion, No Obstruction, Complete and Total EXONERATION.” Um, not exactly. After that, Katie Herzog assesses the Republicans’ latest attempt to dismantle Obamacare and the wild turn in the Jussie Smollett case. Finally, Jasmyne Keimig has an issue with how cooking for one forces you to eat the same thing all the time, The Atlantic has an article on the weirdos who actually love to eat the same thing all the time, and oh, look, Rich is one of them! He offers his rules for repetitive eating. Plus, as always, the music of Ahamefule J. Oluo.