Let's pick up where we left off, shall we? It's your favorite band MUNA back in the studio (that they never really left) to really get into their mostly gastronomy-related picks for the Golden Record. In between listing out their favorite burrito spots, Naomi, Jo, and Katie listen encouragingly as Caleb and Shelby try their hand at songwriting; Caleb and Shelby give notes as MUNA sharpens their improv chops. It's a beautiful, symbiotic collaboration; a peak behind the creative curtain for...

There's arguably too many people in the studio. They arguably all talk about too many things at once.  Fortunately, Jo, Naomi, and Katie (members of your favorite band MUNA) took their mission very seriously, collaborating on a tightly edited Golden Record to send only the very best earth stuff to space. Unfortunately, they all spend too long making sex noises with their hands to get to most of them, so you'll have to tune into the next episode, too.  MUNA's Artifacts (to be continued): Spy...

Is there any lil freak/Lord of the Ring fan crossover? We sure do hope so, because Caleb, Shelby, and musician Lou Roy kind of go off about Tolkien for a while this week.  They do manage to leave Middle Earth for a little while to talk about Hometown Buffet - which we tried to provide a URL link to but incredibly, does not have a website in this year of our lord 2022. So really if any humans or aliens want to learn about that place, they kind of have to listen to this ep??? Lou's...

Caleb and Shelby sit down for a little one-on-one in the studio to discuss the biggest names of our generation: Joe Rogan, Jordan Peterson, Reba McEntire, Shelley Duvall, and Heath Ledger.  They also carve out some time to hone their improv chops but somehow only get to two of your additions to the Golden Records. But as always, they're perfect, just like all of you lil freaks.  Your Record Additions: The Reba Theme Song (Audio) Pizza with Ranch (Food) Watch the video version of the...

The world's teeeeniest podcast hosts (Caleb and Shelby) invite on the tiiiiiniest guest (writer/performer/recent sister wife Lily Sullivan [The Righteous Gemstones, I Think You Should Leave, Comedy Bang Bang!]) to talk about about this parmesan cheese commercial for an hour. They are all so small and so brave. This episode also marks the development of a brand new spinoff podcast, hereafter referred to as a "side pod," wherein one of the hosts or even the guests themselves start their own...

Caleb and Shelby invite comedian and writer Vinny Thomas into the gauntlet (our recording studio) to find out if he can survive an hour in the hottest room known to humankind (the Headgum AC was broken). See which of the following symptoms of heat stroke according to WebMD.com you can spot amongst the three of them throughout the duration of the episode:  Confusion, altered mental status, slurred speech Hot, dry skin or profuse sweating Very high body temperature Low-key delirium  Picking...

Comedian/Tennessee native Laura Peek logs on with Caleb and Shelby to wade through the trials and tribulations of the best/worst four years of everyone's life: high school. Remember senior privileges? Remember absolutely roasting your teachers any time they even slightly misspoke? Remember how hot it was when 16-year-old boys chewed tobacco and had that little faded ring on the back pocket of their jeans? Yeah, no, definitely, us either, we also think that's gross........   Laura's...

No amount of explicit content warning could possibly prepare you for what happened when writer/actress Tamara Yajia stopped by the Keeping Records studio as our first in-studio guest. Producers and Headgum staff still traumatized, need time to process. We ask that you respect our privacy and we have no further comment at this time.  Tam's Artifacts PEN15 episode, "Grammy" (2021 TV Episode) Smelling your tooth floss (Olfactory Sensation) Cheesecake Factory’s Chicken Madeira (Food) A first...

An episode that will undoubtedly be used as a resource on LGBTQIA+ allyship and gay rights manual for the alien species forever into the future. Writer and world's biggest and last remaining Pinkberry customer Jill Gutowitz stops by to explain to us (and the aliens) that adjusting a lesbian's clothing is actually a homophobic slur, how to get a boyfriend through AIM as a young closeted resident of New Jersey, and that the looks exchanged by hot young cheerleaders in an early aughts cinematic...

This week on the pod, Caleb, Shelby, and Emmy-winning (!!!) writer/actress/comedian Ashley Nicole Black get into it. It = the best moments of the human experience, the things we should be most proud to show off to the aliens in space. It mostly = the 1997 ouevre My Best Friend's Wedding.   They also get into the use of stalls vs. urinals, how to actually give someone a compliment without telling on yourself, and an absolutely harrowing tale from Caleb's dating life. Let this be a reminder to...

Live (not really!) from the brand new Headgum Studios (yes really!) it's everybody's favorite comedy/friendship duo Caleb Hearon and Shelby Wolstein!!!! Our first in-studio episode has something for everyone: Caleb trying to cry on command and then blaming everyone else in the studio when he can't; Shelby revealing that God is her social media manager; the two of them reconciling after a near-show-ending fight about potato chip flavors; and Caleb's mom texting to ask a question that's been...

What if we sent the absolute most unhinged takes on present-day society to the aliens on a Golden Record? Would it confuse them? Maybe make us seem wild and ungovernable?  Or do they also think that only women and children should be allowed to wear flip flops and that all dogs should be kept outside?  Those are the questions we reckon with on this week's episode with "small ex-Hasidic queer Jewish stand-up comedian, writer, and true original," Robby Hoffman. A must-listen, especially if...

