As a kid, Donovan loved to dance and even took lessons beginning at age 9, but growing up in San Diego, he soon realized that the many military bases in the area fueled a toxic culture of masculinity and homophobia and any behavior outside the norm put a target on his back. Once, after seeing a movie, he was called a f****t and assaulted. So even though he had some early experimentation with same sex intimacy, he didn't officially come out until college. Married now and living in Palm Springs, Donovan is in a committed, non-monogamous relationship but, even as an experienced lover, he still has had struggles with consent and standing up for himself. He describes one time when a partner didn't respect his boundaries. Donovan has some great advice when it comes to hook ups, preferring connection over speed and convenience. Kissing and eye contact is sexy and - trust him - don't ever use Vaseline as lube. Dave Pezzner, Assistant Editor & Mixer. Post-Production funding for this episode provided by Scruff Dating App. Thanks, Scruff! FRUITBOWL is produced independently by creator Dave Quantic without corporate media support. Each interview is recorded in-person, on location in each interviewee’s home. Scruff’s support currently pays for a post-production assistant editor; however, there is still need for additional financial support for production expenses including travel, accommodations and equipment rental.  Help support FRUITBOWL’s mission of documenting and sharing stories about queer coming of age by becoming a patron! A minimum $5 monthly donation allows patrons early access to episodes, behind the scenes updates and an exclusive video outtake for each episode that is not available to the general public. Thanks to Mike and Jean-Paul for becoming our latest Patrons! Currently 27 patrons collectively provide $155/month. Learn more about how to become a patron at: https://www.patreon.com/fruitbowlpodcast  Do you have a business or product that you think FRUITBOWL’s audience would like to know about? Underwriting/advertising rate sheets are available for advertisers and underwriters as well as production support. For more information, visit: https://www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate. Underwriting fees are 100% tax deductible through a partnership with Northwest Film Forum’s fiscal sponsorship program.  FRUITBOWL RECEIVES NO DIRECT FUNDING FROM NWFF, only the use of their non-profit status to receive tax deductible donations. For more information check out: https://nwfilmforum.org/education/artist-services/nonprofit-fiscal-sponsorship-filmmakers/fiscal-sponsee-fruitbowl-oral-history-queer-sex/  Word of mouth is our most powerful promotional tool right now, so tell your friends about FRUITBOWL and rate & review us on iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/fruitbowl/id1468574292  Subscribe to our YouTube video channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjuUDG5nTc6x0oZtL0guPiA Twitter: https://twitter.com/fruitbowlpod  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fruitbowlpodcast/ The official website: https://www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/ Fruitbowl’s fruit artwork was created by Patrick Stephenson of Bearpad! https://bearpad.storenvy.com/ Check out host Saira B’s awesome podcast about erotic fan fiction, FREAKY TALES 4 U! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/freaky-tales-4-u-a-queer-fanfiction-show/id1463915467 On iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/fruitbowl/id1468574292  On Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3LVzFe2HSEWCcWtP9OvSbQ?si=aopBYD9oTOqdXKZ7ZZCmXg