Description
Fatherhood is a journey laden with challenges, triumphs, and a multitude of rewarding experiences. For some, it means rewriting the scripts handed down by previous generations and breaking stereotypes. Kevin Riley, a father of three, a Bronx councilman, author, and one of the founding members of "The Dad Gang," epitomizes this transformative journey. In this week's Dads with Daughters podcast, Kevin Riley shared his unique story, shedding light on his mission to redefine Black fatherhood and support other fathers in similar pursuits.
The Crucial First Steps: Overcoming Fear and Self-Doubt Fear as a Driving Force
When Kevin Riley found out he was going to be a father to his first daughter, Brooke, fear struck him. Having grown up without a father, he was acutely aware of what he lacked in terms of role models and guidance. Reflecting on those initial fears, Riley shared, "I was scared but also excited because it was a journey I could pour so much value into."
His primary concern was whether he was parenting the right way. Riley's transparency about his fears dismantles the myth of the all-knowing father. It is okay to be scared, okay to doubt — what matters is the desire to overcome these fears and become the best dad possible.
Balancing Responsibilities: The Art of Time Management Striking a Balance in a Busy Life
Being a councilman often pulls Kevin Riley in different directions, demanding a delicate balance between public responsibilities and family life. "I bring my children everywhere," Riley explains. From community events to City Hall hearings, his children are often by his side, learning the ropes of civic engagement early on.
This unique approach serves dual purposes: it provides valuable bonding time and exposes his children to the concept of public service. Riley’s method underscores the importance of integrating children into various aspects of life, making them active participants in their father’s world.
Empowering Daughters: The Challenge and the Reward Breaking Gender Norms
Kevin Riley emphasized the importance of empowering his daughters to pursue any career they desire, irrespective of societal expectations. He makes it a point to connect his daughters with powerful female leaders to illustrate that they can achieve the same heights as their male counterparts. "In a male-dominated society, you have to find creative ways to empower your daughters," Riley says.
The lesson here is that fatherhood extends beyond basic caregiving; it’s about paving the way for your children to see themselves as capable and equal contributors to society.
Sharing the Journey: "Hop Into Life" From Personal Experience to Published Author
Riley's book, "Hopping Through Life," co-authored with his children, is a heartfelt narrative aimed at demystifying the complexities of fatherhood. The inspiration stemmed from his own experiences and his nightly ritual of reading to his kids. "Be proud of the journey you've been through because it created the person you are today," Riley advises.
The book serves as a beacon for other fathers, particularly those who may have grown up without a father figure. It’s a testament to overcoming obstacles and embracing the messy, yet beautiful, journey of parenting.
Community Building: The Dad Gang Changing Stereotypes, One Dad at a Time
One of the most impactful initiatives Kevin Riley has been involved with is "The Dad Gang." Founded by Sean Williams, this organization was borne out of a single comment that stereotyped Black fathers. "We created this community online, but we really wanted to go deeper," Riley explains.
The Dad Gang hosts events like the "March of Dads," which feature public walks and community activities aimed at showcasing the active involvement of Black fathers. The group also organizes healing circles and interactive forums that provide emotional support and amplify the narratives of Black fatherhood.
Final Words: The All-Important Advice Make Time, Always
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