* This tattoo definitely wasn’t a horrible mistake * Matt has dementia * Pim Tool: tool of the FSB? * The $400,000 plagiarist * Brain “interference” vs. election “interference” * Did Trump acknowledge that he lost in 2020? * The childcare word salad * Plastic straw journalistic DISGRACE * Having principals versus having “a position” * Dumb neo-Nazi realizes he’s been cheated * More on the rise of junk history * An overlooked bit of Tucker’s controversial interview * Hitler was very, very,...

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * Illness fakers * Medium fakers * Ok, so let’s warm up with some music stuff * Does any band have a perfect four-album run? * “I’ve read a lot of books on WWII!!” * On the Martyr Made controversy * Baby Irvings * The bad guys are the good guys, and they have no agency * “The Holocaust was basically a housing issue…” * The Theresienstadt “documentary” * The “terror” bombings * Incidenta…

* Kamala finally submits to an interview * A Cascade of Disappointment) * A softball interview * Flip, flop, flibbedy flop * Wasted questions * Just a question of grammar * Code switch that racist wall * Trump in the cemetery * Trump in the bible * Trump impressions * Noel, Liam, Kmele * Matt and Moynihan reveal a secret, racially segregated text thread This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit...

It’s the final night of the convention and in the hours before everything kicks off, the lads convened at the Substack loft to chat with Axios’s Alex Thompson, our old pal and arguably the most plugged in political reporter in America. We could offer some conversation bullet points but…just trust us. This is a really good one. Alex dishes on his reporting about the campaign to dislodge Biden’s from ticket, the enormous and quiet political power of the Obamas, and the behind-the-scenes war...

Moynihan, Welch, and Kmele’s Chicago misadventures continue in this dispatch, recorded just before night three of the 2024 Democratic National Convention. Joined by the incomparable Mike Pesca (host of The Gist), your favorite podcast triumvirate dissects the week’s events so far, their implications for the 2024 presidential race, and the future of the Democratic Party. Plus, a brief meditation on proper etiquette when dining at celebrity steakhouses—with a pair of reformed...

Why waste time with discursive show notes when you can just say two very simple words? Steve Kornacki. One of People’s “Sexiest Men Alive” returns to the Fifth (for his fourth appearance??) to breakdown the latest polls, prognosticate on what happens to the Republican Party if Trump loses, and subtly reveal that he might be a degenerate blackjack player. Just listen. It’s a good one. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus...

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * An ethereum veep bet (Note: U.S. customers are banned, so no $1,000 on Shapiro bet was made) * Watching the Olympics * Supporting Ukrainian athletes for non-political reasons * Lil’ Moyn is still in it to win it * An old, prescient email… * “What did I do?” - Gerald Ford * The drug excuse is not that convincing, TBH * Dave, Buster, and Trump * Yeah, no, it’s not going to be…

* Anything happen since we left? * La Bubblewrap * The media will do it for you * Everyone will forget about that NABJ appearance * Every journalist in that room is Audie Murphy * Who’s black? * Not in defense of Thomas Eagleton (soz) * The polls changed so let’s attack Nate Silver for noticing * Every one in politics is “weird” * The child will never fly coach again * The honorable resistors * JD Vance’s amazingly stupid economic ideas, which he cannot actually believe * The end of the...

In April 2023, while producing a documentary series for The John Templeton Foundation (JTF), I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing legendary punk/rock musician and producer audio engineer Steve Albini. Portions of that interview appear in the sixth installment of the doc series (which is phenomenal, and you should watch every episode immediately), but most of our conversation has remained unreleased—until now.On May 7th, 2024, Steve passed away at 61 after an illustrious and influential...

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * HOF weekend * The Talented Ms. Jewhater * Notes from the RNC * The black Republicans who don’t care about ideology * The 33 person BBQ in North Milwaukee * Losing their religion * The Great Resignation * “She’s not Joe Biden on foreign policy, buy who is…” * Why they hate us * There’s no Kamala bump * More Project 2025 nonsense * The rise of the mentally ill pundit * To win, Dems…

Moynihan calls in from GOP Ground Zero in Milwaukee. Kmele threatens to dish about Silicon Valley support for Donald Trump. Welch only slurs as much as Reince Preibus. Topics include J.D. Vance’s political philosophy, Joe Biden’s deteriorating public appearances, and—as ever—Kmele’s mangled naughty bits. Who the hell knows when the Adderall shortage will kick in, but we’re squeezing the last drops out of Moynihan’s productivity before the vape-seizures finally do him in. Let’s gooooo!!!! ...

