We've worked in the last few episodes to name, externalize and unite against the emotional and sexual cycles that pit partners against one another. This episode is all couples finding common ground. On this common ground couples have more safety and are able to unlock empathy and deeply care about each other's pain. This is where true change and healing begins to take place. Each time partners encounter the cycle, they get better at naming it and coming back to the common ground space. Conversations become easier, less exhausting and more fulfilling because there is new experience of compassion, care and empathy available. Here we might let the pursuing partner know, "I understand where this protest is coming from. You make sense to me hear and I care about what you go through." We might signal to the withdrawing partner, "I understand how this makes you want to run and slowing down might make you feel safer." What might you want to say to your partner in this shared space? This school of love episode is bound to show partners that change is possible and how to keep working to create common ground together. Keep it hot, y'all! Check out our great sponsors: RocketMoney.com -- get rid of those online recurring subscriptions you no longer use! Uberlube.com -- Laurie's favorite lubricant!0 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices