When we’re in distress as a couple, it’s hard to see that our partners protective moves - either criticism or withdrawal - are really ways that they are covering their deeper hurt, pain and vulnerability. But in order not to be lost to each other, first, we need to recognize that we are in a cycle where our partner triggers us and we trigger our partner… over and over. Secondly, we have to allow enough space for our partner to express themselves without expressing our pain at the same time. We have to let them go first. Third, we have to get curious about the deeper meaning of their protective moves. Do they go away because they feel like they’ll never measure up? Do they harp on relational issues because ironically, they want us to have a better relationship? Join George and Laurie today as they work through not just one, but two role plays in both the emotional and s*xual cycle and share with listeners what lies below the surface. To be successful here, listeners are reminded to have an understanding of the moves of their negative cycle and how each partner contributes. This way we can slow down, practice patience and have empathy for one another's vulnerabilities. Learning this process helps lovers meet one another in places where they previously left each other. Interested in working with an EFT couples therapist? Visit www.iceeft.com and head over to our IG @foreplay_sextherapypodcast. Let us know what you want to hear from us next. Keep it hot y'all! Check out our great sponsors! RocketMoney.com -- Stop those unused subscriptions from renewing! Rocket Money does the work for you! Uberlube.com -- Laurie's 20+ year favorite lubricant! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices