Blue Ballers, this one's for you. New York City FC returns this week having stolen a point from the big pink menace in Miami, featuring a first MLS goal and first MLS start for Alonso Martinez and some more-or-less remarkable performances elsewhere. Jake & Trey break down how the team stacks up against noted psychopath Luis Suarez and whether the momentum is breaking in the right direction. THEN: Maxime's maxim: more MLS! AND: The baby blues beat the baby bulls to pull into round 3 of the...

Blue ballers, we won't lie to you — there's no lipstick available for this pig! A mighty but ultimately outmatched effort from New York City FC left us with zero points away at a highly dominant Cincinnati. Jake and Trey break down the conflicted feelings following this match — was it good? was it shit? was it both? — and talk what we can learn about City when the City gets thin. We chat the Acosta goal, the state of the injury list, and the overperformers and the underachievers. THEN: to...

After a gratifying 2-1 victory against visiting Toronto, your Blue Ballers are feeling Hot N' Ready to breakdown some good news, for once. Jake and Trey slice up the first victory of the season, including Santi's centrality, Bakrar's hunger and panic for goal, stud Keaton Parks' studs-up challenge, and more. Then: a check-in with Gotham FC as the NWSL season kicks off, Pep Guardiola's on the hot stove, and a senseless preview of a match against Cincinnati with complicated personnel issues....

Back in the saddle and twice as pissed, your boys in blue are back to recap the degradation kink demo that was New York City FC’s first ever home opener loss to the very Portland Timbers. One goal from Santi Rodriguez was not enough for the boys to bask in, and scared coaching left us scratching our heads as the Timbers knocked two past our timbs to leave us pointless (and pointless) in three matches. Plus: branding, media mumbles, and stadium renderings. And: a precap of the return of...

Welcome back Blue Ballers. You're not gonna like the way we looked — I guarantee it. Our second match of the season yielded no points and no goals, continuing an abysmal streak away and resetting a sense of dread that will surely remain until at least one ball finds the back of the net. Will that happen this week at home? Jake and Trey break down the suffering in St. Louis to try and find out. Plus: Open Cup discussion, labor solidarity, and Balls On The Media. And finally, a little Portland...

Welcome to the end of the blue decade, Blue Ballers, and the beginning of SEASON TEN of NYCFC madness, brought to you by your own Boys in Blue. A special salute to the ballers who've been with us since the Obama Era, through thick and thin, from Kreis to Cup -- this one's for you. But that's about as triumphant as we're getting this time around, because NYCFC is back to their old tricks and we don't mean that in a good way. Jake & Trey break down our few-shots-on-goal 90 against Charlotte...

Shake off those blue suede shoes and get ready for action -- because it's very nearly Season Ten and Blue Balls is BACK! Jake & Trey tie a bow onto a banner preseason featuring some of the most exciting new blues in YEARS. We chat J's three ways, with Jovan, Ojeda, and Jones all getting the Blue Balls treatment. And then: glory of glories, it's the annual over/under. Follow along at home to find out how you did at the end of the year. Plus a little Charlotte FC preview, as a treat. Get...

Just when you thought we were out, they pull us back in again! The season is hot incoming and at long last there's some NYCFC news to report on, piece apart, celebrate, and bitch about -- so you know your Boys in Blue are hunting down the scoops as transfer rumors become transfer realities. Jake and Trey break down one confirmed signing and two likely new Pigeons, plus contract extensions and what it all means for NYCFC's strategy and vibe in the 2024 season. Plus: choo choo! the train is...

(alt. title: Madame B-Over-y & One H-Under-ed Years Of Solitude)We made it, folks. We staggered our way through this rocky season, careening from road loss to road loss, searching always for some sliver of hope. And in doing so, we saw a lot. Trades, sales, ups, downs, debuts and departures -- wretched record or not, this was an eventful ninth NYCFC season and your Boys in Blue are here to recap it for you via our perennial favorite, the Over/Under Review Pod! That's right ballers, Jake...

Blue Ballers, we've been in better moods. We're staring down the end of an ignominious season and wondering where it all went wrong. SO we called in the experts. The Sports Expert, in fact! Max Reinhardsen joins the podcast to unpack the season and give his wisdom and perspective on the state of MLS today. Then: we deep dive on Trey's profound moral dilemmas as he assembles his ballot for the league MVP and league Best XI. Stretch out your hammies, you've got EXTRA Blue Balls.

A brutal return to unfortunate form has Jake and Trey in their cups unpacking what went wrong, what stayed right, and who’s to blame for a lackluster and largely toothless performance against a DC United that should have easily been untied. Plus, to get us out of the doldrums, some USMNT and NWSL chat. And finally, what we can do against Chicago to make use of our sorry six percent. Untie those nooses and drain your bathtubs - you’ve got Blue Balls.

Your blue-balled fellas are back at it again, taking you down the green mile to playoff ignominy. Jake and Trey talk about a trying evening of soccer, from the wizardry of DP Santi Rodriguez to the unfinished business of Mounsef Bakrar, to the head-scratching header that cost NYCFC both the three points it looked on track to earn AND control of its destiny. A frustrating tie if ever there was one. THEN: Stadium chat! Jake and Trey sound off about The Outfield's latest on the newest...

