Niles Standish (Tony Barbieri) requests a live-in caretaker who will attend to all of his naughty bits.

A survey operator (Wanda Sykes) calls to get feedback on a customer of their adult entertainment website.

Birchum (Adam Carolla) tries to locate his lost prosthetic leg and interrogates a country club receptionist about the state of his penis.

Cammie (Lisa Kushell), a blind stripper with a seeing-eye dog, threatens to shut down a strip club if they won't comply with her needs.

Jimmy (Jimmy Kimmel) gets interrupted by his mom (Sarah Silverman) when he's on the phone getting information about a penis pump.

Joe Smith (Denis Leary) gets attacked by a monkey while babysitting.

Shavin' (Dave Chappelle) tries to make a hotel reservation for the Wu Tang Clan.

Rob (Stephen Colbert) helps a dictates exactly what his friend would like from a phone sex line.

Radio personalities Boomer (Patton Oswalt) and The Nudge (Jimmy Kimmel) call two workers at the local 7-Eleven.

Spoonie Luv (Tracy Morgan) orders roses from a florist as a thank you gift for a woman who showed him a good time the night before.

Vietnam vet Dick Birchum (Adam Carolla) calls to look for a job, but has trouble showing his people skills.

Batman's nemesis (Jordan Rubin) calls information in order to locate his enemy in Gotham City.

When Lisa (Lisa Kushell) calls tech support for computer help, she ends up getting wildly turned on by a hapless support technician.

After Gladys Murphy (Wanda Sykes) picks up her car, she's shocked to find a huge turd in the backseat.