topics: debuting a new gong sound effect, going to ikea for a third time this month, realizing the band CSS is brazilian and not french, being "single shamed" at the bar, the doc Last Call, the barbie movie spawning endless toy movies, skinwalker ranch mysteries, throwing my back out doing dishes, ice spice's questionable date of birth, kardashian birthday protocol, what to do if i'm in a coma, the weeknd's acting chops, gays on Hinge being obsessed with their moms, extreme body modifications, how dylan mulvaney can get into the good graces of conservatives, wtf does "draconian" actually mean?, rfk jr being mad hot shirtless, launching a campaign to bully evan ross katz, british people, and i answer all your questions!