We're not foolin' around. After a brutal summer, NYCFC is officially above the playoff line and your Boys in Blue are here to break down exactly how it happened. Jake and Trey do another three-prong thriller covering an anodyne Hudson River derby, and two shock blitz wins totaling five nasty goals. We hit the new boys, the old boys, and all the blue boys in-between. You won't believe how much we leave out. And then, right around the corner? A little team called Inter Miami. Crack your...

(or: Wake me up, before Chanot Go)Blue Ballers, we know it can be painful to listen to this podcast when things are going so wrong, but your boys in blue pulled it together to sit down and recap the last three matches and all associated dramas, and so you can do your part and give us the play count. Jake and Trey run through themes and thoughts on the four points we pulled from three matches in our quixotic pursuit of a playoff berth. Despite everything, there's some interesting data to mine...

This is a temporary episode blurb while jake writes the real one, farts farts farts and such and such but MINNESOTA, WWC, CINCY, MORE

The heat's broken, Blue Ballers, and so has the news: your FO has been busy after all and NYCFC is adding a slate of new talent. Will it be enough to rescue the 2023 season? Only time will tell -- but in the meantime, Jake and Trey break down the Leagues Cup play so far, including a 5-0 defeat of Toronto that made us cry "stop, stop, he's already dead!" -- Plus, taking Talles' temperature, a bevy of depth and a-team signings, and of course a knockout round Hudson River Derby precap. Don't...

Blue Ballers, something stinks! And it's not just the stench of the dead mouse Jake stepped on while going to record. No folks, it's the VIBES. They stink to high heaven and Jake and Trey are digging through the odor trying to figure out why. What's happening on and off the bench? Where is the $12 million dollar man? What went so wrong in Philadelphia? How will Nick Coaching be cushing this team through the Leagues Cup? PLUS: a little more WWC preview from Trey and a mini precap of Atlas FC....

Shabbat shalom, Blue Ballers! Two draws and a win to recap is still significantly better than could have been anticipated -- and yet, we're far from out of the Mad Forest of Midseason. Jake and Trey break it all down for you, taking the hot points from Montreal, Charlotte, and Columbus. We talk officiating, brand new signings, Haaktivism, past lives, and sweaty season. Don't get caught in the hot car -- you've got Blue Balls.

It’s more or less the same in Blue Balls land as Jake and Trey recap — what else — another streak of draws. We talk Freese’s pieces, unlikely CB successes, and the various b teams we squeezed points from this week. Plus USMNT and USWNT check-ins, vibe checks on the culture, and the casualest of Montreal precaps. Plug the Vornado in honey — you’ve got Blue Balls.

Folks, we won't lie to you. It's a rough week. Okay show though. Trey and Jake kill some time so that you can kill some time with us and dream of better days on the horizon. We talk what to do with the time we're slowly burning until the transfer window opens, the surprise bright spots of the week, and then a whole bunch of USMNT action that we miss while we're bitchin'. Throw that rock-paper-scissors celebration carefully: you've got Blue Balls.

Jake & Trey barrel through the smog to give YOU a non-hazardous level of Blue Balls this morning. And what's on the docket? Frustrating scorelines! Testy supporters section exchanges! Mystery slurs! Knee surgeries! Major deals in the league, and the lack thereof at NYCFC! The vibes, friends, are not on -- and your cohorsts are on the ground talking about it. We chat about all the elements that are conspiring to sabotage our season and go looking for positives to cling to in the meantime....

Blue Boys got you covered this week to break down three straight NYCFC road losses -- including an early-stage crash out of the Open Cup, and some groan-worthy losses to both Toronto and Charlotte. It's not a good week, blue ballers -- but Trey and Jake get into it anyway, discussing what we learned from minutes snatched by some rarely-seen NYCFC'ers, talking over the usual attacking woes, set piece despair, and mentality mishigas. THEN: a derby day precap and just to keep us from slitting...

Your boys in blue break down a massive win at home against FC Dallas and the rise of the Santi Rodriguez False Nine in what feels like a paradigm-shifting mid-season match. Jake and Trey take to the booth to break down this 3-1 victory, Ledezma on the push and the press, and how NYCFC finally found a system that optimizes its talent. Plus: James Sands on the USMNT, Taty Castellanos delivering some Girona Gjramatics, a brand new brit in the USMNT office, and of course a precap of our Canadian...

Your boys in blue have a treat for you this week — Jake and Trey are joined by the illustrious DAN AVIDAN (Game Grumps, Ninja Sex Party) who flexes his bonafides as an OG fan of NYNJ soccer and a stalwart NYCFC supporter from season one. Your starstruck hosts cannot help but get into full-on interview mode with Dan, but worry not: the threesome also merrily recap the triumphant 2-1 win over Nashville, hit the Talking Points, and chat anticipated changes in Dallas. Put on your loosest tuxedo...

A 1-1 draw has our boys feeling more chafed than chuffed, reflecting on a point at home against Atlanta that by all rights should have been a cakewalk. Jake and Trey break down the morale morass that might have kept us from glory, then chat Cushing coordinative creativity and consequences. Mal Pugh is out of the Women’s World Cup — is this summer going to be the Rise of Rodman? And a new signing has Trey wondering about lies, damn lies, and statistics from the front office. Throw on some...