What about people who don’t want to have sex right away?
I just listened to the episode about “How do you know when to sleep with someone?” and I feel so alienated. The whole point of the episode was that you shouldn’t ever wait! Just have sex right away! Well, my question is what about people who legitimately aren’t comfortable having sex right away and legitimately don’t want to have sex right away? I’m so tired of feeling like no one will ever be okay with me not wanting to have sex right away and that I’m doomed to live a life of loneliness because I’m not like other people, I’m not normal because I don’t experience sexual desire with strangers. I’m so tired of all the quote-unquote “sex positivity” telling people that the right time to have sex is “When you want it!” What about the other person? What if the other person doesn’t want it yet? This is what makes all the guys I go out with feel entitled to sex, and then they ghost me when it becomes clear I won’t give them what they want. I’m so tired of the attitude that you have to figure out sexual compatibility before you ‘waste’ your time getting to know someone, instead of getting to know someone before you can figure out whether you want to have sex with them. I know I shouldn’t expect to feel included as a person who doesn’t feel comfortable having sex right away. I learned a long time ago that that makes me a freak. But hope springs eternal, and so thought maybe this time I wouldn’t be made to feel other.
Tiareleine via Apple Podcasts · United States of America · 01/21/20
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