Musician/producer Brian Robert Jones stops by the ~virtual~ Keeping Records studio to talk about what the kids mean when they say "throwing neck," TI-89 calculators, and his lifelong dream of performing live at KFC's Yum! Center in Louisville, KY. (Where, incidentally, Shelby thinks would be a cool place to lose your virginity.)  The best part of this perfect episode is that there was not a single technical difficulty or internet connection issue and we all love recording podcasts remotely...

This episode is mostly Caleb and Shelby singing along to their favorite songs. But they are at some point joined by actress, filmmaker, and amateur pop culture oracle Sarah Ramos, who has a long list of her fave pieces of modern civilization to send out to space (notably Taylor Swift's entire discography, RuPaul's drag race, and weed edibles).  There's also a discussion of best practices for self-tapes, and how to avoid being embarrassed when someone walks in on you in the bathroom. Probably...

Caleb and Shelby are joined by writer Ruby Caster to discuss how Ruby and Shelby can't read (bummer!!) and whether or not table-side Caesar salad preparation is inherently gay. They briefly touch on Ruby's Golden Record picks (which is incidentally the point of this show): romaine lettuce + parmesan cheese, the best band to have ever existed, and Midol, which Ruby attests is a miracle drug. Spoiler: it seems it is not. Ruby's Artifacts Caesar Salad from Bernie’s Restaurant in Williamsburg,...

Comedian Maggie Winters joins Caleb and Shelby for their second video episode, which devolves into chaos after a game of f*ck, marry, kill. Shelby leaves the zoom but eventually returns. Caleb's tennis leg cramps? Back for a special appearance. Also, everybody learns what paramour means.  Eventually they get to Maggie aka Marguerite's Golden Record, which is a blend of visuals and experiences the Aliens will love. On the topic of her Disney past, Caleb and Shelby ask the pointed but...

Caleb and Shelby are back with their first video episode, which also just so happens to be a Listener Submission episode. Caleb questions the quality of his video, but decides he doesn't care because he looks great on camera. Meanwhile, Shelby's shadows? Sort of going wherever they want. Before diving into your picks, Caleb and Shelby analyze: Caleb's crazy week with the Pope in Tucson Girlies who can have free clout because they're *the* girlies 3rd string NFL tight ends they are both...

Caleb is back from Missouri. Shelby is still in Ohio. There seems to be some question of whether Caleb is someone who enjoys biking but rest assured that he is into it. Comedian River Butcher is on the podcast today, and he's got the '90s on his mind. Well, the '90s and a song by Softee that absolutely GOES. River's Golden Record has the sound, look, and feel of a pre-2K world, because the aliens deserve it. And frankly? You do, too.  River's Artifacts "Cutout" by Softee (audio) The...

Caleb and Shelby cope with being apart by contemplating their sexual chemistry. Comedian Jo Firestone is on the podcast this week, as is her dog companion Loaf. Jo loves Loaf, and we love Loaf. We love specific brands of tomato sauce, we love Greek women yelling at us to get our lives together, we love munching on ice, and we love the sound macaroni makes when it's getting stirred together. Wait...do we? Regardless, we do not love rats nor the sounds they make when tickled. Jo's...

Shelby is in the studio. Caleb is in his and Shelby's old home. The novel coronavirus is in Caleb. (Ok, was in Caleb, he is feeling better, thank you.) It's a Listener Submission episode, and Listeners...your submissions this time were just...all over the place. You made Caleb and Shelby think about some weird and terrifying stuff that they definitely didn't want to think about, including but not limited to: The unknown depths of the ocean Where do eels come from? How frogs swallow (*police...

Caleb has moved out. Shelby is also moving out. Distance has come between them, but their love for one another bridges that great divide. Here to observe our hosts' attempt at coping with separation anxiety are Chair Professor Daniel Chua (University of Hong Kong) and Fanny Peabody Professor Alex Rehding (Harvard University), co-authors of the book Alien Listening: Voyager's Golden Record and Music From Earth (Princeton University Press). A discussion between four academic equals unfolds,...

Caleb is off on a long-haul fishing boat, being forced by the crew to bite the head off of a live herring as a hazing ritual. That means Shelby is going to need some assistance this week. Enter: comedian Grace Kuhlenschmidt. The guest host we need. The guest host we deserve. Together, Shelby and Grace welcome comedian, actress, and writer Greta Titelman to the pod to unpack what is easily the most ambitious record to date—a full-length compilation drawing from every discipline, plus one...

Hello, all of our special friends! And welcome to the show!! We're so happy to see each and every one of you, come on into our tree fort! We're launching Golden Records into outer space so that aliens far away can know ALL about the human race long after we've all turned to ash!! Today we're making a record with someone we care about so much, writer and actor Ryan Ken! Take a look at their record!! It's got a singer, an actor, hot bods, and great food!  Ryan's Artifacts  Whitney Houston...

Fresh off of their weekend of debauchery in New York City (read: being kept up by neighbors and flooded in their hotel), Caleb and Shelby have a date with comedian, writer, and producer Alison Leiby (The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, The President Show) to plan out her Golden Record. Alison wants to show the aliens our best media, and for them to be orally fixated and in comfortable footwear the whole time. Alison's Artifacts Diet Coke and popcorn (food and beverage)  Party Down, S02E05, "Steve...

It has been a week of fending off requests from incredibly rich and famous celebrities, Nobel Prize laureates, the greatest writers, mathematicians, and physicists of our age, emails coming in four times an hour—"Please, please allow this unbelievably brilliant environmental scientist to personally curate a Golden Record to send into outer space!" "Caleb and Shelby, this former President of the United States needs to guest on the show this week, it's incredibly important." "You guys, we will...