Episodes
Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. As we look back on Storm, is it really all Jaime and Brienne's fault that these books aren't finished? We talk about our favorite scenes, POVs and duos and more. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords Retrospective. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 533
Published 06/04/24
Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. When they go low, we go lower...so let's talk about the Freys! Was the Red Wedding a $5,000 dragon affair, or a $50,000 dragon gala? Either way, the sweet playlists of Roose Bolton & Lame Lothar's Wedding Planners will make your night. But now for a serious question, who was Lady Stoneheart's neck flap holder? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Epilogue. Originally recorded in 2017 Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 532
Published 05/28/24
Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. It's murder in a winter wonderland! But oh what a wonderland it is. We want to linger in the beauty of a snowy Winterfell, but the Moon Door beckons. Lysa deserves our sympathy, and she also deserves to binge watch a few shows on the Westerosi version of OWN. Oh, and stop trying to make Hot Hyle happen. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Sansa VII. Originally recorded in 2018.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 531
Published 05/21/24
Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Hail, hail the gang's all here. Jon ponders the life he could have, but could never have. We ponder Bloodraven's involvement in the whole thing and we get the glorious return of Ghost. GHOST! Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Jon XII Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 530
Published 05/14/24
Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Sam gets his electioneering on. Melisandre gets to talk to someone who already knows about Azor Ahai and we get to fall in love with peak Stannis. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Samwell V.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 529
Published 05/07/24
Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Hail, hail the gang's all here. It's been ten years, people. "Azor Ahai truly is the friends we made along the way." Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. 10th Anniversary Episode   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 528
Published 04/30/24
Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Your banter with Tyrion is awesome, even when you're breaking each other's hearts. Tyrion and Varys hold hands through the creepiest date night ever. Shae pets the wrong cat and Tywin gets what's coming to him as we finally close the door on Tyrion's chapters. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Tyrion XI. Originally recorded in 2018.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 527
Published 04/23/24
Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Stannis is looking for his Davos in Jon while Melisandre is here to save Stannis from his middle child woes, but would a hot woman choose to smell like blood and smoke? Stannis offers Jon everything he's ever wanted, but is Winterfell worth the price of dealing with wildling bs for years? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Jon XI.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 526
Published 04/16/24
Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Sam is back at the Wall where George knows nothing about breastfeeding and they're convening the equivalent of the papal conclave to elect a lord commander. We consider questions such as: is life with Craster enough training to survive Randyll Tarly? And just what does freezer burned mammoth taste like? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Samwell IV.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 525
Published 04/09/24
Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. It wouldn't be ASoIaF if someone wasn't dumping boiled wine on someone, but we're at the end of Arya's Storm journey and what a sad little journey it's been. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Arya XIII.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 524
Published 04/01/24
Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Jon is set up for failure by those two lovable scamps: Janos and Alliser when he's sent to meet with Mance. We still like Book Tormund, but we have real questions about George's sense of scale and the logic of the arrival of the cavalry. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Jon X.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 523
Published 03/26/24
Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. No more heavy leanings! Cersei tries to blow Jaime right out of the Kingsguard, but he's too busy rehearsing his big speech to Brienne. Jaime and Brienne act like awkward teenagers, and then Jaime acts like a man who can do whatever he chooses. Whatever he chooses. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Jaime IX. Originally recorded in 2019.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 522
Published 03/19/24
Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Dany's conquered yet another city state, but it's very much two steps forward, three steps back for her as she deals with the fallout and Jorah's crappy YouTube apology. Hell has frozen over and we find that we're the Dany Defense Squad now. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Daenerys VI.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 521
Published 03/12/24
Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Is Tywin a dad of his word? We’re not so sure. We are pretty sure he’s being poisoned, though. Tyrion’s putting all his faith in the Red Viper, and we wonder why Tywin didn’t see that coming. Join us for Inigo Montoya vs. The Mountain, a trial by combat for the ages, but not for the faint of heart. Just remember that snakes have no hands, but they do have eyes and teeth--or at least they used to. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Tyrion X....
Published 03/05/24
Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Jon and what's left at the Night's Watch are tired and so are we. We're not quite sure what the Turtle is, but our heroes are throwing stuff at the wall to see what sticks despite or because of GRRM's Looney Tunes physics. Janos Slynt arrives to spoil Jon's first good night of sleep in a while. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Jon IX.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 519
Published 02/27/24
Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. It's time to get your PEEEETYR on, as Littlefinger moves from his Tiny House in the Fingers to a deluxe apartment in the sky. Will Sansa move from pawn to player? Could GRRM possibly have more SanSan foreshadowing in this chapter? A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Sansa VI. Originally recorded in 2018.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 518
Published 02/20/24
Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. It’s time for King’s Landing Cribs Edition, where the magic doesn’t happen. Are you a gasoline kinda gal or do you prefer manure? All we know is we’re not into the smell of rotting flesh. Jaime trusts Loras will fall in love with Brienne if he just spends a few minutes alone with her. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Jaime VIII - originally recorded in 2019.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 517
Published 02/13/24
Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. It's the trial of the young century and with Cersei McBeal in charge, things don't look good for Tyrion. We get another sweet, fleeting taste of the sexy Oberyn Martell, but inquiring minds want to know - did Oberyn get a taste of Cersei? GRRM is the Jaime and Brienne fanfic author of our dreams and we want more. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Tyrion IX. Originally recorded in 2018.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 516
Published 02/06/24
Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Join us as Arya takes a tour through every stage of grief and evidences some abandonment issues and we realize this episode should be sponsored by a therapy service. Tyrion's buddies are thriving and we realize that in another universe, Sandor has a future as a camp counselor for damaged children. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Arya XII.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 515
Published 01/30/24
Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Things are bleak at the Wall, but Donal Noye, total badass that he is, and Jon are on it even if he is only 16. If we were looking at the HR roster for the Watch, he'd be our pick for command t Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Jon VIII.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 514
Published 01/23/24
Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Davos may not have all his fingertips, but he's sure got balls. Robert's kids are awesome and we'll definitely miss the Davos/Stannis/Melisandre not-so-fun-times chapters. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Davos VI.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 513
Published 01/16/24
Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Jaime’s homecoming sucks. Cersei gives, but we must ask. Sure Jaime’s a deadbeat dad, but Joff really was a dick. And Jaime might be good at bluffing, but Tywin always wins the staring contests. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Jaime VII (repost). Originally recorded in 2019.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 512
Published 01/09/24
Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Sansa turns from porcelain, to ivory, to steel, but finds herself fleeing from one terrible situation to another. Littlefinger's plots make almost as much sense as his ways of wooing women. We mourn the lack of SanSan in the show, and wonder if Sansa will ever get to actually kiss a half decent man. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Sansa V (repost). Originally recorded in 2018.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 511
Published 01/02/24
Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. It’s a nice day for a Purple Wedding. Olenna’s giving Sansa some serial killer hairnet realness. Joffrey stars in his first and last “I’m on a horse!” Old Spice commercial. GRRM might be the original wordy food blogger, so you can just shove some pigeon pie down your cake hole for the very bestest chapter ever. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords Tyrion VIII (repost). Originally recorded in 2018.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 510
Published 12/26/23
Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. It's time for Joffrey's wedding breakfast, but where are the Bloody Marys and cheesy hashbrowns, George? Who needs fantasy football when you can have fantasy Kingsguards? Did Robert have a subscription to Melees Monthly? Tyrion is...problematic and no matter what tidbits GRRM give us, we're just not here for your Targ BS. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Sansa IV (repost). Originally recorded in 2018.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 509
Published 12/19/23