“Emotions mean that you’re human. It’s very normal,” says Lisa Mitzel, mental health coach and author of “Focused and Inspired: Keeping Our Athletes Safe in a Win-at-All-Costs World.”    As a six-time NCAA Gymnastics champion, Lisa knows that competitive dancers and athletes have all sorts of emotions ahead of competition, yet, only some of them are acknowledged or encouraged by their coaches and parents. Lisa describes techniques to foster awareness and mindfulness in young performers, beginning long before the competition even starts. As host John Corella says, good and bad emotions aren’t mutually exclusive.    As tempting as it is for coaches and parents to make all the decisions for the dancer, and to want to avoid watching them fail, the only way to raise self-confident children who will lead themselves is to give them options and choices, no matter how small. John tells a story of a young dancer who nearly had a breakdown before a going on the stage, the game-changing question he asked her, and what her decision rendered in both the short term and the long term.    Though things are slowly changing, dancers have historically not been encouraged to use their voices. As competitions become increasingly out of control, the pressure on performers to be perfectionistic only increases, as does the shame which surrounds failure. Dancers and gymnasts are made to feel as performers and competitors first, and humans second.    On this episode of Dance Dads, the first of a two-part discussion with Lisa, she shares some of the powerful visualization, recalling and dance competition tricks to practice ahead of competition. Hear her opinion on practicing the day before a competition and the surprising way to approach competitors.    Quotes “We live through our children, don’t we? Through our dancers, through our gymnasts.” (5:38 | Lisa Mitzel) “Sometimes there are so many rules, that kids feel like they have no decisions. That’s a helpless feeling. That’s a feeling that the authority has all the power.” (8:35 | Lisa Mitzel)   “What is common, or let’s say more common, is a parent or a dance teacher or a coach, gives [the child] the choice but when [the child] choose[s], ’No, I don’t want to,’ [the parent or coach says] ‘Why? You can do it. You can do it,’ and inadvertently they dismiss how the child is feeling. And it happens regularly. Daily.”  (19:05 | Lisa Mitzel) “Can we keep the nerves as well as the part that says ‘You can do it’ at the same time? They’re not on separate islands. You can have the fear and the ‘You can do it.’ And also, maybe that fear needs more attention than the ‘You can do it’ in that moment. And you show the kid that they’re more important than their dancing, than their gymnastics, than their sport.” (19:54 | John Corella)  “We’re trying to teach them how to succeed and it’s uncomfortable to watch them fail; it’s uncomfortable to let them make a decision that maybe isn’t going to work out in their benefit at that moment. But that’s the short term.” (23:32 | Lisa Mitzel) Links Connect with Lisa Mitzel: https://www.lisamitzel.com/focused-books/ https://www.instagram.com/mitzel_coach/ Dance Dad with John Corella on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dancedadwithjohncorella/ John on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/john_corella/ Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm