It's a brand new year, time for fresh starts, time to throw those old cares away. Well, we know that's easier said than done, so we'll try and take care of a few big questions we know are on everyone's mind going into 2018. Questions like: What is your roommate storing in his conspicuous model ship? Where can I watch free episodes of my favorite TV show, Frasier? And, if someone could inject memories of a fantastic vacation directly into a person's brain, would they charge more to give you one with lots of sleep? The answers, or a close enough facsimile, are right here. Discussed: "2018: Timeless," making the most from Patreon's short-lived new payment plan, Elves Behavin' Badly, Elf on the Shelf, Mensch on a Bench, learning to subvert your Elves Behavin' Badly security system, taking patently bad advice to heart and acting on it, robbing a store by squirting lemon juice on your face to hide your identity, algorithmic biases in Santa's Workshop, extricating yourself from an apartment when roommates have claimed all your stuff as their own, the time Nick Breckon finally hung out with his roommate for a night, creating your own Total Recall vacation, accidentally injecting yourself with the wrong Total Recall movie, itching vs scratching, borrowing vs lending, extreme pedantry, the evolution of language, American English as a melting pot, New York Times dialect quiz, Lexicon Valley podcast Send us your questions at [email protected]. If you enjoyed this and would like to subscribe to an ad-free feed, please consider supporting Idle Thumbs by backing our Patreon. Chris' Endorsement: The New York Times Crossword Puzzle (Website, iOS App) Nick's Endorsement: Glowing Auras and ‘Black Money’: The Pentagon’s Mysterious U.F.O. Program, which is less of a missed gem now than it was when we recorded. Jake's Endorsement: Harry Potter and the Portrait of what Looked Like a Large Pile of Ash, a predictive-text-assisted new novel in the Harry Potter series, and Megan Nicole Dong's Large Pile of Ash illustrations.