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com A rebroadcast of our increasingly popular Second Sunday edition, during which you, the listener, get to interact with the Fifth, berate them, flatter them, hit on them, and endlessly praise their wisdom and prescience. And thanks to all of you who showed up this week…so many, in fact, that we were forced to pay Zoom to increase the number of attendees. …

The lads make it through Biden’s presser, watch a bit of state television after, listen to the Mike Tyson’s Punch Out soundtrack, and limbo below the lowest bar in the history of low bars. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * Wizards of Transnistria * Checking the box * A festival of freedom? * More old stuff * France and the media * Brain dead v. Hitler * It didn’t end in 2008, but it proved a lot * What a dictator is… and isn’t * An accent free pass * The best video ever: F**k you bloody

It’s an Independence Day Miracle (if a few days delinquent). As another US Supreme Court term draws to a close, we tap in with our favorite SCOTUS obsessive, Damon Root (currently Freethink/Big Think, previous Reason, and author of books you really should buy). We discuss Presidential absolute immunity, Chevron deference, the pitiful state of SCOTUS journalism, and the obviously-super-serious effort in the US Congress to impeach/pack/scorn the highest court in the land on account of its...

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * Miracles of indigenous science * Why is Matt talking about Kevin Costner so much? * Aaron Sorkin solves January 6th * Norm on Bob Uecker * Matt revisits his…bad night * The Biden sitch * James Carville on masculinity and “communities of color” * How do you guys manage to watch this crap? * QAnon all the time * Sam and Diane, but not funny * The block of humans called voters * “Total…

Oh dear. Yeah, that debate. Obviously. One would have to be a very successful, very delusional Substacker to think otherwise. But the night was about to get much, much worse. Moynihan, Welch, and Friend of the Fifth (former Rep.) Peter Meijer decided to record a quick reaction pod at 1am, after a collective 542 drinks. That…didn’t work. And that’s not what you are about to hear, although some devious editor appears to have dropped random clips of one particular Fifth host (Matt) into this...

So our podcasting platform just launched an AI feature that scans your recording and automatically generates “show notes.” We gave it it try. These are the results, with a few important corrections. “The conversation begins with some light banter and discussion about rap music. [Human ed note: This was before we started, so it isn’t included in the episode, but it did feature Kmele speculating about John Lennon shooting Bob Dylan]. They then transition to talking about the upcoming...

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com Every second Sunday of the month, the lads fire up Zoom and do a (mostly) Q&A show for subscribers only. It’s very fun, often a bit messy and chaotic, and full of listeners expressing love, disbelief, dismay, and often delivering Strom Thurmond- like filibusters. So for you subscribers who couldn’t make it on June 9, we revive the Zoom recording just to…

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * Imagine if Bill Cosby was an Islamophobic dog * Cringefest in the Bronx * Jamal and AOC * Sleeve rolled up, stool in hand, unemployment on the horizon * AIPAC is everywhere! * Violent psycho extremists for peace * The war won’t end until Jake Tapper’s kids are properly harassed * Shift back to the center, Dems * Laying hands on homeless people * Homeopathy is fake, btw * Geniuses …

After a very brief hiatus—apologies, but all is explained in the first five minutes of this episode—the lads are back. And there will be a flood of new content in the coming days, to make up for our testicular tardiness (also explained in the first five minutes of this episode). Also note: this episode was plagued by technical difficulties, but we hope, through the magic of editing, that you won’t notice. * The procedure * The politicization of late night continues apace * This is our...

* Getting Drudged * Getting the spray * This new color isn’t working * Olivia amongst the Hamasniks in Union Square * Tearing up notebooks, airhorns in the ear…stuck in the middle of a protest * Hey hey ho ho s****y chants have got to go * Did any journalists reach out? * What if this was a Trump rally? * Legally blonde * You’ll be in a Trump camp * “Racial conspiracy theories” * I mean, you gotta understand where they’re coming from… This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss...

* Some unpopular opinions * Raise your hand if you’ve ever lied to the government * Fetterman and Real Time * Are you *addicted* to Marijuana??? * Who are the victims here? * Excessive sentencing is bad, even for bad people * Victims: Alex Jones? Hunter Biden? DJT??? * Biden is totally fine and thinking otherwise is the end of democracy * Joe Scarborough is the worst * Let’s all pretend that everything is normal, ok? * Scarborough casually defames two journalists * Washington Post loses a...

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * No matter what it is or who commenced it… * MAGA Hawaii * Inflatable gallows * The eye of the horrible Stormy * It’s a bird! It’s a Qassam! No…it’s the Blonde Zionist! * Dronez: The Hunt for El Chigon * Listener email: Working class kid makes good. Will his kids go soft? * Your kids want to be rich * Back in my day….. * Bad IRA comparisons from supposedly smart people * Jerry Sein…

A double-album worth of great content this week. Start off with Moynihan talking to Matt and Kmele about his Free Press piece charting the collapse of Vice and him forthcoming piece charting the collapse of the Black Panther Party. Then the lads chat about the weirdness of the New York Trump trial, Israel in Rafah, and lots more. And stick around for Kmele’s conversation with the Lennon-McCartney, the Lieber and Stoller of podcasts, Matt Boll and Andy Mills, the duo who brought you The Witch...