“i hadn’t planned on listening to this particular episode because i have definitely been on a break from watching and/or listening to more conversations about the tragedy and trauma concerning race in America. I’ve just had enough of giving my attention to the horrific and devastating TELEVISED MURDER of men who look like my father, brother, cousins. I just feel so drained...like my actual body can’t take any more.
It’s so deep because as traumatic as this is to see on television, this blatant disregard for my humanity (based on my skin color) has been present in a million different ways my entire life. For example I was fortunate to have attended private schools growing up. I was ALWAYS one of only a handful of black students in school. I experienced So MANY incidents of Indirect discrimination, ignorant racist comments, hurtful prejudice assumptions and constant subtle reminders that I was “different” and “other” because I was black. That dynamic was part of my daily reality.....period
Living that kind experience daily embedded a specific contracted sensation that i can only describe as the feeling deep betrayal and humiliation and shocking whiplash combined.
And with every situation and every comment I felt forced to try to just “deal with it”.....SILENTLY!!! and at least not appear hurt...
It is only recently I have begun to acknowledge and heal the vestiges of trauma that are always a part of what it means to be black in this country.
Its conversations like these....the ones where I hear a genuine willingness to listen to my experiences (and my pain) without eye rolling and/or belittling or by accusing me of the using the infamous “race card” that assist with healing.
It just means so much to be heard in this kind of space. I appreciate the warmth and authenticity that you offered in this episode. It’s necessary and it’s healing!.... Thank you!”
NewJerseyJess via Apple Podcasts ·
United States of America ·
10/05/20