My returning guest today is Dr. Melanie McNally the author of “Helping Your Unmotivated Teen: A Parent’s Guide to Unlock Your Child’s Potential”. Dr. McNally explains what inspired her to write her new book and a bit about what parents misunderstand about teens, motivation, and laziness. I ask Dr. McNally to tell us more about the difference between external and internal motivation and how we know when we can use external motivators while growing their internal drive. We tease apart the difference between autonomy and independence, and she helps clarify some differences between teens who are feeling unmotivated, depressed, or dealing with screen addiction.   This is such a juicy one - we also get into why and how our teens can grow grit, becoming versus being, and for tips on how to start conversations around motivation. We end on tips for finding your own motivation & purpose.  Takeaways from the show Check out Dr. McNally’s new book - “Helping Your Unmotivated Teen: A Parent’s Guide to Unlock Your Child’s Potential”  Are teenagers really just lazy?  Internal versus external motivation  High achieving parents with “average” kids  Autonomy versus independence  Collaborating with our adolescent on expectations  Low motivation versus depression versus screen addiction  Handing energetic responsibility over to our teens & growing grit  Becoming rather than being For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices