​​SAFE SECTION: This week, our newbies touch down in Canaan House, where both John and Gideon immediately fall for Dulcinea's tuberculosis-chic energy.  SPOILER SECTION: Hannah and Marie talk planets and Marie wonders if there is more water in Canaan House than just the oceans of the First...

SAFE SECTION: It's a training montage! Our newbies practice acting like *proper* Ninth Nunlets all day, but they're reading dirty magazines of their own invention all night! SPOILER SECTION: Marie and Hannah talk about why John loves the Roman Empire so much and tell Harrowhark to stop jumping to...

SAFE SECTION: Brooke and John, our sweet Ninth newbies, descend into Drearburgh and learn about the Emperor's open call for new saints. They sign up right away (the offhand for both is pocket sand, obvi). SPOILER SECTION: Hannah and Marie talk about relationships and speculate on why the Houses...