Forgiveness isn’t intended to be a heavy burden for those who have been deeply wronged.  Jesus’ invitation was, “Come to Me, all you who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you REST.” (Matthew 11:28-30)  The invitation of the Lord Jesus Christ is to come to Him and find REST for our souls!   Here's the definition of forgiveness: it’s a commitment by the offended to pardon graciously the repentant from moral liability, and to be reconciled — though it doesn’t mean that all consequences are necessarily eliminated.   What’s the hardest part of forgiveness? — To STOP THINKING about the offense; to keep going over and over it in one’s mind.  It’s a huge problem to be thinking about it, because then we’re DEFINED by the wrong committed against us.  Bitterness is like taking poison to get back at someone else.   By the way, this is where we need the Psalms; this is where we need the Psalter.  See Psalm 73 where Asaph is seeing how the wicked prosper, and he seems to have done the right thing for nothing.  If we move through this Psalm, it will change our world.   Steps to be free from bitterness and resentment after divorce, even if your husband has never repented:   Wait for God’s justice, and trust His providence.  Think of Joseph in Genesis: “You intended this for evil, but God intended it for good.”  This is why it’s SO CRITICAL to be in a local church with a high view of Scripture. Listen to wise people — you need community!  And you need the community of the Redeemed.  Pursue God’s blessing for yourself and those close to you.  Psalm 73:15 is the turning point of the chapter — “If I had said, ‘I will speak thus,’ I would have betrayed the generation of Your children.”  Also Hebrews 12:15 … “See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled.”  Bitterness can poison those around us, as well as ourselves! Call bitterness what it is — it’s sin.  It’s not justified.  We don’t have a right to be defined by anger and hatred.  One of the most difficult times to repent of our own transgressions is when we’ve been deeply wronged… it’s a dangerous place to be.  Be careful, when you’re sinned against, that you don’t fail to deal with the things you need to deal with in your own world.   Also important: be in a good church, hear the Word preached, meditate on JESUS — you will NOT be disappointed.    Please check out Pastor Brauns' book, Unpacking Forgiveness from Crossway: https://www.crossway.org/books/unpacking-forgiveness-tpb/   Visit his website here: https://chrisbrauns.com/   Join our Christ-Dependent Single Motherhood Facebook community, for Christian single moms like you, whether you're divorced, separated, widowed, or never married! https://bit.ly/CDSMFacebook   Send us a note at [email protected]