Warning: This episode does cover the subject of suicide. If you need help please use these links: UK https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/ Rest of the World  https://findahelpline.com/i/iasp Tilo shares his raw and powerful testimony of a young man conscripted into the East German military at the height of Cold War tensions. He recounts the daunting prospect of being drafted into the border guards, an assignment he was determined to avoid at all costs due to his moral opposition to the Berlin Wall and the potential to be forced into shooting unarmed escapers. Tilo vividly describes the intense medical and psychological scrutiny he faced from military officials and shares the ingenious way he ensured he wouldn't be placed in the border guards, a tactic that involved a bold statement of conscience in front of a military panel. The episode also delves into the harsh realities of East German military life, from the ritual humiliations of new recruits to the tragic story of a comrade's suicide attempt under the pressures of service. We explore the psychological toll of such an environment and the coping mechanisms soldiers use to survive. Tilo also describes working in an artillery brigade headquarters, an unusual tactic to prevent Allied Military Liaison Missions from identifying their vehicles and an attack by East German paratroops during an exercise. Episode extras here https://coldwarconversations.com/episode346/ The fight to preserve Cold War history continues and via a simple monthly donation, you will give me the ammunition to continue to preserve Cold War history. You’ll become part of our community, get ad-free episodes, and get a sought-after CWC coaster as a thank you and you’ll bask in the warm glow of knowing you are helping to preserve Cold War history. Just go to https://coldwarconversations.com/donate/ If a monthly contribution is not your cup of tea, We also welcome one-off donations via the same link. Find the ideal gift for the Cold War enthusiast in your life! Just go to https://coldwarconversations.com/store/ Support the project! https://coldwarconversations.com/donate/ Follow us on Twitter https://twitter.com/ColdWarPod Facebook https://www.facebook.com/groups/coldwarpod/ Instagram https://www.instagram.com/coldwarconversations/ Youtube https://youtube.com/@ColdWarConversations Love history? Join Intohistory https://intohistory.com/coldwarpod 00:00 Trigger Warning and Introduction 00:54 Tilo's Early Life and Draft Experience 02:43 Avoiding the Border Guards 10:27 Life in the Artillery Brigade 14:37 Harsh Realities and Hazing 18:14 Comrade's Suicide Attempt 35:03 Zyklus 89 Exercise and Conclusion Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices