Episodes
It's so easy to notice how our spouse is making choices that get in the way of them getting what they really want.  Our brains expend tremendous amount of energy trying to get our spouses to see things our way, because from our vantage point, they're self-sabotaging, right? It's so obvious (to us anyway).  Of course, our spouses think think the same thing about us. :) If you or someone you love has ever felt this way, then this podcast episode is for you. We're going to talk about...
Published 06/14/24
For a lot of us, we associate the word "eroticism" with something that's distasteful or something that we probably shouldn't want as a Christ-loving people, right?  We don't go embracing the things we see on Las Vegas billboards, for example. So eroticism to to some is kind of something hard to hear.  Now, this is a concept I teach towards the end of our retreats and my program because there's a lot of groundwork to cover first to understand it. And I understand that we generally don't talk...
Published 06/07/24
Did you know that most couples that visit traditional sex therapy have very poor outcomes? They're still just as dissatisfied two years later as they were before therapy.  Now this insight is particularly striking to me. I think this happens because conventional sex therapy has a primary focus on the individual g******s and sexual dysfunction; there isn't a lot of focus on sex in the context of a marriage relationship.  I believe that both partners co-create their dynamic in the marriage....
Published 05/31/24
In this episode, we're going to be talking about making penetration pleasurable, a how to make intercourse amazing, and how to close the orgasm chasm in your marriage, as well as some specific techniques on how to make sex with your spouse sweeter and more worthwhile.  I love doing episodes like this because I learn a lot about how to make sex fun and meaningful in my own marriage. I'm reminded though that great sex is far more of a matter of the heart than it is about performance. I met...
Published 05/24/24
As you know, I love answering your questions all about sex, marriage, intimacy, and more. I recently had the opportunity to answer anonymous questions from my friend Hailey Reidhead's audience. Her listeners sent in questions which I was able to answer on her podcast, "She's a Lady," and Hailey allowed me to share it here with you. In this episode, we're going to address these great questions such as the following: Does hormonal birth control affect libido even after you stop using...
Published 05/17/24
Let's get one thing out of the way right up front: dirty talk isn't dirty. It's actually an intimate form of communication to let your spouse into your heart and mind. It's a way to express the erotic part of you with your lover. It's about using your words to arouse. The nice thing about married sex, is that it's a place you can go where things don't always have to be so cleaned up, you don't have to be so buttoned up. You can be less formal with each other and use language with each other...
Published 05/10/24
In this episode will get a talk about how to make from behind sex positions, such as Doggy style, better. We'll talk about sex toys. We'll talk about unrealistic sexual fantasies. We'll talk about exploring your own body for sexual understanding. We'll also talk about how to treat delayed or premature ejaculation. This is going to be a really fun episode.   Just the other day, my wife and I were talking about how we, of all people were probably the least likely people on the planet to start...
Published 05/03/24
After recording last week's episode, but Dr. Glenn and Phyllis hill, we stayed on and chat a little longer. We got started talking about sex dates and how Glen and Phyllis look forward to this time. So I suggested we record another episode to share this fun and creative concept with you. If you miss last week's episode, we talked a lot about emotional connection. This week's episode is all about this sexual connection, and it's a fun one and full of so many nuggets!  If you're like, we...
Published 04/26/24
Understanding and making sense of our emotions is absolutely essential to living well. We have parts of our brain that are responsible for making sense of our emotions. We also have parts of our brain dedicated to mapping the emotional state of those around us. Sometimes couples come to me for coaching because they don't feel emotionally connected to their spouse. There are a myriad of reasons why they're struggling in this area.  So I invited Dr. Glen hill, a marriage therapist, and his...
Published 04/19/24
I'm humbled that you'd trust me with your most urgent and private questions--I receive anonymous questions every day through our website. We address a handful of these questions today and I'll plan another Q &A episode in a few weeks. Sometimes I'll combine a few related questions together to address things more efficiently. (Go to our website to submit your questions.) As I address these questions today, I hope you see a common thread in everything I share. It's my belief that really...
Published 04/12/24
Picture this. The journey of building an intimate marriage is much like a road trip through winding paths and scenic routes. Sometimes there's traffic jams. Sometimes there are stretches of long, boring highways or lonely, dark nighttime drives. Sometimes there are flat tires and detours. And then there are beautiful vistas, new destinations at thrilling speeds, and awe-inspiring, jaw-dropping scenes that move you in a profound way, leaving you forever changed. My guest today is Dr. Julie...
Published 04/05/24
I feel called to this important work that I do in Get Your Marriage On! It is extremely important and meaningful work to me. The changes I've experienced in my own marriage were too good to keep to myself, and I wanted to share it with others. In some ways, I feel like I'm a missionary again--sharing the good news of the gospel to others. In fact, I strongly believe that there are many parallels between sexual development and spiritual development, and I'm not alone in sharing that opinion.  ...
Published 03/29/24
I believe sex is a very powerful language. Just think an immense amount of information is communicated between two people in any sexual interaction. Last year, my wife and I read the book Replenish, by Tammy Hill. Among other things, this book describes a practice called orgasmic meditation.   We went away for a weekend last fall and decided to give it a try. It was amazing for us because it made sex so much more about a meaningful connection and communication between us, rather than just...
Published 03/22/24
Can you relate? Growing up in a good, Christian family, you conversations about sex were mostly about biological reproduction or God's word on chastity.  Perhaps those conversations served you well as a teenager, but after married, you're left with a lot of questions and maybe even painful experiences as the realities of sex and marriage didn't fit with what you thought it would be.  I used to think sexuality and spirituality were incompatible. However, after digging into our own Christian...
Published 03/15/24
For anyone listening that wishes intimacy was less conflict and more connection, this episode is for you! I messed up Two weeks ago, I released a podcast episode about dead bedrooms. I read an email from a man who is in a lot of pain around his relationship. So I addressed areas where I could see that he could work on in his relationship, but unfortunately, that episode lacked compassion and I was wrong. So I want another chance to do it again properly this time. I've been there...
Published 03/08/24
Today we get to talk about some really exciting topics as we answer your questions from the anonymous question form on our website:  How to deal with sex and intimacy while you're pregnant and postpartum. What to do when you're hesitant about taking sexy photos or nude photos of each other. What to do when you have a spouse as obsessed with swinging and you disagree with it. What to do when a masturbation habit is interfering with intimacy and pleasure for the couple.  I really appreciate...
Published 03/01/24
It's an understatement to say that it's frustrating being in a marriage where sex is non-existent or very infrequent. According to Justin Lee Miller, PhD, who's a sex researcher, about one in seven Americans are in relationships with little to no sex. I believe good sex is healthy for a thriving growing marriage relationship. Sex is bonding, contributes to your overall health, and not to mention really, really fun and exciting. I'm on a mission to eliminate poverty and bedrooms everywhere. I...
Published 02/23/24
I'm excited to answer some anonymous questions I have received from listeners. Some topics we cover include the following: Learning to dirty talk and flirt more How to deal with undesireable sexual side effects from medications Self-Soothing Overcoming gridlock The use of bondage in a marriage bed When grief affects sexuality Masturbation and more! If you would like to submit an anonymous question for me to answer on the podcast, on Instagram, or in an email, you can do so on our...
Published 02/16/24
We recently hit a major milestone with this podcast: 1 million downloads! Thank you for your support! Let's be honest here. Initiating sex is not easy at all. We want the other person to take charge and initiate, right? We worry, how are we going to be received? There's also so much of ourselves wrapped up in what it means to initiate, or not initiate, sex. And past experiences tend to influence our reluctance to initiate as well. Yet, the reality is if one of you doesn't initiate sex, sex...
Published 02/09/24
Do you wish you could have more powerful, more pleasurable orgasms? Or to not need to cross your legs when you sneeze? Or jump on the trampoline like you used to before kids?   Studies show only about 30% of women have an orgasm from penetration. But perhaps that number could be higher if your pelvic floor (the muscles in and around your vagina) were in better condition. Research also shows that the stronger and healthier your pelvic floor muscles are, the more pleasure you’ll find from...
Published 02/02/24
Today I want to talk about embracing your eroticism. This is a beautiful part of being human; your eroticism is going to be unique to you just as your fingerprints are unique to you!  In this episode, we're going to address the following common questions: What is eroticism? Why is eroticism such an important part of a thriving marriage? Why are most people afraid of it?  How do you figure out what your eroticism is? How do you figure out what gets you going? How do you cultivate more of...
Published 01/26/24
DIY or professionally done, boudoir photography has the potential to empower women and open their minds and hearts to their own inherent beauty, as well as add an extra spark and intimacy to a marriage.  I discuss this and more with my guest today, Sierra Beltran, an experienced photographer from Arizona. In this podcast episode, we talk about the following in our deep dive on boudoir photography: How it can benefit you and your marriage What to expect What common objections there are to...
Published 01/19/24
Sex can be hard for couples for many reasons. And if you feel like it's hard for you right now, you're not alone. Sex is so highly personal and it's a very anxious behavior, yet it's also at the core of who we are. So it's like this dichotomy: we want to be close to another person, yet, in order to get there, we have to overcome a lot of nervousness and anxiety in order to enjoy that. And by the way, sex is so much more than just two bodies bumping into each other; our minds and our spirits...
Published 01/12/24
Who in your relationship has more of a say in general, who in your relationship organizes themselves around the other more? Are there any unaddressed resentments that you deal with in your relationship right now, do some things feel just one sided in your marriage? Couples that thrive have a shared sense of power in the relationship power in this context is defined as note shared power shared influence.  One person can receive the influence from the other. The moment we start creating...
Published 01/05/24
Five years ago, around the campfire with friends, one man told me about this amazing trip he and his wife made to Thailand where they camped out on the beach in this pristine tropical bay. And another friend told me about his trip to the Dominican Republic at is all inclusive resort, just he and his wife. And another guy talked about this cruise, he and his wife went on and all these fun and exciting trips with just their wives.  And I was so, feeling sorry for myself. I had extreme case of...
Published 12/29/23