Our capacity to authentically relate to one another is shaped not only by our life experiences, early childhood, and attachment, but the broader culture we live in and the myths we pick up from society about what relationships should look like. In this episode, I speak with a trauma-informed couple’s therapist about the qualities of healthy loving relationships, how toxic and transactional societal values shape how we relate, and real-life examples of moving through triggers and developing deeper intimacy. Why taking a trauma-informed lens to couples counseling is crucial The utility of “attachment styles” and putting it into context of child development and broader societal values Learning from “in tact cultures” that values connectedness and belonging from birth Transactional relationships and learning to see people beyond the scope of our own needs The 5 adaptive strategies we learn in childhood that come up in interpersonal relationships How to repair from conflict and deal with our triggers with real case examples Using mythology, narrative, and intuition in couple’s work Advice for those entering new relationships Rebecca Nidorf, LCSW-R is a psychotherapist in private practice in the Hudson Valley. Rebecca Has been a practicing clinician for 25 years and part time at Bard College as a clinical supervisor and director of a crisis counseling program for 18 years. She began her career as a complex trauma therapist working with rape and incest survivors. This led to a private practice where she treats individuals and primarily, couples. Rebecca is an integrative therapist who uses teachings from a variety of mentors and practitioners ranging from Esther Perel, Terrance Real, Pia Melody, Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D, Francis Weller, Resmaa Menakem, Carol Giligan and many others. Rebecca considers herself to be a consummate student. She feels a sense of soulful gratitude when working with her clients in a therapeutic setting and when she is leading retreats and teaching. Rebecca is grateful for all of the many people who have trusted her with their stories over the course of her career. Rebecca’s Website: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/rebecca-nidorf-new-paltz-ny/200303 Reclaiming All Parts of You: Healing Shame Workbook & Meditation : https://jazminerussell.lpages.co/reclaiming/ Resources: Women Who Run with the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estés https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/241823.Women_Who_Run_With_the_Wolves Why Does Patriarchy Persist? by Carol Gilligan https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/39971978-why-does-patriarchy-persist Esther Perel https://www.estherperel.com/